Five Photos, Five Quotes

16 03 2010

 

“One should never drive away from good surf.”
— Allan C. Weisbecker, In Search of Captain Zero 

 “Four legs good, two legs better!”
— George Orwell, Animal Farm
 

 

“I often think how unfairly life’s good fortune is sometimes distributed.”
— Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace 

 

“They were like two enemies in love with one another.”
— Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov 

“I fear someday I will meet God, he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say.”
— Ronnie Shakes

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148 responses

16 03 2010
trauzersnake

yeah first!!…..well, guess I’m gonna go beat off now.

16 03 2010
trauzersnake

P.S.-thx Nug for putting the phillipine chicks AFTER Gudang. Definitely helps my cause.

16 03 2010
e

Nice Russian Lit. references.
Sometimes the Lit. BA makes me feel smarter than others.

P.S. Haven’t been reading the blog ’till today; funny to see the PS crowd all gathered together.

16 03 2010
Randomrandomness

Thai chicks > Filapinas

16 03 2010
Elwood

@ trauzer…. you got to cum first this time.

16 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Jamie O’s arms are so long he can use them as paddles when he SUP’s.

Seriously.

He has the wingspan of The Spruce Goose. When he yanks his fleshy pelvic nob, his elbows probably scrape the ground.

… and with that picture in my mind, I just projectile vomited all over my laptop.

Sorry.

16 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Jamie O’Brien could lay down at Goliath’s feet, reach up and tickle his chin.

True story.

17 03 2010
Wounded Albatross

Thats funny!

16 03 2010
trauzersnake

@Elwood-

That first shot was so hard, I don’t even know where it went! (that happens sometimes-ususally you discover it months later, like, what’s this fuckin’ stain on the wall right here??)

16 03 2010
allan weisbecker's rinkld nutsak

“…Never hang a fuckin’ hamock sideways into the wind either….cumdumpsters.”

16 03 2010
ed

looks like the quotes have made everyone think

16 03 2010
mark

low class comments. especially blas rotto.

bored fucking stiff. where is lewis?

16 03 2010
trauzersnake

@Mark

I beg to differ. I think the comments so far are more fun than the last few threads. (i even got to cum first). Going through a family illness right now, this is the only crack at humor I have right now….and i appreciate that.

16 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@mark,

“low class comments…”

So… you were expecting something different from us?

16 03 2010
Enoch Ward

And my comments were merely a statement of facts. If you think they were crass, then you should take that up with JOB’s parents. For they are the ones that endowed this “freakshow” with arms that, when windmilled, can generate enough electricity to power all of Alabama.

Again, just the facts, ma’am.

16 03 2010
Enoch Ward

According to Mike, Lewis is in Spain. Perhaps Mike will run into him whilst traveling in NZ.

16 03 2010
trauzersnake

Laird Hamilton looks like he’s ready to chew Dave Mailman’s cock off. Shit, so does Gudang for that matter.

16 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Laird Hamilton made love to a toaster oven once. And the sonuvabitch called him back two days later.

16 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

It’s true. I was there in that toaster over. Still traumatized.

16 03 2010
Elwood

The P.(un-tang) RANKINGS:

Nobody wants to nor should touch the Power Rankings. But how would our elite pro’s rank with the ladies.. since most are hitched it’s more fictional than we’d like… but let’s see how they may rank:

Take the elite 11 and Freddy P. and see how they stack up:

12/11: THE GOODS: Sex = Marriage, the whole Christian values, etc. etc. Not bad looking dudes but I think I’ll leave this one alone.

10: FANNDROID: Exercise, health food, protein shakes (the regular kind) = Boring. He’s definitely best suited for a steady relationship. Eugene is way too over the top to score quality tail. Eugene = The softball captain at 2 AM.

9: TAJ’s BURROW: For an international athlete teen age looking models don’t impress me. However, he does look a lot like many of the dudes in You Porn that throw out huge ropes, so maybe I’m missin something here.

8. ADRIANO: The inside track to all the Brazza chicks is worth some points. And he’s dated a hot chick that charges bigger waves than he….. oops… did I hear somebody say “strap on”.

7. PARKO: Good looks and an ass-eatin grin to go with. Likely that he scored huge with the local chicks. Question is if he could take it up to the next level and outside of surfing… I think he could if polished up his game.

6.) B-MAR: He’d score huge points if he’d role up to a contest with a smoking hot hoochie or Sista. The blond chick that looks like he found at a UCSB sorority aint bad… but I can only think what if.

5.) GREAT DANE: Huge potential with the flower mama’s and coffee shop chicks. Not an original approach by any means but time proven to be very effective… particularly in Central and No. Cal.

4.) BEDE: I’d love to spice up the dude’s image. Nothing really here other than he killed some heats in the first contest. Plus the tall quiet dudes also can be freaks in the bedroom. If I was a bettin man I’d say he’s probably packin the most downstairs of all the elite pro’s.

3.) FREDDY P. Definitely got the swagger. Appears that he can easily nail as many of the usual suspects and enough game and bling that he could score a smoking hot ghetto princess now and then.

2.) JORDY: The hair, the dumb music, the stardom…. He’s got all the ingredients to score all the dumb white chicks that he wants. Question is can he take it to the next level… Super-Models, A-listers, smoking hot Latina and Israeli chicks….. may have a ways to go here… but I’ll be rootin for him.

1) KING KELLY: No debate here. Only Leo cums before him.

16 03 2010
mark

what about doug silva?

17 03 2010
jordan landa

11. Bam..magine that fat brown belly slappin against his hot little japane girl..guess is he’s always gotta b on da bottom.
10. i would have to say parko is da est hung on tour..just look at da nose brah..woah.
9. freddie..small little needle disck..reference above..button nose= teeny weeny..
8. dane..total fag..well okay if u like we’ll do it like that.. i mean i’m not really tryiing to please u..i just hide in my bottles of booze and try not b as good as everyone thiinks i am cause i’m actually insecure n i’ll got 4 it big time but i will blow my wad b4 i get 2 the end..cause i don’t really care ANYWAY….
7. jordy..the crepy molester will just fuck the daylights out of anythiing because he is half animal..creepy creepy dude..probably stinks and has lice.
6. taj..the horney little overweight office guy..looks like he just got done eating a danish and decided to pork the secretary.. fat..double chins are always soooo sexy..oh yeah..nice fat white belly..umm.hmmm.
5.andy..oh god where do we even begin..what happened brah..that fat belly hangin out of your singlet at snapper should make lindie run for da hills..not a good look on a haole boy like u,,give me bruce with his chiseled abs any day..andy fat and smallest little button nose of all..u know the reference…
4.mick..good rig..good man..loyal..maybe a bit mad..but he’ awright..nice nose..
3. bobby..ghetto..come here me like sex…yeah
2. dustpan..my liiiitttle buttoon nose tow head..u really won’t stand a chance as a man..maybe cute as one liitle boy..but it is short live..unless u keep pumpin the roids like u have been..short lived..
1. OWEN..oh yeah..the savior..the big nose..the lanky one..woow..what a specimen..finally a real man to take it on..grow..owen..grow..bigger n bigger ..he is everything we need..the girls want him, lust him,,we are jealous but still in love with him and we all wish we could b him…oh what a ……nose..

17 03 2010
@ random

….. take away the one thing someone claims to hate and their life is useless dribble……

17 03 2010
Lord Eddie

When laird gets to the pearly gates god will greet him with

“YOU WERE NEVER EDDIE and the NORTH SHORE sucked”…..

Lairds reply ” I charged everything my entire life, with American Express”…

Tear down False idols………….. Rip Eddie…….

17 03 2010
Randomrandomness

In 2022 when VH1 runs its “I love the 00’s” series, LOST will be the show that we all look back on and laugh at ourselves for believing that they would somehow answer the 1,000,000 questions that we all have

17 03 2010
gogo

fuck you you fucking cunts i hate you all

17 03 2010
the lantern

Right cunts.some of you might know me from stab magazine.
This is my debut on nugable.Welcome to the lantern show.

1st of all. Where is that amazing left hander in the first photo? That’s the dream right there.
2nd that prick with the blond wig is the spookiest mofo i’ve ever seen.Not sure what he’s staring at but he looks like he’s getting ready to rape it.
3rd Those yellow tree monkeys have some potential.They are all flat as a tack.They need to be sent off to a plastic surgeon for some implants stat. front and back. Can’t you just see the dollar signs in their eyes?The little gold diggers have probably just left the village and upon being surrounded by the wealth and splendour of the billabong shin dig look like magpies preparing to line the nest.
4th. They gave the title to the wrong guy.boring top turns and floaters don’t deserve to win a world title.Sure his top turn might be remarkable but for christs sake mix it up a little.He should be fined by asp for boring the public.Parko on the other hand has a style smooth as silk and really deserved the title in 09.
5th Enough of the male model shots.Sure some crusty old cat lady would probably pleasure herself to this photo but that’s not your target audience. If you have to have a photo of a topless person frolicking in the shallows at the beach make sure it’s a chick next time.

vote 1 lantern

17 03 2010
mark

Please tell me that you are just visiting and not planning to stay.

The pecking order here is set and there are not enough set waves to go around if you get my drift “mate”.

17 03 2010
mark

and the picture of the dude on bottom is enoch ward and he will fucking SCHOOL YOU as soon as he wakes up Lantern.

17 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mark,
In all fairness to Mr. Lantern, we have sent Mike to the Southern Hemisphere for a little vacation, even if it is to a different land down under than the one inhabited by the newcomer, so maybe we can give him a wildcard here on Nugable until the flower child gets back. By then, who knows, he may have learned a trick or two and earned himself a spot in the line-up. Albeit at best a spot scrounging scraps on the inside with the groms, the weekend warriors and the other occasional blow-ins. Something tells me he’s going to find himself duct taped naked to a lamp post in the parking lot a few times while he’s here though. Figuratively speaking, of course!
Good luck, Mr. Lantern. No censorship here, but a lot of cynicism and taking the piss.
Any relation to the Green Lantern by the way? Quite a few of us are into comic books and fantasy role playing games around here… Dear Laird, I love the Justice League!

17 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Looks like D-Gudang is getting used to flying solo with the girls on the Grind, while his bros are learning the ropes getting waxed by the big boys on the Dream Tour. Who’s laughing now P & T ?

17 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Trauzer,
My cock is made of Kryptonite. Not even Superman can fuck with it!

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Mailman is right. This is not a miniature version of Da Hooey. We give and take in good fun. I welcome all new chimps who want to fling feces. Just make it count when you press “submit.”

And I’ll give everyone the benefit of the doubt the first time around. Nug took the reigns from Lewis Samuels and opened up a shop where a few of us could thrive without the cruel fist of tyranny constantly being hammered into the pates of our skulls. What we’ve come to expect around here are comments that are insightful, witty, intelligent, and occasionally lurid.

In other words – not what you’ll find on other surfing related blogs.

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

And I have to disagree with Mark. It is blasphemy to take upon one’s self the most holy image of The Laird. It says so in Mark’s Bible – in the book of Corinthian Leather, chapter five and verse eight.

Plus, Mark’s momma is so fat she has to apply soap to her nether regions using a mop with an extension rod.

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

But, I wouldn’t recommend pissing off Mark’s mom either. She may grab you by the pony tail and pull you into her holding tank.

17 03 2010
mark

@Lantern

He’s just warmin up bro.

17 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Enoch,
I’m off to the Swiss Alps for a few days of yodeling, hot mulled wine and cunning linguist commentary at the Verbier Xtreme (ski and snowboard version of The Eddie). Keep an eye on things while I’m away. I’d ask Mike to do it, but he’s already got his hands full dodging indigenous rugby players in unnamed line-ups down south!
Be strong and good luck!
DM
PS: Did I mention that sexy snow bunny Julia Mancuso will be competing? http://www.juliamancuso.com

17 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Damn! According to CNN, Fiji just got ruined by some cyclone killer named Tomas, and another tropical storm rider named Ului is trying to kill the entire coastal population between Cairns and Brisbane, Australia with dangerous surf! Of course, that’s nothing compared to the havoc occasionally wreaked on unsuspecting innocents by Mark’s Mom and his dog Eddie…

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Bon voyage Mailman!

The things I would do to Julia Mancuso if she was mysteriously knocked out with chloroform and chained to the radiator in my basement cannot be written with mere words. I will only divulge this:

It would involve an ottoman, a lute-playing minstrel with small feet, a chord of bacon, three toasters, a vat of moose lips, and lots of strained breathing.

The breathing part would be optional. Of course.

17 03 2010
Dave Mailman

EW,
Of course!
I’ll let you know if anything even slightly resembling your chloroform fantasy goes down in the Alpine peaks!
Au revoir mon frère!

17 03 2010
Peter Perfect

Mailman, Verbier Xtreme? Gay. Steep, icy, but gayer than Enoch Ward dancing at a tea party.
Speaking of such things, why did they airbrush Layne Beachley and her big black dildo thrusting into her ex-bi-friend as he did a push-up in the sand?

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I’ll let that one slip past the goalie, PeterPerfect. But is it as gay as Alex Knost riding a motorcycle?

Ye gods!

17 03 2010
billy fever

YES! that’s what I like to see… uncensored comment mayhem. Those pricks over at stabmag.com delete everything I post. Cunts. Same at followthefish.tv. That might have something to do with me calling fish a lowlife retard marginally more intelligent and entertaining than trent from punchbowl.

fight the machine!

17 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

That is enough about bacon and Mancuso. Let talk something moister, saltier, more satisfying. What I’m getting at is Jamon and X-Games gold medalist Sarah Burke. Click my name. Now we are talking. Yes, yes we are.

In a related comment, Mailman, what is with the perving? It’s like you’re already married! Congratulations, man!

17 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

PS, I told you Peter Perfect would be back. And look at that, right on time!

PPS, Mailman, there is no Eddie of skiing and snowboarding. You have your choice of lines at Verbier, and there are two dozen other comps just like it. And if you are going to even try to make a big-wave-surfing / extreme skiing comparison, you had better be talking Alaska, not Europe.

17 03 2010
Manfred Von Hefferteets

My advice to Lantern and any other Newbs wanting to post here is thus:

Read the past few months worth of comments threads to familiarize yourself with what we do around here. If it seems too off-putting and sour to your stale taste-buds, then I would suggest moving along to more fertile pastures at Surfline or Stab.

Otherwise, if you enjoy some rancorous humor and shovel-loads of shit-talking, then this may be your destined home.

Welcome!

**cocksuckers**

17 03 2010
Might I Suggest...

that we here at Nugable are above localism? We welcome everyone who paddles out and gets it done.

Now, of course, if you get stuck in the lip on a set wave, or burn Trauzersnake, well, you’re on your own.

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Jamon,

Ahhh, Sarah Burke. Thank you for the link.

For the chance to be run over by her grade school bus driver, I would fist an armada of Ethiopian monks while straddling Layne Beachley’s 14” cock during the Summer Solstice in Ecuador. I would do many other things as well, but my arm is sore from fwapping like a Down Syndrome child who just saw his first female with a sockless foot… so typing has become a burden I am not willing to bear at this moment.

17 03 2010
Might I Suggest...

About time EW got his own quote:

“‘There was no doubt that this poor man was mad, but there is something in the madness of this man which interests me more than the sanity of Lord Byron and Walter Scott.”

17 03 2010
buccaneer

I don’t know why I’m up this late watching this qs bullshit but steroid Fandroid just got the worst overscoring I have ever seen in the round of 48! Complete joke,and the fucking annoucers got to be taken out and shot! I don’t know how they can even talk with their tounges up Fannings ass.Worthless!

21 03 2010
stu

Buccaneeer – site of Mark’s new, but short-lived sandbar? Weeeee!

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I grew bored before retiring for the evening, and left this comment at Stab regarding some trite garbage about that Machado debacle:

(Assuming there was a steady afternoon sun bathing their leathery faces)… “did Derek rest his pint-sized cock and balls upon Rob’s forehead during that interview?

No.

This is not your typical homosexual comment.

It’s just that the tan lines on Rob’s forehead are suspicious to say the least.

Also, that would mean Derek’s taint had quite the workout on Rob’s nubbin.

Not that I would judge such things.”

I would imagine that this tame, yet poignant fact, will go unpublished by the Stab Gestapo. It warms my heart that they continue to dig their own grave with homemade weapons of hypocrisy and faux rebellion.

Cheers!

17 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@buccaneer,

I haven’t watched a minute of whichever contest you are watching, but I can already picture every turn. The lines are tight, critical and methodical. And therein lies the problem.

It doesn’t lie with Mick.

It lies within the system itself.

I am rooting for Mick to win every single contest, WCT or QS, from here on out. He is the new John Gault. Let us see whether the ASP shrugs.

18 03 2010
the lantern

Welcome back to the lantern show

Well mark, it seems you where wrong about enoch.he didn’t really ‘school me’ seems the only person on here that was wary of the lantern was you.I understand if your threatened by the lanterns shining light.The lantern is an alpha male.Every pond is a small pond for the lantern.The lantern is powerful.
@manfred………I just read a few articles and the related comments and already found this site quite to my liking.I’m just here to write politically incorrect witty anecdotes and commentary and not see the dreaded ‘your comment has been saved for review’ after i post my comment.
Up until a month or so ago the lantern was cutting sick on stab.I was making a lot of friends (sarcasm)
Then they had the whole icah wilmot debacle. Jed went softer than a cafe mincing latte sipper from bondi overdosed on shakespear and vogue fashion and started censoring everything.
@ dave mailman. I’ve got nothing to do with the green lantern. i’m THE lantern.
The lantern won’t be taking any place with the groms and blow ins.the lantern is commentary royalty and insists on catching the best set waves.
@enoch ward.Your JOB analogies are fkn hilarious spruce goose wingspan.lol.That guys a deluded fool. rabbits on about drug free lifestyles, yet romps around parties with the legal child killing drug (yes a 17 year old european grom died from red bull overdose on the bball court) red bull.You can’t tell me drinking a whole pitcher of red bull wouldn’t not give u the same sensation as a line of white powder.The lantern once drank 2 red bulls when he needed to take a long distance drive and the lil bastards gave him heart palpatations.
Energy drinks are the modern day coffin nail sponsorshit money for athletes.
@ jordan landa. Your description of taj is amazing. hahahahahaha. taj owns part of stab so the rumour has it,,,,, even before stab went completly comment censoring crazy they would delete any comments that suggested taj burrow enjoys underage girls a little to much.stab once had an article about taj burrows new years eve party and it had a grip of photos of underage girls being interviewed and molested by a crew of dirty old wizards and sexual harrasment pandas.
The article was up for less than 24 hours before it was deleted.Guessing tb rang up and told them to hide the photographic evidence.Photos of 15 year old girls drinking liquor on his premises could get him into some serious trouble. There would have been some outrageous pedafiling going on that night. Dirty little double chinned office man and his troop of outback wizards. I”m amazed he hasn’t been locked up yet.

vote 1 lantern

18 03 2010
T

is that the sound of hands clapping?

18 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Owen Wright is the Mick Fanning of airs.

18 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Owen Wright is my next-generation sleep aid. When struggling with bouts of insomnia, and really needing the zzzzz’s to get me through to breakfast, I used to watch the Fanndroid.

Now I watch Owen. Same difference.

18 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

But if you could somehow combine the two of them, that might really be something. Like putting Sarah Burke’s body on Rachel McAdams. ooooh. Scuse me, gotta go…

18 03 2010
Randomrandomness

Is there anything more potentially funny than “unwarranted optimism”? The “you can do it” crowd is at its best when it can’t be done. Sometimes a dog just won’t hunt. But I love it when I’m there for a S.I.G.W. (Self inflicted gunshot wound) I can picture General George Armstrong Custer turning to the 7th Cav at Little Bighorn & asking “how hard can it be?” Moral of this story? You gotta know when to eject.

18 03 2010
Might I Suggest...

…that the lantern is full of gas. And himself.

18 03 2010
mark

Lantern’s 2 comment heat total so far is 9.7 max.

Thought u were gonna BRING IT Lantern?

Nuthin over a 5 in my eyes.

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I get the feeling that The Lantern has a medicine cabinet chock full of Ritalin and Adderall.

And perhaps some anal lube.

18 03 2010
ed

I´ve pictured Bruno

18 03 2010
pu in sai

the lantern is dim at best,although with a little enoch ward kerosene he may light it up. you guys are some seasoned commenting vets, this rookie will get a few 33rds before finding his voice,unfortunately the one world rankings wil be in effect by that time and he’ll be sent back to the minors, ie stab. I saw the lanterns plea for a new uncensored platform from a stab comment and sent him your way,

I wonder what EW’s medicine cabinet looks like? Lot’s of little orange bottles with long words on them. I keep my medicine in a mason jar to keep it fresh,

18 03 2010
Kurt Loader

The comments at Stab come mainly from those that inhabit that massive land mass down under. As such, their commentary and those that moderate it, reflect a collective IQ equaling the total number of hemorrhoids in Mark’s mother’s derriere.

And now that JO’B has moved there. That number has dwindled from 6 to 5.

(JO’B himself is actually pretty smart… but being from Hawaii automatically reduces your total IQ to levels 10 points – medical fact).

18 03 2010
Kurt Loader

I just typed, “your total IQ to levels 10 points…”

Therefore, I must be Hawaiian.

18 03 2010
Might I Suggest...

…that while the lantern does a better job of talking about how good he is, than actually being that good, he nonetheless is quite proficient at pressing the “thumb up” button on his own stuff and the “thumb down” button on those who are not impressed with his work.

So, that’s a start…

18 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Lantern,

Welcome to our party. As a welcoming gift, please accept the following nylon mesh bag of advice nuggets:

1) Promise less, deliver more. THE basic rule of life. For example, if you paddle out at a new break, generally it’s best not to yell “I fuckin’ rip, fools! Watch me ride this breaker!!!”

2) Use all three letters when writing the word “you.” Trust me on this.
2a) These are comments, not text messages. Punctuate and capitalize, at least occasionally.

3) When considering what meal really counts, always remember that without breakfast, the day is generally a waste.

Now, please make your way to the punchbowl. On second thought, both Enoch and Trauzersnake have been loitering in that general vicinity. They are pretending not to be wiping some kind of powder off their hands while watching intently. So, um, on second thought, just crack a fresh cold one…take it from Mailman’s stash, he’s pretty accommodating.

18 03 2010
trauzersnake

Kurt Loader….hehehe. luv ya already mate. I think Lantern will fit in just fine around here, once he gets his butthole stretched out a bit. EW???

18 03 2010
buccaneer

I for one welcome the lantern. Anything is better than calibammysmyrnajokemightisuggestfuckingwhateverphonybullshitdowadiddy I here from whoever that dickwad is. GAAAAACK!

18 03 2010
dickwad

@bucanner

please don’t group mark and smyrna with “might i suggest”.

just sayin they aren’t the same person.

18 03 2010
Might I Suggest...

…that dickwad is right? But now we must ask ourselves, “How did he know that?”

There is only one logical conclusion: Mark, you are a Dickwad.

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

In more important news today:

A man who would only identify himself as Thteve Nuuuuug was apprehended by authorities whilst wandering aimlessly along the boardwalk between Mags and The River today. Witnesses say he was hurling such homophobic remarks at passing as, “Yurrr tho fucken gay in thooth rollahblaydz that even PeterPerfect’s cack would pothibly go flathid.” The recipients of the epithets only scoffed, saying “there was nothing more gay than anything associated with the name PenisPerfect.”

Other eyewitness accounts were more poignant. Elwood, a San Diego County local who had just exited the water after tucking into a few freshly-groomed, moist tunnels had this to say: “This deranged dude calling himself ‘THEEEEE Nuuuuuug, was stumbling around in a cloud of whiskey and cigarette stench while mumbling something about Jed Smith’s single ball being unable to withstand the weight of freedom… and something about Chas Smith being hung like a mollusk. It was all hard to discern amongst the shattering glass of all the Zima bottles he left in his wake.”

A third witness, who only identified herself through short bursts of pressurized water, summarized thusly: “I wanted to eat him. Nug. I eat him now! Need. Food. Stat. Getinmybellymu’fucka. PLEASE!? YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD I HAVEN’T EATEN ANYTHING IN SEVEN MINUTES AND MY BOWELS YEARN FOR YOUR TINY BICEP STEAKS!!!!11! DON’T MAKE ME GO SHAMU ON YO’ ASS, BEEEYOTCH.” The appalled interviewer then asked her identity, and she promptly, and politely stated, “Oh honey, my name is LeMarksmom of Locksley.”

I guess the moral of this shoe-horned InsideTheGoldmine-esque feculent diatribe is this: We should all pray to our dearest Laird Jesus for the safety our leader tonight. May he return again to us safely.

Drugs = Bad.

Alcohol = Good.

The waves yesterday in Whorange County = überfun.

May his muse tickle his typewriter soon.

And I don’t mean that in a gay way.

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Okay.

Slightly gay. But no cuddling.

Just fondeling.

I am done now.

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Obviously, I did not think through or edit my story before posting.

So save the literary comments.

And fuck you, and all that you love.

Seriously.

18 03 2010
buccaneer

Enoch you own it,whatever it is.Laird I’m drunk for as usual a San Diego sport team loses again.But damn what a season of waves down here! I am so surfed-out it is stupid or I am or both.OY!

18 03 2010
hubert Von Kafein

@ The Lantern

I won’t stay, don’t be afraid! You’ll recognize me for sure. So funny, you left stab and their stupid policy for sure…And here you are, with a bunch of guys telling you how to behave, and don’t do this, and please do that, and may I suggest…
It’s more than policy, it’s religion! Those guys are trying to be funny, and they end up preaching. Good luck to you, but I suggest you should create your own site!

PS: as an example, a guy is cracking joke with aussies IQ…Can you imagine an american talking about IQ! There you are…

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Hubert:

“… as an example, a guy is cracking joke with aussies IQ…Can you imagine an american talking about IQ!”

If you are from OZ, then… well, it’s impossible for you to tell… riiiight???

18 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Oh, we’re not trying to be funny. Saving souls is serious business. Just ask Monsignor Trauzersnake.

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Jamon,

I won’t pick a fight with an Australian.

It’s in the Special Olympics rulebooks: “Thou shalt not embrace the cuckhold of the Neanderthals. For they have subsisted for hundreds of years in their own habitat under the careful scrutiny of many botanists, and the verdict of these doctors is thus:

Theirs is a Petri dish ripe with false bravado and Tom Selleck mustaches. Homogenized homoeroticism sold as OutBack Steakhouse originality. Long and rugged coastlines clogged with marginalized almost-pro’s with names similar to Dave Rastovich trying to save their own portion of a doomed planet. And a man named Jed Smith, whose touch with reality was lost when he touched his fist pube at the age of seventeen.

Furthermore, the Sydney Oprah House is nostalgia when compared to Calatrava’s work in Tenerife.

And THAT, is just a fact.

18 03 2010
Enoch Ward

For the retards that may still roam amongst us:

Step off!

G’Night.

19 03 2010
billy fever - stab defector

some veteran commentors in here. nothing like a good commenting beatdown.

oi… Enoch Ward yours comments are off the hook brah. Should get over to followthefish.tv and rip into the cunt for me. Its obvious you’re a gentleman of considerable intellect… I’d be offended that that fish retard is lowering the standards and taking evolution of the human species back a few centuries. Since when did people start paying attention to village idiots? The cunt should be drawn and quartered.

19 03 2010
T

@ #11

Cory has a showdown with Sunny, any picks????

22 03 2010
sheapez #11 SHE

Been out of the country searching for greener pastures that this washed up old pro can carve up. I missed the comp but obviously Cory beet Sunny and Wardo. Pretty stoked for my little bro’! Hopefully he will make the cut at the halfway point so we can dissect his every unscripted turn. Should be fun to watch.

19 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

@EW,

Or, to put your rationale in the terms of, oh, say, Roy Batty:

“Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent.”

19 03 2010
LMFAO

Recently posted on the Stab Main Page (bear in mind, this is the same editorial staff that has to apologize for racially retarded and simple-minded articles, and take down posts depicting underage girls – on what seems like a routine basis):

“Re: Comment moderation
You may have noticed Stabmag.com has been moderating its comments. While we are all for democratic debate, a small thread of idiocy on our forums has forced us to place all articles under the watchful eye of our masked moderator. We’re into healthy debate, incisive criticism, good humour and sometimes even ill-informed hatred of the site’s authors. Slanderous allegations, poorly-phrased sexual innuendo and pointless hatred will be politely left at the door, however.”

I just love that they start with the phrase “while we are all for democratic debate…” before listing everything they will not tolerate. They can’t even phrase their comment about moderation in an accurate manner.

They should have just said, “We are Pol Pot and you are the Kmher people. If you don’t leave a comment that’s as homogenized as Mick Fanning’s surfing and blows donkey testicles, then we are going to bury your comment in a field full of similar comments. Just leave it to our editors to blow off our own toes with articles about underage girls and people of color. After all, we know what is best.”

19 03 2010
ed

well.. that´s democracy man.. those with power telling the rest all the do´s and dont´s..

just perfectly working like a well lubricated machine

and to ilustrate..
if one chooses to do a don´t and don´t do a do

19 03 2010
ed

repeat it after me…

19 03 2010
Elwood

And to think that Lantern hasn’t even met Mike yet.

@ EW… I’ll bet ya a couple set waves at Swami’s that Bede is packin a buck or two more than Parko.

19 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I would think that since Bede is Fijian, he is probably packing heat down yonder. Being the cultured man that I am, I have seen a few nude Pacific Islander’s in the National Geographic magazines and I would say that, generally speaking, the Laird has endowed them with healthy appendages.

So, I’ll grant you that set at Swami’s.

I would bet a 1992 Wave Tools thruster that steroids have left Neco with a package that resembles a pin worm burying itself between two hard-bioled eggs.

19 03 2010
Enoch Ward

And trust me, you don’t want to know what a “hard-bioled” egg looks like.

19 03 2010
kampion, hynd, warshaw and hawk

we miss Mike.

19 03 2010
Things that make me go Hmmmmm

Interesting how this Lantern fellow mysteriously appears out of nowhere one day after Mike goes on a month long surf trip.

Could Lantern really be………????

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

19 03 2010
TUPAT

You guys have ashit load of time to keep up with all this, that is awesome.

21 03 2010
stu

not everyone can be a busy surf photog. NSB is pumping bro, get on it!

19 03 2010
Elwood

Hmmmmmmmm…

A solid south swell in the middle of March… Our Laird and Savior couldn’t possibly be sending us a sign that this summer is gonna be as good as this winter.

19 03 2010
billy fever - stab defector

This Mike guy sounds like a gentleman.

Can everyone go over to followthefish.tv and tell the guy he is a rotten kook.

19 03 2010
Perkus Tooth

I should’ve figured you pole-smoking Pygmalions would turn to discussing your crushes’ cocks in my absence.

19 03 2010
smyrnajeff

agree with perkus the cock talk is a bit too much.

and why is elwood so infatuated with pro manhood? you are fuckin gross bro.

no wonder you never found mark’s sandbar you were too busy checkin fannings package on the internet.

p.s. dave hart of j-ville is hung like a fucking STALLION!!!!

19 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Perhaps Perkus’ absence of cock has more to do with his crush on PeterPerfect?

19 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@billy fever,

The Fish is a spectacle of glint upon an afro-pick wedged into a nubile Michael Jackson afro. It amuses at first. You want to poke it. Look at it. Laugh at it. But instead of discovering rich scalp-meat as you tunnel towards the core, you only find more and more hair.

After some time, this accumulation of hair clogs my throat, cuts off my oxygen, and eventually impairs my ability to laugh.

I still think Fish is entertaining as anything you’ll see in a surfing interview these days. Picture him replacing the insufferable cockwad that is GT, and you have instant success. Picture him doing EVERY interview after a heat, and you have the corpse of a horse that was beaten with Perkus Tooth’s swollen prostate for seventeen straight days.

Think of it this way: Fish is the ‘Stuttering John’ of our little, handicapped surfing world.

19 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@TUPAT,

When I was wrapping up my senior year of college, a part-time live-in girlfriend insisted on bringing her autistic cat to my apartment somewhere along the coast of El Salvador. The assinine cat would spew its ungodly fluids on anything it didn’t recognize. My fucking shrink-wrapped copy of the VHS original ‘Tron’ movie bit the dust to that liquid ambush. Some would say that I was more pissed than that wretched feline.

Bottom line.

Please… don’t be that cat.

20 03 2010
Perkus Tooth

And by ‘part-time live-in girlfriend’, you are referring to the decomposing carcass of a sea-lion you called Samantha, which you dressed in a pink leotard and paraded around your living room?

20 03 2010
the lantern

Fishtales is the worst excuse for a human being from Australia. Germany has Hitler. America has Bush. England has 98% of it’s population and Australia has fishhead.
His attitude towards women and sex is downright vulgar. They say that the people that brag a lot about how much pussy they get are the ones that hardly get any action that doesn’t involve a bottle of lube and a wanking dock.Fishhead fits the bill. What about how he’s out gallivanting around the globe giving Australians a bad reputation.He’s hammed up the aussie accent to the point where it sounds like he has a speech impediment.I’m Australian and I can hardly understand his slurred drawl at times.Thanks to him and other alcoholic piece of shit bogan Australians that go traveling these days Australians are starting to get a bad reputation on the traveling circuit.Ten years ago People where happy to hear someone was from Australia.Now we’re in the same basket as loud mouth obnoxious Americans and whinging poms.
Fishhead and other redneck plebs such the Harrington twins and wade g are unfortunately idolized by grommets.some role model for the youth.What are reef thinking?
Other than the heinous attitude towards life lets take a moment to ponder fishheads physical attributes as a boardshorts/sandal footwear model.Fishhead has the worst hair ever, a big unsightly boof of fluff that looks like Kramer got out on the wrong side of bed.What about that tomahawk of a nose?That things bigger than his little white worm.I expect that the only girls that would fuck that roughnut would be loose bar bangers that would demand 12 inches of steel for full satisfaction. Upon seeing fishheads drug withered appendage he’s probably had many a slut give up on his lackluster pork sword and jump on to his nose for a bit of clitoral stimulation. A girls got to get off somehow. Those teeth,so big, so yellow.Do they glow in the dark?Not a very good backdrop for a thin bloodless pair of lips.The beady little eyes.So heartless,so jaded.not a shred of human decency to be found. This troglodyte never heard of suncream and moisturizer,his skins as dry as learther and scaley like the cold blooded reptile he is,stomach covered in a rug of unsightly hair and bloated into the beer gut of a man ten years his senior.Looks like the pricks got a yeast infection.
Does this sound like a good poster child for a company wanting to hawk boardshorts and sandals?This drug fucked moron is a mascot for everything that is wrong with the youth of Australia.Sure a few delinquent youths and surfer bogans might be impressed by his antics but as a global company he’s sure as hell not going to impress the majority of the target market.I’m amazed that with such poor judgment reef has enjoyed so much success.
Reef make some good footwear but I won’t be buying any tell they get fid of fishhead.

Boycott reef and vote 1 lantern
p/s I’ve never once laughed at any of fishheads efforts.The only thing that made me laugh was that photo at followthefish.tv where his widgety grub is hanging out and it’s about 3 inches.
One last thing. He surfs like a downright kook.

Burn

20 03 2010
Chuck Buckets

yawwwnnn, come on Lantern,you’re just jeaolous. Fish is funnier than you,and I’d wager my 6’6 he surfs better than you. Surfing and chasing chicks and partying is as much a part of surfing as anythging, Fish is classic, and until I see thelantern.com, you’re just another hater. You’re probaly another one of those little aussie v-neck, tight pant, emo wanna be pretenders. Anyway,keep it up, your fodder is the catalyst for EW’S glue that will eventually seal those chapped lips of yours.

How was Kerr’s 10? pretty sick! The one world rankings are making the 6stars miini CT’s and I for 1like it!

20 03 2010
smyrnajeff

Remember that song by Willie Nelson?

Turn out the Lantern the party’s over?

My sentiments exactly.

20 03 2010
20 03 2010
the lantern

haha

That link above is so funny given stabs recent hypocritical statement regarding censorship.

Re: Comment moderation

You may have noticed Stabmag.com has been moderating its comments. While we are all for democratic debate, a small thread of idiocy on our forums has forced us to place all articles under the watchful eye of our masked moderator. We’re into healthy debate, incisive criticism, good humour and sometimes even ill-informed hatred of the site’s authors. Slanderous allegations, poorly-phrased sexual innuendo and pointless hatred will be politely left at the door, however.

Seems they have put their foot in the fire yet again.LOL.

(In it, Fanning is quoted as calling Smith a ”f—ing Jew” four times, including: ”You totally f—ing write off surfing and then you make money off surfing.

”You’re a f—ing Jew.”

The matter was discussed at a NSW Jewish Board of Deputies meeting on Tuesday night after community members raised their distress with chief executive Vic Alhadeff.)

Seems fanning arian looking frosted tips make him the perfect poster child for anti sematic banter.I can hear hitler clapping for the grave.

What pisses the lantern off about this is the fucking jews have a board of deputies to discuss when people are being racist.Oh for a return to the days when freedom of speech reigned supreme and people just said what ever they wanted with out having various minority groups having a fucking sook and causing a big fiasco over nothing.It’s because people listen to the PC brigade that they have so much power.The more somebody acts like a whiney little bitch the more power they get and it shouldn’t be that way.It’s like the antelope becoming king of the jungle. It goes against the laws of nature. What this world needs is a lantern for total world domination.The lantern just needs an army and then he will stop asking for your vote and seize power 🙂

20 03 2010
the lantern

Just thought i’d share this heart warming borat song with you folk

In my country there is problem,
And that problem is transport.
It take very very long,
Because Kazakhstan is big.

[Chorus 1:]
Throw transport down the well (repeat line)
So my country can be free (repeat line)
We must make travel easy (repeat line)
Then we’ll have a big party (repeat line)

[Verse 2:]
In my country there is problem
And that problem is the Jew
They take everybody money
And they never give it back

[Chorus 2:]
Throw the jew down the well (repeat line)
So my country can be free (repeat line)
You must grab him by his horns (repeat line)
Then we have a big party (repeat line)

[Verse 3:]
If you see the Jew coming
You must be carefull of his teeth
You must grab him by his money
And I tell you what to do

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@The Lantern,

I would suggest that you fine tune your Blitzkrieg of gaseous Wehrmacht humor. Namely, don’t use crayons when scrawling your template for world domination – as they tend to melt when exposed to an asshole of power.

TWO World War loses should have taught you that by now.

Don’t make it three.

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

You see how I did that?

I blended gaseous with asshole, while drawing a comparison between your comments and the perennial losers in World Wars.

Please don’t make your next joke about the Japanese and their small dicks and squinty eyes or I will have to physically fuck you in the ass with Jamie O’Brien’s upper lip.

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Speaking of ‘Upper Lips’, when was the last time that word was uttered during the Bells contest?

20 03 2010
the lantern

An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese bloke said to him, “I am sick of seeing your big round eyes.”

The Australian replied, “Put on a blind fold.”

The Japanese man asked, “Where do I get one?

The Australian then said, “Here take my shoe lace.”

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

A Japanese man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when an Australian bloke said to him, “I can’t find any more vegemite at the local market.”

The Japanese man responded, “Here, eat this blind fold.”

The Australian asked, “What for?”

The Japanese man then said, “It’s just my soiled underwear.”

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

An Australian walked into a bar and ordered a Jack n’ water.

The Japanese bartender said, “that’ll be $3.57.”

The Australian said, “Oy, mate… I don’t have a proper job to pay fer that… and furthermore, whatdefuck’s a three fifty seven??”

The Japanese man pulled out his revolver and shot the Australian in the head.

The end.

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Thank you. I’ll be here all night.

Oh. Wait.

We were supposed to cut and paste our jokes here?

Damn. Creativity?

-1.

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I guess my point is this:

You can’t really pick on Australians. They are just so damn friendly and happy all the time.

I once raped an Australian with a didgeridoo lined with poison-tipped Koala claws, and massaged the open wound with the exhumed remains of the sting ray that fatefully struck Steve Irwan… and the bloke just politely thanked me after the awkeward affair and toasted me on my new appointment to the Bishop’s position at my local Catholic Church.

20 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I coulde keepe goinge butte thee alkeeholee ise takinge here blessede effectse.

e.

21 03 2010
the lantern

@enoch ward
That’s a very imaginitive didgeredoo rape party.
I hope the victim was kieran perrow.The lantern hates that guy and considers him the worst surfer on tour.
Who the fuck drinks jack with water?

vote 1 lantern

21 03 2010
t

no need for new posts with lantern here???

21 03 2010
skud

just noticed something funny and possibly telling on the Fantasy Surfer website. if you go to the dashboard and mouse over the events to the Rip Curl search event, it says “To Be Announced – Bahamas”

don’t know if that’s some kinda typo or silly oversight, or if it really means the search is headed for the Bahamas. i for one would be damn surprised if that were the case. i know there’s waves there, east coasters (mainly Floridians) have been surfing on Eleuthera and The Abacos/Elbow Cay for decades, and there’s plenty of surf scattered throughout the islands, but as far as it being “world class”? unless Rip Curl found something that decades of desperately wave-starved Floridians couldn’t…

which is another point to bring up. although holding markedly better surf than Florida, it’s only marginally more consistent.

my bet is the search will go down at Soupbowls in Barbados, with a far outside chance of Puerto Rico, and some dumbass over at Fantasy Surfer is too stoned to realize that “The Bahamas” is not a synonym for “The Caribbean”

21 03 2010
Mike

The Lantern????? Too bad he doesn’t illuminate much, does he? Guess Stab has to rely on “Annonymous” from now on.

Funny to read the crew, off to have some fun again today.

Jammy, Whanga is a teasing bitch!

Another funny post Nug, smells like home

21 03 2010
Mike

@Lantern 6:53… maybe I was wrong about you, reads pretty funny, but you sir are no Mark.

Aloha Callibammy

21 03 2010
ButSeriouslyNow...

@ skud: no doubt a dumbass mistake at Fantasy Surfer. They’ve been fucking up on locations east of the Mississipp for decades and not just because they’re stoned. Stoned and ig’nant more like it. But, like coming upon 50 car train wreck ( or In Gods Hands ), I can’t stop looking at / reading this blog so what the frick does that make me ??
Hopefully they’ll hold it at Soups ( doubtful as that place goes to insta-shit at the slightest scent of tradewinds ) and The Search / Ripcurl will not go and completely ass fuck and expose one one of the many beautiful and excellent waves that are found in either in the Caribe or Bahamas …

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Without the Lantern, there can be no darkness.

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Lantern,

Btw, what is your favorite dinosaur?

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

“The Search / Ripcurl will not go and completely ass fuck and expose one one of the many beautiful and excellent waves that are found in either in the Caribe or Bahamas”

Nope. No way. They’re a corporation so zero chance. Zip. None whatsoever. Mexicosayswhat? Zelch. Nada.

What was the question again?

21 03 2010
the lantern

The lanterns favorite dinosaur would have to be good old T-rex. The name brings back humourous memories of days long past.
RAH! I”m T-Rex” is what some very strange young man used to mutter to people in my youth and i found it highly amusing.Yay for crazy people.They have such comedic brilliance and yet are blissfully unaware of the fact.
Why do you ask Mr Ward?It’s kind of a random question.

Vote 1 lantern

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@The Lantern,

I really enjoy dinosaurs. Their mysterious legacy and immense size remind me of the greatest lover I ever had… Mark’s mother.

That, and they make my pantaloons glow in the dark when I turn out the Lantern at night-night time.

21 03 2010
Anklyosaurus

Fuck you, Lantern. I crush you with my bludgeon tail.

21 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Enough of this. Tonight I offer the first in a series of Blade Runner quotes that relate to our beloved Mark.

“I was quit when I come in here. I’m twice as quit now.” -Deckard

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Mike: Proud of yourself, little man?

**Mike take’s the gun out of Mark’s hand**

Mike: This is for your mother!

**He breaks one of Mark’s fingers**

Mike: This is for the Republican Party!

**He breaks another one of Mark’s fingers, puts the gun back into his hand and lets him go**

Mike: C’mon, Mark. I’m right here, but you’ve gotta shoot straight!

**Mark shoots through the hole in the wall and blows one of Mike’s ears off**

Mike: Straight doesn’t seem to be good enough! Now it’s my turn! I’m going to give you a few seconds before I cum.

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Mike: Mark’s a replicant, isn’t he?

Nug: I’m impressed. How many questions does it usually take to spot them?

Mike: I don’t get it, Nug.

Nug: How many questions?

Mike: Twenty, thirty, cross-referenced.

Nug: It took more than a hundred for Mark, didn’t it?

Deckard: [realizing Mark believes he’s straight] He doesn’t know.

Nug: He’s beginning to suspect, I think.

Mike: Suspect? How can Mark not know he is gay?

21 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

“My mother? Let me tell you about my mother.” -Leon Kowalski

21 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

@EW (18:20): SOTFLMFAOASUG&T (seizuring on the floor laughing my fucking ass off and spitting up gin & tonic)

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Lmfao @ Jamon 18:22

Fuckin’ genious!! I’m crying right now… you sunuvabitch! You beat me to the best ‘Mark’s Mom’ quote of the movie.

I quit!!!

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Okay, let’s calm down now and try not to devour each other’s cocks too quickly before Chas Smith and Derek Reilly turn up for the gay orgy.

**still lol’ing like a schoolgirl**

21 03 2010
trauzersnake

this just isn’t fun anymore. I quit.

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

[Mick Fanning wants The ASP to extend his lifespan]

ASP: Would you… like to be upgraded?

Fanning: I had in mind something a little more radical.

ASP: What… what seems to be the problem?

Fanning: Things above the lip of the wave.

ASP: Progressive surfing; ah, well that’s a little out of my jurisdiction. You…

Fanning: I want more life, fucker!

21 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Enoch: Mark
Mark: [in a gruff voice] Yeah?
Enoch: [shows Lewis his Fake ASP ID] I’d like to ask you a few questions.
Mark: [half-whispered to a shemale named Caligirl sitting next to him] Blow.
[Shemale gets up from the stool and leaves]
Enoch: You ever burn Trauzersnake at Cardiff, Mark?
Mark: [sarcasticly] All the time, pal.
Enoch: [shows Mark a photo of Karl Rove on an SUP] You ever see this cat, huh?
Mark: Never seen him. Buzz off.
Enoch: You ever wanna get a wave at Newbreak again?
Mark: [suddenly changing his demeanor, he speaks to the bartender] Hey, Mike. The man is dry. Give him one on the house, okay? [smiles at Enoch] See?

21 03 2010
ed

bla bla blah…
yehh

whatever

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Ed,

That was irrational of you… not to mention unsportsmanlike. You stop right were you are. You know the score pal, if you’re not smart, you’re little people.

Them’s the rules.

21 03 2010
Enoch Ward

If I had to wager a few of Lantern’s shekels, then I would guess that he would fail an empathy test. You know, the capillary dilation of the so-called blush response? Fluctuation of the pupil. Involuntary dilation of the iris…

… the part that says, “shit, I done got me waste deep in the mucky muck and there be no life preservers to latch onto.”

22 03 2010
Bondi sucks

AI out of Bells with a shoulder injury after an incident with a bouncer at a Mickey Avalon gig? Anyone in the know?

22 03 2010
ed

I thought a lot about it though.. I mean.. to write those words…quite rational then..
some just don´t have the good working brains

22 03 2010
YEAH!!!!

EVERY TROLL FROM SAN DIEGO TO SAN FRAN IS WAKING UP WITH HEALTH INSURANCE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!

@MAILMAN- PLEASE, PLEASE, start a blog decribing how to become an expat. I WANT OUT!!!!

Everyone stayin here, just keep following a blackman and dumbass white woman to the end!!!!

22 03 2010
the lantern

@ mailman – Everyone likes to hear the banter of an ex-pat. Where are you hiding out mailman? Well if you don’t want to start a blog like @ YEAH!!! suggests maybe you could drop an essay right here in this forum.

Vote 1 lantern

22 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Way to go Lantern. Ya killed The Nug. You probably killed Lewis Samuels too. Why didn’t you cuddle up to Jed Smith instead?

Now, what are the monkey’s to do?

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