Foto Feature: Myles McGuinness

19 04 2010

“A photograph is memory in the raw.”
—Carrie Latet

Myles McGuinness is a photographer who lives in Oceanside, California, but he grew up all over the United States—places like the Appalachian Mountains of West Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina, and the beaches of Georgia, Texas, Florida and California. As he puts it, “I was raised on snow and saltwater.” He traveled a lot as a kid and developed a passion for exploration and photography. After graduating from the Savannah College of Art and Design with a double major of photography and graphic design, he started his own brand communications company in 1998 called 9MYLES.

Through his work he aims to capture images that have “a profound aesthetic and an elegant simplicity that is drawn from the magic and spirit of the sea, the land and the people whose paths he has crossed along the way.”

What do you love about photography?
With my images I look to combine a certain energy: a feeling, with unique light at an equally interesting moment in time. At the heart, it all comes back to the ocean and what it is that draws us to it. It keeps me up at night. I cannot turn it off in my head.  I have learned the best way to express my passion for the ocean is through photography. Its feeling and essence is what I try to embody and capture within my images. Subtle but bold.  Simple yet deeply complex. Instantaneous but timeless.

How long have you been shooting surfing?
I’ve been shooting lineups for about 15 years…you know a couple quick snaps before paddling out. But I really started taking it seriously about 2 years ago when I purchased an SPL water housing before a trip to Indonesia. Things have taken off since then.

What publications do you contribute to?
In the surf industry I’ve had my images run in Surfer Magazine, The Surfer’s Journal, Water, with upcoming images running in NALU and The Surfer’s Path. I’ve been trying to branch out a bit with the unraveling of the surf industrys two largest pubs (Surfer & Surfing) both in Chapter 11. They are mainly running “staff shots.”

Was it an honor being a finalist in the Follow the Light competition?
It was a privilege to be part of it all and to make the finals says a lot. I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I didn’t say that I’m little bummed I didn’t win. I truly believe the best guy won (Ray Collins). If only I lived in Oz. He’s a good bloke and a more deserving person couldn’t have won it. As they would say in Australia “good on ’em.” Larry is smiling down on us and his light continues to touch us all.

Who are your influences and favorite photographers?
Water, the ocean and the moon are the most dominant natural forces of my life. These three elements provide an abstract means of communication, through both surfing and photography. The ocean’s energy often transcends reality. It is this energy that I aim to capture. Artistically, Mies van der Rohe—less is more. Edward Hopper for his realism and simplicity. Edward Weston and Ansel Adams for their surreal landscapes. Art Brewer for his grit and portraits, as well as John S. Callahan for his untold discoveries. Timeless, unrelenting, honest, always exploring.

Do you think the surf industry takes advantage of photographers at times?
Man, this is a double edge sword. Of course the surf industry takes advantage. I recently had someone working for one of the largest companies in the industry with sales exceeding a billion dollars annually tell me they only pay $125 for a catalog cover and that included using it on their web site for up to a year. With a take or leave it attitude. The worst part was being told you will get great exposure and can sell prints to make up for it. Then they tried to convince me that this was industry standard, comparing their commercial catalog to editorial use.

Yes, it is true we all are trying to climb the surf industry ladder. But at what expense… it is a delicate balance between exposure and also getting paid for your labors. Giving away work for less than reasonable value not only hurts my bottom line but undermines all the other hard working photographers too. Being the cheapest gets you no where but poor. I also think the photographers need to share thoughts, billing practices, pricing and rates more openly. Maybe even form a union. The way it works right now everybody is undercutting and blaming the companies. But they’re helping undermine the photo industry by selling their images out the backdoor for less than industry standard. Or even worse, the industry is telling the photographers what they pay. Have a rate, stick to it and don’t be afraid to walk away.

For more of Myles’ images go to 9mPhoto.

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107 responses

19 04 2010
CaliGirl

money v humanity part 2.

19 04 2010
Randomrandomness

Marks Mom

19 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Hmmmm. This looks like an interesting blog. It almost feels like I have been here before. It reminds me of a surfing blog that I frequented up until about a week and a half ago, before it just disappeared.

I’ll have to check this one out more often.

Cheers!

19 04 2010
Kemo Slobee

Me am very elated much times for this blog. It uplifting my soul to great spirit in sky. Me love each expedient updates wholsomely with open arms.

Please continually to do so, brown cow.

Hmmm. heya heya heya heya heyyyyyyyy.

19 04 2010
Demon

For fuck sake Nug… take you that long to bond out?

19 04 2010
Peter Perfect

This no god. me no likey.

19 04 2010
ed

Mark’s mom is everywhere hey!

19 04 2010
Peter Perfect

Take to long post. Then sheet. complete sheit. who give flucky ablout gay phtog. fulkuck them. like tofu, ‘cept whthout flava

19 04 2010
Wounded Albatross

@PP

Im over your soliloquy… Someone needs to bitch slap sooner than later.

Other photographers will be ripping off his look (i. lifestyle images) if they haven’t already. Their is a big problem in the photo industry. So nice to hear someone speak up, “tell me they only pay $125…”

Come On Bro! Will be great tear sheet! F… Bro Deals!

All for a union or guild!

20 04 2010
Peter Perfect

Wounded Albatross, I guess a bitch slap is all ya got.

20 04 2010
Wounded Albatross

No Peter, I’ve put my time in the water. I can only speak for myself here
but I still remember seeing a surf magazine for the first time! Im pretty sure that was the day I stopped following me mom around the grocery store whining about my younger sister riding in the cart. I know the cover image… Hawaii issue ” the Mecca” before Laird was Laird. That magazine rack and issue are the reason Im on this site.

An “A” grade image is worth more than $125!

More?

19 04 2010
Lone Ranger

PeterPerfect and Kemo Slabee talk just like Jamie O’Brien.

Hmmmmm.

19 04 2010
Sorrows of young Dante

What kind of name is myles mcguiness? He must have alcholic ancestors to have that last name.
I’m sad because i like the number 4. I was hoping that the previous post would make it to 400 comments for a lucky 4 leaved clover.
A McGuiness leprachaun!
The use of art fag speech in this post made me sad so i shed a few tears and held a colt 45 to my forehead just to imagine the possibilities.
My wrists are healing nicely after the bells contest.

Anyone want to go and hang out at the brothel? Myles? Shout you a guiness ye ol matey.

19 04 2010
Dingh L. Berry

Perfect Peter-

Please do not make fun of my speech son of a dick. It is good that noogably has made nother post. I know how these photographer son of a dick feels. try selling slurpee for 99 cents motherfucker. I tink i know these cali girl…i see her outside my store, full of crabs and the crap, fucking bitch hooker mothefucker.

Kemo slobee=cumdumpster motherfucker got dam son of a dick!!

so sorry, please, thank you.

19 04 2010
Elwood

The photo of Blacks’ was nice.

The subject kinda got touched on by Mark and a few others a while back…. but the dudes that charge big Black’s don’t get nearly the credit or play they deserve…. TSJ piece by E. Slater was nice and kinda taps on it… but until you witness it or paddle out you can’t really comprehend…. no ski’s.. no real channels.. and all the waves energy focused in the lip…. and sometimes on your head.

20 04 2010
Jamon Bagel

True story. Or you try to duck dive a canyon set and take a lip on the back and your board snaps in your hands and hits you in the face and you dislocate three ribs. Still feeling that one.

19 04 2010
Mike

Thank you Mark, that was nice. It really is everyones fight.

Blacks is an overpaid bitch Elwood. You need to travel brother. The TSJ piece was lazy and too convenient. Looks like Pez is suffering from “Samueliitis”…. he doubled down on the releases and is struggling to keep up with the interest. Poor Lewis, a victim of his own genius and now Pez.

Myles points out the obvious…. again. The surf corps run the “bro” status to death and hype the mythical “exposure” as the reward because pay would jeapordize the impression of being above commerce…. even when it’s suffocating the talent. No other sport gets away with such crass and transparent disingenuality.

Money V Humanity….. which side will you choose? Our best weapon is our collective usage of money that escapes Big Money. Patronize Americans building American product and leave the parasites (surf industry) to their bottom feeding.

And yes Enoch, I made up that word, but it should be entered into Websters.

19 04 2010
m

lifes a bitch aint it

19 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Attn:

Future Surfing Photographer’s should heed this simple lesson.

This is the best your life will ever be,

A weekend at the Queefwood Suites in Daytona Beach where your girlfriend and your star’s girlfriend share a two-double-bed poolside and your own aching nutsacks go in on a king with a rollaway and balcony overlooking the parking lot. The hotel is “within walking distance of the beach”, which means you’ll burn through your flip flops the next day while walking the three quarters of a mile to the ocean past strip mall after strip mall of shitty tee shirt shops and payday loan centers. Everything will be more expensive than you planned, which means you’ll be draining bank accounts and fighting over how to divide up the restaurant checks before the trip is even half over.

Knife fights will be inevitable. (Jimmicane can attest to this… except with cocks).

You’ll drink too much and do a few moderately stupid things like taking the girl’s suits off in the hot tub and taking power hits of pot off a stash you bought from some Cuban guy at a club. To shut your blue-balled mouths up, the girls will kiss each other and touch boobs, but that’s as far as they’ll go. The drunken sex they’ll have with each other will be awkward, rushed, and forgettable. Only the star’s girlfriend will score with somebody outside the group, but she’ll be too humiliated by the things the mysterious patchouli-smelling fucker made her do, plus the fact that she’s pretty sure he taped the whole thing, to tell anyone about it. You’ll ask her why her eyes are all puffy and red and she’ll simply tell them it’s from the chlorine in the pool and not enough sleep.

The second to last night of the trip someone will slip roofies into your own girlfriend’s drink. They’ll find her sprawled and nude behind a dumpster in an alley two streets past the hotel; her body covered with sharpie drawings, and something purple and sticky dripping from the battered bubblegum lips betwixt her legs.

Naturally, she won’t remember what happened, and she’ll spend the rest of the day in stunned silence. Nobody will notice that your potential star doesn’t say much that day either but drinks himself into a near coma that night.

The ride home to the white-man’s ghetto of Newport Beach will be long and quiet. To break the tension you’ll each say something like “Wow, that was a great trip, wasn’t it?” to which everyone will mumble, “Yeah, it was great, really good. Like, awesome. It was…it was yeeew! Pump up the ‘Japanese Motors’.”

In 20 years, when you’re all divorced, your bodies all gone to seed, and your children disappointing your gutter-high expectations, you’ll look back on this day for what it was, and collectively drop the toaster in the bathtub.

Cheers, mates!

20 04 2010
ButSeriouslyNow...

10 on the hawaiian scale of 10– fucken’ epic …

19 04 2010
Bone an Raized

“Patronize Americans building American product”
Like Al Merrick!
That fucker’s got Real shapers working for him. Why not buy their boards, Mike?
Thanks for the post Nug. I like Myles’ style, and I’m w/Ellwood, The Blacks shot is nuts. Blacks looks awesome. Water’s too cold for Bone, though!

Just booked a spa vacation. Biological weight loss program, combined w/ Southern Ocean energy. No frills. No wife, kids, job.
Gonna pee in my pants!

19 04 2010
Enoch Ward

@Bone an Raized,

The robots that miraculously fill Al Merick’s assembly lines are constructed with the brittle bones and funneled creativity of Indonesian orphan’s that are later slaughtered and ground up to mulch the fairways of Augusta…

… so how DARE you call Al Merick un-Amerkin!!!1!!!

Plus, Rob fuckin’ Machado lives in Indonesia so shit’s legit, beeeaaatch!

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Me? I ride a board my brother built me. He was bone an raized on the Oregon shores jess like me.

Solid craftsmanship too. Shit looks like an upside down banana. Gotsta keep it real low centered with the pivot on a heavy back foot. I look like an electrocuted banshee trying to pass a fart when I drop in… but that shit’s for real, dog. The Surfer’s Journal is even thinking of doing a piece on my piece… if the Health Department grants them clearance and all.

Awl Auhmurkin, baybee.

Yeeehaw!!!

20 04 2010
Bone an Raized

Thanks for setting me straight to the ways of the ALMIGHTY AL!
ForaminuteIwasconcernedforthosethatmakethecraftthatmakeourridewhatitis.
Now I’m thinkin bout cleanin my clubs.
That and DISENTARY.
Whats the best liquid cork,Enoch?
You seem like the kinda guy with some knowledge of endless flows of effluent.

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

@Bone an Raized,

Try the chloroform rag. Sharp, then pungent… just let it ride. When you wake up with an apple stuffed in your mouth and your exposed asshole tacked North, just relax and imagine those times when sitting on the toilet meant expelling fecal logs less than the diameter of Derek Reilly’s tail.

Afterwards, just scurry back towards the motherland of STAB.

20 04 2010
Bone an Raized

the hinterland, the hinterland, were gonna sail to the hinterland
not the afterbirth of STUB

20 04 2010
skud

this damn ash cloud is chafing my ass. was supposed to be in England on the 22nd, doubt it will happen.

the ASP is STILL gayer than a volcanic ash cloud from Iceland effectively shutting down 80% of European airspace and killing my travel plans.

20 04 2010
facebook

wrong site, come back home skud.

20 04 2010
Jah-Glory

It’s sad that a cover shot in a catalog only receives $125. Without coverage of surfing through the lens, its impossible to convey the image that the industry uses to sell more fashion items to women and (girly) men who care about fashion. It’s another freightening example of how the Madison Ave Dollar is ass fucking everyone low on the corporate totem pole. If a company is run in the stock exchange, it’s prime task is increasing stockholder wealth. Increasing revenues and sparing no UNNESSESARY expenses. I guess the business people who decide the proper rates in mags and catalogs want the best photos for as little money as possible. That’s how it is. How many acceptable photos are these mags getting sent to them on the regular anyway? If theres a high supply of good photos, then the bargaining power of photographers is loooowww. And having the photogs (artists) to band together to agree on a rate? Far-fetched yet possible. The magazines seem to get great photos for whatever theyre paying. Great Photos by the way mr. mcguinnes.

20 04 2010
Cry me a river

You dont deserve anything for the cover of SWELL. Thanks MCdork for suppling the mass of kooks who rip our sport off for a profit.

A real industry person who deserves sympathy is the SHAPER. Not the loser standing on the beach all day looking at men. I cant ride a picture , though i have ruined many a playboy.

I had respect for photogs until the new era of Tufat/jimmicane. (ie land shooter who cant swim.

20 04 2010
Dirty South

@ Cry me river… half of the images are shot from the water? So what’s your point.

20 04 2010
Cry me a river

Point??? I got no point. Like life I am pointless.

But the new Surfing does have a good article with XANADU about corpos trying to take over the surfboard industry.

Hes got a point….

20 04 2010
m

this guy is better than all you fags

20 04 2010
mark

@Elwood

Big Blacks is too heavy for me. I admit it. 8 to 10 foot out there is drowning material.

BTW Henry Hunte, pictured in that TSJ article, is a great Windansea area surfer and cool as can be. Very modest considering his ability.

I like waves that have channels. And CaliGirls paddling out in them.

20 04 2010
Jack Handy

“I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.” – Jack Handy

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

@ Jack

Randomrandomness is MY name. You had a nice run in the 80’s with SNL and all but nugable.com only has room for one guy who writes complete useless bullshit. Next were going to have a sniglet guy popping up and my shtick will be a thing of the past. Get lost, Jack!

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

Weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions

20 04 2010
m

You can’t handle no weed brownie

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

@ M

Randomrandomness eats weed brownies topped with kif where the sugar should go.

20 04 2010
PT

You can always tell who the pioneers are because they have arrows in their back and are lying face down in the dirt.

20 04 2010
Elwood

@ Mike…

Blacks @ 8′-12′ is heavy, but not over the top heavy. A lot of big wave wanabees on big boards that have decent enough skills to pick the right waves and make the drop. Maybe an occasional shallow barrel but couldn’t do a real turn to save their life. At 12’+ it’s a whole other ballgame and whole other crew… pound for pound as heavy as anywhere in the world.

The Black’s “local” crew surfs way better than the so-called Swami’s local crew (although that is starting to change with some new blood)…. but the local crew at the Con or bigger Ventura breaks definitely surf better than either.

20 04 2010
Caligirl

@Mark

You can paddle out directly behind me anytime. Especially on a hot August afternoon at WindanSea when I am wearing my Roxy string bikini.

If you are lucky I may even through in a courtesy duck dive for you.

Just sayin.

20 04 2010
Mark

@Elwood

So you are saying that Blacks Beach, on a 10 foot day( 20 foot faces ) is not “over the top heavy”?

Either you are very gnarly or your credibility is fuckin shot.

20 04 2010
Elwood

@ Mark,

8′-12′ is DOH+ but not 20’… I got off the Hawaiian scale about 10 years ago like everyone else.

20 04 2010
someone in the know

I hear enoch Wards mom is “top heavy”.

20 04 2010
Upper middle class

….surf photogs can afford to struggle since most come from a family with established money.

Though they will end up pennyless due to no education and alcohol/sexuality issues.

20 04 2010
mark

@Elwood

Thanks for the clarification.

So, according to you, a 6 foot tall person who drops into a wave at Blacks that is double their height or maybe a foot or two higher i.e. a 12 to 14 foot face is now riding a 12 foot wave. And also, according to you, that person is now part of a crew that is, pound for pound, amongst the heaviest in the world.

I don’t mean to be a sarcastic asshole Elwood plus you are one of if not my favorite commenter on here. But you have to admit that your numbers are off.

You should have said Blacks when over 15 to 18 foot faces is in that category. I would bet that most readers of this formerly epic blog were thinking 8 to 12 foot hawaiian when they read your words.

O.K. now we can back to RR and JH and M slinging feces at one another.

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Mark’s mom has two scales in her bathroom. The first is a Richter Scale. The second is an Hawaiian Scale. She prefers the Hawaiian Scale because it cuts her weight in half. Which is a good thing, considering Hawaiian Scales read up to eleven digits.

20 04 2010
Elwood

@ EW,

how high does the Hawaiin IQ scale go up to… does it have three digits?

20 04 2010
Elwood

@ Mark,

Much to do about nothing…. I’m somewhere in the middle between the Hawaiian scale and the surfline scale. Big blacks with 18’+ faces, however measured, is fucking heavy….. and I’m either at Swami’s or up in Santa Barbara.

20 04 2010
Bone an Raized

Gettin kinda scary when I find myself agreeing w/ Mark. Wave size, channels, G-strings…
While I’ve got your attention, Mark, does posting under your female alter ego’s
moniker give you some kinda rise?

20 04 2010
Angry Titta w/ a broke toof

Broke da Hawaiian scale
Gonna broke da Richter too when you see me in my gstring.

20 04 2010
mark

@EW

Your wife told SmyrnaJeff that having sex with you is like massaging her outer clitoris with half a vienna sausage that has 2 shriveled raisins taped to the side of it.

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

Ummm. I’m pretty sure most normal beach going ladies these days are not rockin’ the G-strings. Pretty sure you still may find a G or two at the river but in an everyday beach town what you see these days is more of a Brazilian hybrid where the bulk of the material actually hides out in the crack. The standard 80-90s G is now obsolete. Hope this helps.

20 04 2010
cmr

there still going strong in daytona beach and surrounding gentlemen clubs….fyi

20 04 2010
mark

@Elwood

You have something in common with Mike!

He also hides in the sheltered lee of Santa Barbara during major swells with his balls hoovered up inside his pelvic cavity like Ryan Seacrest walkin into the Playboy mansion.

20 04 2010
Elwood

Guess I won’t be extending you the invite to The Ranch anytime soon.

20 04 2010
CaliGirl

@RandomRandomness

Who said I was normal?

And just who, pray tell, looked you square in your bloodshot bong water riddled eyes and lied to you sayin that I was a LADY?

Fuckin Teeny Weeny Barn. Stay in your mom’s basement fag and keep chokin your Rooster until the skin literally falls off and , try as you may, you simply cannot remove the blood stains off your hands.

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

@CalinonGirl

Why ya so angry with Randomrandomness? I’m pretty sure all I did was make sure some of the dudes here understand that most girls do not roll with the G these days.

Slow down a bit, fella.

20 04 2010
cmr

Sounds like ragtime for cali girl??!!

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

The Hawaiian IQ scale stops at 20. Any higher than that would require more fingers and toes.

20 04 2010
trauzersnake

Blacks is heavy-duty. No question about it. Haven’t surfed it in a long time. Used to love it at a medium size. Bigger than say head and a half high- serious. Took a canyon set directly on the head once(followed by another for good measure) after taking what seemed like 50 duck dives to get to that outside impact zone. That really scared the living shit out of me. I turned around and let it wash me in. You can actually skirt around if you paddle down between south peak and scripps-but no guarantee you won’t get cleaned once outside.

20 04 2010
Conrad

A photographer is just a huge ego behind a viewfinder…
Photographers are cook, they think they understand how surfing works but they just understand shit… Surfing would be much better without photographers, life too!

20 04 2010
Kawika

@Enoch Ward

Drop by V-Land sometime brah. Talk all your SHET!!!! in fucking person instead of behind your veil of secrecy on the computer.

Go ahead. We dare you.

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

@Kawika

Okeedokee.

Just an advance warning – I may be be packing heat. And by ‘heat’, I mean books. ‘Cuz books is like Kryptonite to Hawaiians.

21 04 2010
m

i love the Hawaiian style of saying “shit”

20 04 2010
Smyrnajeff

One time Mark and his friend were walking up the beach at Blacks headin north toward the Glider port trail.

It was late morning and they were beat after a 3 hour sesh.

The fog had rolled in and things were kinda spooky if you know what I mean. Out of nowhere, literally coming straight outta the fog, walks this 6’6″ tall bearded fuckin nomad lookin cowboy. He was wearin snakeskin cowboy boots, a ten gallon hat and….thats about it.

And there, unavoidable in its arrogance, swang a thick veiny fire hose careening back and forth between ocean and cliff immune to all in its way.

Mark has wondered recently. Was that you Trauzersnake?

20 04 2010
trauzersnake

@Smyrna-

Nope, wasn’t me…..but i could see how you would make the correlation.

20 04 2010
trauzersnake

I kind of wonder if the guy that used to draw cartoon characters in the sand with a garden rake might have been Enoch Ward, though. Or possibly Peter Perfect?

20 04 2010
trauzersnake

My friend almost got killed by Perry Dane at V-land. I thought it was f’ng hilarious.

20 04 2010
Smyrnajeff

Maybe A.I.’s Dealer? Or Occy’s Mum?

Scum like Enoch Ward have so many aliases it is disgraceful.

New Fuckin RULES!!!!!!!!

Post in your own God given name and that is it!!! No exceptions!!! Got it Mark?

20 04 2010
CaliGirl

I’m down with that.

20 04 2010
Kawika

Shoots brah. Can handle.

20 04 2010
Fidel

Si senor Jeff.

Rules are rules.

20 04 2010
Frank Woodbury

Roger that Smyrna J.

20 04 2010
Kampion, Hynd, Warshaw and Hawk

We always have.

20 04 2010
Hog Flu

No fuckin worries S Jeff! Here at Narra we aren’t down for fakers anyway.

20 04 2010
Mark

I’m proud to be me. No problem here.

20 04 2010
trauzersnake

Looks like somebody forgot to take their medicine.

20 04 2010
hhhmmmm....

enoch ward is tupat………..

20 04 2010
Bone an Raized

Australian foreplay? “You up?”
Tasmanian foreplay? “You up, Mum?”
Even Hawaiians can plagiarize Digga.

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Who the fuck is Tupat? I thought he was gunned down in Vegas by some East coast thugs.

20 04 2010
trauzersnake

Funny how that remains unsolved.

20 04 2010
A Questioning Authority

the Lantern is wanted for Frotteurism.
That is all.

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

Randomrandomness is Tex Cobb but y’all already knew that shit.

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

Lakers, Stone IPA, 420bra, raise the roof, WOO WOO!

(the following was an actual facebook update from my FB page)

((this may be a new Random thing I will do from time to time))

20 04 2010
Randomrandomness

“At night I do. And I keeps one in the chamber in case you ponderin’.” Omar Little

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Throbbing Gristle, glass of Jameson with a splash of water, script deadline due at 10am tomorrow.

Woot, Woot.

(This is a fun game)

((I should start a Facebook Page))

20 04 2010
Elwood

back in Black’s…..

I have my near drowning story there too… most freaked I’ve been surfing in Cali. other than the time my leash broke at TOH Spooners.

But my best Black’s story aint about almost drowning… quite the contrary. About 20 years ago me and my brother and a few bro’s and Chicks are hanging on the beach.. it’s about 1′ but warm and trunk-able.. we are 420’d outa our minds and decide to surf naked. Mind you this is before they made all the fried sausages hang north of the glider port. So we’re just fucking around surfing naked and not trying to feel to ghey. It’s so small we are cordless. My brother looses his board all the way to the sand. As he goes to retrieve it two of the boys feel like it’s their lucky day so they hover over my brother as he’s bending down to retrieve his board. He really doesn’t know what the fuck is up till they start following him back into the lineup. He starts moving quicker and then almost running back to the surf. One of the homo’s leaps out to try to grab his ass or something. He got so close that had he had a nose like Owen or EW he may have got a wiff. One of my bro’s who is a jock that played O line college football is all freaked out and goes in to confront the C-Suckers. Mind you he is naked and 420’d… he’s getting all up in their faces (mind you with all of them naked with hundreds of people on the beach witnessing). It goes on and on with threats and “F…ing Fags”, etc, etc. until the lifeguards have to show up and break the whole thing up.

20 04 2010
Elwood

@ Nug…. hey bro it’s 420 day…. a great opportunity or post missed… or hurry up.. you got 3 more hours.

@ Mike (in spite of the above story). I have 2 close bro’s that grew up in the Islands… not transplants but bone and raized… They are way legit surfers… Surfed contests at Pipe, had photo’s published in mag’s, etc. etc. Since relocated to Diego… They both claim that when Black’s hits that zone (Canyon sets that are 15’+) that it is as heavy as anything in the Islands….. period!

20 04 2010
Mark

@Elwood

Best part of your story was triple overhead Spooners.

I was there alone once with my wetsuit out waxing my board for 30 minutes. Also spent 20 minutes walking in and looking a few miles back up the road ( cant mention ) and pussed there also.

It was huge with long, long lines. If I had paddled out at Spooners then you pukes woulda never got to know me.

P.S. Indicator thru the Cove was epic that afternoon/

20 04 2010
Elwood

yep… the waves were scary enough… but I had to swim in all the way through that frickin bay solo… it was all stormy with only one of my friends out the back. Only time I’ve really been freaked about getting whacked from below.

20 04 2010
Mark

BOOOOOYEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Padres win 5th straight!

FUCK YOUUUUUUU GIANT FAN!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU LEWIS SAMUELS!!!!!

21 04 2010
ButSeriouslyNow...

i got your 420 day right here you bunch of dopers ( not that there’s anything wrong with that ) – n.y. yankees = best record in baseball. suck the big mans nuttz haters …

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

I once paddled out at quintuple overhead Guilt’s Noose in Oregon. The wind had abated enough to make the run through the sloughs just outside the main key doable and my balls were swollen with cannabic-pride. It wasn’t until I had punched through the first few lefts that were wrapping wide of the bluff that I turned landward to gather me bearings. And there, on the beach appeared a spectacle so immense and all-encompassing, that all five millimeters of my rubber were immediately saturated with my fresh micturition.

Seeing this gruesome thing in all its expansive glory caused me to utter the words that only a privileged few have ever heard muttered: “Mmmmmmmark’s Motherrrrrr!!!!!!!!.”

Knowing that I’d seen and survived the worst a mortal man could bear, I turned and stroked stealthily towards the horizon… confident that this paltry swell would soon succumb to the wrath of my rail.

(The preceding story is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

Happy 4-20 to all of you derelicts.

20 04 2010
Enoch Ward

Speaking of derelicts, where de-fuck’s PeterPerfect? Or that rapacious rapscallion Las… I mean Perkus Teeth. Don’t tell me they have some secret little male-scat video blog of their own to tend to.

Let’s have some fun Peadorf and Pookie.

And by ‘male scat,’ I mean Billabunk Pro Brasil is about to start.

20 04 2010
wes

TOH Spooners? You guys are fuckin nuts – I saw it at 15-20′ and flawless a couple of years ago – wished I had the sack for it, but that paddle out looked like absolute hell. The paddle out at Sandspit at 6-8 feet is bad enough.

20 04 2010
Gath Helmet

@Wes,

Touching story. But 15′-20′ to me is barely overhead.

20 04 2010
Elwood

I wouldn’t think about paddling back out at TOH Spooners right now…. not even with Mark’s chode, EW’s Snoz, Mike’s jaw, and Mark’s mom’s kankles. But 15 years ago… the things you do when your young., dumb, and not getting laid enough.

Mark… who gives a fuck about Hazard’s….. I called that fricking Albino janitor out way back in the day…. the locals there aint shit compared to that break in Diego that is south of PB.

20 04 2010
Bone an Raized

THROBBING GRISTLE!!!!
Gettin down w/ Genisis P’Oridge!
YES ENOCH!!!!
Ever eat any balut?

21 04 2010
100!!!

EW is my hero…

21 04 2010
Mark

@Enoch Ward

I was surfing in Carlsbad 2 days ago. It was kind of hot and glassy and pretty fun south swell lefts.

As I walked away after 2 hours I noticed a crowd gathered pointing frantically at some kind of commotion roughly 50 yards out past the line up.

It was a freaking HUGE whale with what appeared to be its baby right next to it chugging northward toward Alaska.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

21 04 2010
Jimmicane

Good work Myles. You’ve come a long way with your photography since your first email you sent me back at ESM.

30 04 2010
cmr

FUCK YOU JIMMY!!! 9 days before surfing ran a story on the oil spill!!! But why would you care you have been a FAT LITTLE SPOILED BITCH YOUR WHOLE LIFE…Tell everyone how your daddy bought all your cameras. YOUR BULLSHIT AND YOUR SITE IS AS WELL!!!!!!!!!

HEY EVERYONE JIMMY HAD A SHRINE TO KELLY SLATER IN HIS ROOM GROWING UP !!!! it used it as constant masterbation material…..

22 04 2010
G.G.D.K

O.K kids

“Pro’ surfing is doing what Kurt Cobain did to himself after he married Courtney Hole.
It’s finally killing itself,for the last easy dollar on (ocean@)earth.

Cheque(?)-ASL the website for more detail’s

In the case of Byron Bartlett Vs A.Walsh&Stu Kennaredee
South Coast Vs North Coast
unknown charger Vs Big Wave charger&small Wave destroyer
non-fiction Vs fiction
Soul-full Vs Sell outs
Nth West locals,Leba(Lennknox) locals,Ragland locals etc Vs Rip Curl the Search Pro.
Can’t wait for Dave Mailman’s Response to this shit.Or has Rip Curl already Hired him’out’

9 05 2013
Unknown

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Keep up the good writing.

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