Catching Up with Shea Lopez

11 03 2010
After spending more than a decade on tour, Florida's Shea Lopez is enjoying post-tour life. Photo:

After spending more than a decade on tour, Shea Lopez is enjoying post-tour life at home in Florida. Photos: Anthony Ghiglia

What are you up to these days?
Getting back to who I was before I got sucked into the Dream Tour; that is living in Florida, spending time with my family and surfing whenever and wherever the waves are good.

I noticed that you have become a pundit for Fantasy Surfer. Does that make you the ultimate surf geek? 
I was always the ultimate surf geek. Growing up on the west coast of Florida, I was an outsider looking in from the very beginning. Surfer and Surfing Magazine opened my dreams to a world of waves out there. My father allowed me to follow those dreams. Now with the experience I’ve gained over the years, I’ll be attempting to bring an insider’s perspective to everyone playing Fantasy Surfer. I guess you could say I’ve come full circle.

You realize team Nugable is going to crush you this year don’t you? 
After my indecision and second guessing of myself at the first event there’s a ton of people crushing me. I had Taj, Jordy, and Dane on my FS team, watched the first round and dropped Taj and Dane for Kelly and Mick.

You were on tour for more than a decade. What do you miss the most? 
Winning a hard heat. The preparation that goes into that 30-minute heat can sometimes be months.  I looked at every heat win on the WCT as a victory. On the opposite side of the spectrum would be the G-Land events. During my first few years on tour my time spent at the camp was by far the most memorable. It was there that I had the chance to surf the most perfect waves I’ve ever seen with most of my surfing heroes. Guys like Occy, Luke Egan, Tom Carroll, Wayne Lynch, Martin Potter, Gary Elkerton, Rob Bain, Rusty Keaulana and Derek Ho to name a few. G-Land was also one of the few WCT events my father travelled to.

What do you miss the least?
I got into contests so I could surf more and travel more. That plan worked marvelously until I made the WCT. Unfortunately you spend most of your time on the Dream Tour dreaming of your next uncrowded freesurf away from the circus.

There have been a several pairs of successful surfing brothers on tour. Is it an advantage to have a sibling on tour with you?
I would’ve made the WCT without my brother, but would’ve never pushed myself as hard once I was there if it wasn’t for him. He raised the bar for me every day.

Four man heat at Teahupoo. You and Cory against the Hobgood brothers. Who wins? 
Not that my memory is the best, but I remember beating Damien at macking Teahupoo and C.J. at macking Cloudbreak. And I don’t remember Cory losing to either of them as well. Gonna have to go with the Lopez brothers on this one.

I was watching the Magic and Larry Bird documentary on HBO the other day. It reminded me of Occy and Curren for some reason. They say Magic/Bird rivalry saved the NBA. There doesn’t seem to be any true rivalries in surfing these days. Everyone seems so friendly now. Is this hurting the ASP?
The ASP needs to spice things up and it isn’t just a rewording of the judging criteria or a couple kids that can throw the tail. Good contest surfing is great to watch…so is figure skating. Neither get a fraction the attention of NASCAR or NBA. Every race someone’s pushing someone into the wall in NASCAR and every night somebody is getting a technical in the NBA. The ASP needs to find the change. That will allow them to make the leap to providing entertainment to the masses. Bobby Martinez put the ASP’s issues so eloquently in an interview for ESPN recently and I agree with him 100 percent.

What do you think of all the changes the ASP has enacted this year? 
What changes?  They fired the head judge and put another in his place. They should have kept the same head judge but educated him to the subtleties of progressive surfing. If they really want a change, they need to hire someone of the caliber of the guys on tour to be the head judge. 

What surprised you the most about the first event at Snapper? 
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Also Jadson Andre. He is the most improved surfer I’ve seen.

It seems surfing has hit another gear in recent years. Progression has been slow if you compare it with the likes of skateboarding, but in the past five or so years guys are really surfing at another level I think. Does it amaze you how good the kids are these days? 
It doesn’t surprise me how good the kids are these days. Their surfboards are better, wetsuits are better and the freshest Dane Reynolds move is on the Internet the next day. They better be good. Now if more of them could do a proper carve to setup an air or tail flick I’d be impressed. Everything they are doing has been done at least a decade ago. Jordy and Dane aren’t kids anymore and their surfing is what the kids should be trying to emulate now.  Jason “Ratboy” Collins’ cover shot at Steamer Lane during an expression session a hundred years ago is still as good as anything out there today, and there’s plenty of other examples. 

You are of Cuban decent right?
Yes I am.

You took a trip to Cuba several years ago. What was it like and did you get any heat for that?
My trip to Cuba was sad. The people, the country, everything appeared frozen in time. Beginning with the cars from the ’50s still on the roads and going all the way to the military with machine guns on the beaches. We had guns drawn on us trying to surf a fun right point. We had people scared to rent us accommodation when they found out we were Americans. I would’ve loved to have grown up in a different reality. One where I could visit my grandparents on their homeland in Cuba and not a trailer park in Largo, Florida. Cuba was/is a beautiful country with amazing people that unfortunately had its government miss the boat. Fortunately for me my family, (we) caught a boat to the U.S.A. and have been here ever since.

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175 responses

11 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Sweet interview Nug…and Shea, thanks for a having a brain in addition to fucking ripping.

And also….

FIRST, MY DAMIES!!!

11 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Reposting my last comment from the previous post, cause it was only up for about two minutes before the Shea interview appeared. And I want to know what the rest of our crew of dimwits think about the issue….

“And speaking of auto-fellatio, I accidentally read the new power rankings (or at least the first 1/3 before a spontaneous aneurysm erupted in my brain, causing blindness and partial paralysis).
Reading it was like watching Richard Greico rub baby oil all over himself while wearing a silk speedo and preening into a full length gilded mirror.

No mention of the weak-ass call to insert the ladies into what should have been the semifinal and final rounds, when there was actual surf.

Some utter bullshit about the new judging criteria that I am just going to have to quote: “it became apparent that turns had to conform to a power AND total on-edge-commitment-through-the-whole-radius-of-the-complete-maneuver criteria….There is a new sheriff in town and his name is Richie [Porter, head judge] and I think I like it, a lot.”

Cairns then puts Taj at No. 1 because he has “new zest” (yes, it really says that), and “more power in his hacks”. Right next to a video of Taj doing one-half and three-quarter turns that finish with NO rail in the water. Not that Taj didn’t win his heats, but seriously. Really? And Slater at 10? Because he doesn’t have enough power according to Cairns?

Jesus Fucking Laird Hamilton. Mark, can you give me some tips on quitting?”

11 03 2010
Borte

like i was any better.????

11 03 2010
Mike Todd

WHAT EVER!!!!!!

13 03 2010
#11

Sorry to say but AI in his prime was a better surfer. Definitely had the heart of a champion, and could draw from a limitless amount of anger. Heat strategy was lacking but that’s when he fell back on the raw ability.
Seems like everyone wants their event at the begining of the year when the hype machine is in full effect, or end of the year when a possible title showdown is unfolding. I personally liked traveling to two events, coming home for a break and then hitting the road again.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Shea Lopez appears to be an articulate and intelligent human being. Therefore, I can deduce two things:

1. He is not Hawaiian.

2. The ASP currently has 100 yard restraining order that prevents him and his “thinking” ilk from approaching their muddled masses. According to the ASP, thinking is for “the fags.”

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

And by “fags,” I do not mean Chas Smith or Derek Reilly.

They are just gay.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Btw,

Steph Gilmore’s victory photo at Trannysworld Surf (yes, I accidently viewed their web page) depicts her powerful, glistening thighs with a hint of taut nippleage ‘neath her tight singlet. I want to delicately nibble uponst those thighs like a blind newborn kitten lapping its mother’s teats.

Granted, the look on her face says, “I will snap your boner like a crocodile dining on a Slim Jim and pummel your face with my man-fists until you cry like Jeremy Flores after a heat loss.”

But it would be worth every tear of shame.

11 03 2010
Mike

Jambone…. you inspired comments on the last thread, too bad you bailed and had to repost (?).

Enoch… lapping it’s mothers teats. I’m sure Stephanie is moist after reading your homage.

As for Shea, the Lopez brothers fantasy is to reborn as Hobgoods… hence the vinegar of a gulf coast, second tier pro.

As for Cuba, American policy is a disaster…. again.

11 03 2010
sheapez

Thanks Mike for the compliment! Starting my progression out in the surfing epicenter of Indian Rocks Beach and making my way all the way up to second tier pro is farther than I ever imagined. Scratch the surface and I’m full of piss and vinegar, very astute observation there. Lopez brothers fantasy is to be…doing exactly what we’ve done our entire lives.

11 03 2010
The Nug

@mike
You and Shea actually have a lot in common. Shea was once 11th in the world and you were the 111th best guy out at Rincon during the last swell. Just fucking with you.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Nug,

I thought you were going to say they had something in common because Shea once raped an elephant.

Heh heh.

11 03 2010
Innersection.tv

Check out taylor steele’s number 1 ripper “jeff Lukasik”. He has the most views…

A kid already figured out that you can make your video 1st by clicking/commenting/voting for yourself the most.

The wheels are already falling off, but the comments are classic by some classy people.

Shea my favorite lost movie part is when you their talkin about your QS rating and cory shows the porno mag. Do you know Where Randall IS????

11 03 2010
sheapez

That intro came from a fun trip to Oz with Benji, Cory, Jay Larson and Timmy Curran. Timmy was exposed to a whole new world as we made our way from comp to comp. Last I heard of Randall he was spewing profanities at my little sister and youngest brother outside Catalyst in San Clemente.
Innersection.tv–just a suggestion– you should put your expert comments by Taylor, Dorian, Gerr and Malloy in a separate area for easier viewing. I couldn’t care less for the anonymous animosity and fabricated shout outs, that’s what this website is for.

11 03 2010
Shea Lopez Interview on Nugable | ERGO BLOG

[…] over to NUGABLE and read the Shea Lopez interview where he talks sh!t on the ASP. […]

11 03 2010
Ad banner

@ nug,

You see what happens when you cozy up to the industry, now instead comments in the comments section it going to be advertisements and links to clothing.

At least make a column for the advertisers. (maybe you can use Surfline template)

11 03 2010
The Nug

It’s called a pingback. They are automated when you link to something. But you knew that. Right T?

11 03 2010
Proctor and Gamble

Nice site any advertisement room left??????

27 03 2010
Sure buddy

P&G ?? LOL this is the funniest website ever. SO how do you juggle between all these people and trying to come up with new post ? I bet you sit in a little house that you barely make your rent in and just type all day long…..Hey there is a place called Embortigillia and its calling your name…

11 03 2010
Meatwad

I went back to surfline to try and count how many times he mentions Dane or Jordy or Dane and Jordy in the power rankings but I kept vomiting in my mouth and losing count any one else that gives it a go be careful its a lot of suck to try and filter out

11 03 2010
JEd Smith

I though I was the only one who deleted unflattering comments???? guess not !!!

Shea you ever see the Iron Brothers Smoke ICE ??????

11 03 2010
Elwood

Love the Shea interview… he would fit in well around here.

The SL power rankings are a joke on all levels…

Jamon is the man lately…. giving old Blasph. and Mike a run for their money.

11 03 2010
smyrnajeff

Speaking of ‘fantasy surfer’ my fantasy is to be bound with 20 lb. Test fishin’ line and be gang-banged by both the Hobgood and Lopez bros. They’re way hotter than Gorkin or Kech.

11 03 2010
Mike

Hey Sheapez,

The hobgood slam is more a reverence to the twin’s tenure and resiliency. The Lopez’ had short runs comparatively. Second tier is better than the QS and the free ticket they got to travel is worth more than the points for winning heats in “dream tour” garbage.

Best quote from Nug’s interview…. “most of your time on the dream tour dreaming of your next uncrowded free surf”…. classic.

Also worth noting…. G-land. How can a tour call itself a dream when Cloudbreak and G-land are gone? Let’s have a seance and raise the ghost of Dave Mailman to explain (apologize) that one!

Ooooppppsssss, my bad, they replaced Tavy with Brazil.

Can’t wait for the heats at Soup Bowls! That ever present sideshore will launch Dane, Jordy, Dane, Jordy, Dane, Jordy, Dane and Jordy!!!!

Fuck off Elwood, that bagel is fucking two posts stale!

13 03 2010
ButSeriouslyNow...

M, pay attention- it’s THE dane . don’t you read chas smith on ‘ing who sucks more dane / jordy shwanz than kanga could. ever. get with it son.

11 03 2010
Phillips

None of you can bang on Shea Lopez…….that is unless you have multiple local, state, regional and national titles to your name. None of you have ever even been in the ring. Much less qualify for the world tour via the PSSA and then park in the top 16 for multiple years. She is super laid back, nice, approachable and has no ego.

Oh yeah, I witnessed him hitting it upside down multiple times on his backhand at NSB inlet monday and it looked better than half the butt wigglers contesting snapper rocks for the ASP. On top of that, he is a family man, a captain, a community leader and one hell of a fisherman.

How many so called pro’s can you name that have all of that in the bag at 35 years old? That’s what I thought. Shake it off haters.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Phillips,

The term “haters” = FAILCOPTRZ!!!!11!1!!

And you obviously haven’t figured out that I am really Kelly Slater, so I have every right to judge other surfers.

I think the point of this post, and this website in general, has sailed over your shrunken head like an airship full of bat farts.

11 03 2010
T

My exwife called me the biggest “filho da Puta” in America.

11 03 2010
Elwood

At a firing left point/reef:

Shea v. T. Knox = Shea
Shea v. Whitts = Shea
Shea v. Dingo = Shea
Shea v. Adriano = even money
Shea v Kai or Ace = even money

run it at blown out sectioned out Snapper or high tide side-shore Bells then you could turn it all around.

11 03 2010
Phillips

Enoch,

You don’t surf, not with a name like that. You’re most likely an overly tall, pale academic that is unemployed and living with your mom. Did I nail that? I thought so.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Phillips,

Yep. You nailed it. All based on my ‘Real’ name no less!

And since we are making assumptions, let me state a few facts about you:

You appear to have the reading comprehension of a last place Special Olympian overdosing on cough syrup whose singular response to external stimuli is to bash anything that moves with the yellow plastic hammer from a Playschool® ‘My Little Toolbox’ set. I’m constantly amazed that people like you can figure out which end of a dog the food goes into, much less operate telecommunications devices and vehicles. And yet, somehow, since you can apparently afford to buy things, I can only surmise that there are actually people on this planet who employ your kind for god only knows what, but I can only imagine your mangled neurons are capable of providing at least the mechanical output of a crackhead with an etch-a-sketch. Let alone any product or service that someone with the ability to read two pages without fondling their junk would remotely consider worth their money.

Am I right?

Of course.

I’ll be in a meeting with ‘my mother’ upstairs for a few hours. I hope your response is creatively entertaining enough and cliché-less enough to hold my attention for more than four seconds.

Either that, or you returned to the shallower waters of the comments forums at Surfline or Stab.

Toodles.

11 03 2010
SmyrnaDane

@Phillips

I have never seen YOU out at the Inlet.

Fuckin maggot.

11 03 2010
CarpenteriaMike

Wheres Mailman and Jamon lately?

I wanna drop names and chat about U.C.L.A fraternities and pretend like I know FUCK ALL about world politics some more.

11 03 2010
CarpenteriaMike

Oh yeah bro Hammonds was SO SICK during that north wind last week.

And one time during one of my many trips to Oz this mate did a spit the winkle! SO GROSS!

And then another time I was at Hyde Park in ChiTown at an Iraq war protest and I smoked a doobie with William Ayers!

I am SO COOL and SO WELL READ! And I know SO MUCH MORE about shit than any of you younger bro’s!

Later guys!

11 03 2010
CarpenteriaMike

Empty point surf, Stella’s, bong hits and the Rachel Maddow show!

That’s all I need.

11 03 2010
sheapez

I just exchanged emails with Mayhem expanding on my comparison of surfing contests to figure skating. My response–Substitute water for ice and you have both sports going up, down and around in circles with arms waving. Athletes wear either tight fitting wetsuits or leotards. The judging is very comparable, and to the outsider not much drama occurs. Yes I believe small wave contests and figure skating events share many comparisons…that’s not a good thing in case you were wondering.

11 03 2010
Cal Worthington's Dog Mark

One time I had a threeway with Ronald Reagan and the elephant Shea Lopez raped. I named him Rush Limbaugh and not becasue he was fat. The damn thing ate all my oxys. Sold my last Hummer to him too.

11 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Mike, my fellow breakfast enthusiast, is taking lots of heat. And even though he called me stale, I feel the need to step to his defense. To wit:

None of you can bang on Mike…… He once rescued an entire flotilla of Japanese fisherman from certain drowning at the old Santa Monica Rail Pier during the epic 1909 swell. He is also credited with changing the course of history by rerouting the East Australian Current to attract more and better cyclones, sending superior surf to both southern Queensland and northern New South Wales.

His sexual conquests are many and legendary. Wilt Chamberlain once stated, “If I could pull down half the poontang that Mike pulls down, then I’d be gettin’ somewhere.” According to Wikipedia and the Guinness Book of Records, no one has scored more lip-glossed, teasy-haired vixens from the greater Yorba Linda/Brea/Outer Fullerton area than Mike. And that is over a single three-month period.

In addition to his supernatural sexual prowess, Mike was also the first to surf Chopes, Mavericks, and Shark Island. Of the the former, he said, “That is one dry fucking barrel….cept for the Godzilla spit. But dammit no one else will paddle out with me. Pussies.”

Mike is also super laid back, nice, approachable, and strikes fear into the (admittedly robot-assisted) heart of former Vice President and international arms dealer Dick Cheney.

11 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

PS, Shea, you are onto something. I have previously stated (and still claim) that Jeremy Flores would smoke Evan Lysacek in an all-comers, to-the-death, open figure skate comp.

11 03 2010
trauzersnake

@Sheapez

Did you do any college bro? Just curious.

11 03 2010
Might I Suggest...

….that Phillips just got Rottmouthed.

11 03 2010
Mike

Thanks for the “defense” breakfast boy.

Thanks for the “attack” Mark.

Although Enoch eloquently debated Phillips, I have no inclination to lower myself to the mud above Marks head.

@Sheapez….. surfing is like handing one artist a crayon and another a marker and giving them 30 minutes to create on 4 sheets of one ply toilet paper, then you have someone who can’t draw judge the effort while the camera pans everything but the art. Meanwhile, the toilet paper company runs an ad naseum marketing campaign with former “artists” talking non stop about the quality of thin toilet paper.

You see Sheapez, the artists were supposed to be given canvass’, but the surf was shit in the fucking contest waiting period. The one good morning during that time, they allowed the women to fingerpaint framed canvases.

11 03 2010
Smyrna Jeff's Diaphram

“Where am I”?

11 03 2010
Mark

@Jamon@14:24

Comment of the Week.

11 03 2010
phillips

@greatdane…..which produces a large pile of shit by the way

you wouldn’t see me at the inlet.

@Enochnocknockthe door…. you are the dennis miller of this thread.
same clowns from post surf with bald heads smearing hate. bald works for kelly slater, not you.

11 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Me, personally, I only smear cream cheese.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Phillips,

That was an admirable effort for a losing battle in a lost war.

Now that you spent countless hours culling the post and reading through and comments on a site “smearing hate,” I hope you have had your fill and can put your water-wings back on before joining the yokels in the wading pools at the Zine blogs.

We appreciate your brief appearance here.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go fornicate with a breakfast sandwich that “brungs da heezy” today.

11 03 2010
Enoch Ward

“…post and reading through THE comments…”

Shitfuckbukkakiballs!!!

11 03 2010
Mike

Bald doesn’t work for Kelly, Phillip, he just has no choice.

Dennis Miller eh? Wow Enoch, that means you have a successful career talking over Phillips head.

As for breakfast dough, smearing cream cheese is a passive aggressive form of hate, drowning the empty calorie hole in cholesterol and fat.

11 03 2010
Mark

I miss Stu.

11 03 2010
Elwood

Ya, wish we got more of steush.

21 03 2010
stu

I’m still here in spirit my friend. So upset about Obama and his health care plan that I can’t bring myself to talk surf much, other than with Cote on TWS. You were right…you were soooo right.

11 03 2010
Mark

And Cali Girl.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I miss Stu too.

He…

…Uhhhh…

He… ehhh… errr…

…What was it that he said that I should remember again?

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Cali Girl was an excellent troll job Mark. I have to hand it to you on that one. Huzzah!

Excellent work.

I will admit that you had me going for a few days you sunuvabitch.

Feel free to bring ‘her’ back whenever you want.

And since I my judgement is currently impaired, I must ask: I will be in San Diego for business early next week. Shalt we meet up for a brawl and brew? Provided I get to diddle your mammie’s tinkle canyon with my thruster afterwards.

Think it over ol’ chap.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

On a side note, I published a comment at Stab a few moments ago just to flush Jed’s cheeks and make him squirm in his knickers:

“If allowed the priveledge, I would eat every kernal from Steph’s fecal refuse with the lusty ambition of a famished Haitian orphan.

I shit you not.

Do not judge me for this. I am merely a fan.”

To be clear, I have been banned from commenting there for much smaller crimes. But I would bet Phillips’ testicles that this comment never sees the light of the aboriginal sun.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

In conclusion:

Fuck PeterPerfect and all that he loves.

12 03 2010
Dah'oh

“…much less qualify for the world tour via the PSSA and then park in the top 16 for multiple years. SHE is super laid back, nice, approachable and has no ego…”

Well I’ll be dammed. SHE was just defending the ladies.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mark,

Commenting as “Carpenteria Mike” won’t bring me out of the woodwork, but mentioning Cali Girl will. Where did that little vixen get to? Something tells me she’s not the girl we all make her out to be, but we can always dream!

Anyway, I think someone took a shot at my dear ol’ ASP earlier. Something about G-land and Fiji… Where are those places again? And why should they be on tour? Just kidding!

Ah yes. I believe it comes back to Mark’s two favorite things in life. Money and Politics. Since 9/11, doing anything, anywhere that is politically unstable is just asking for a lawsuit and is extremely expensive to insure. Yes, Oakley does the Jr. events in Bali, but apparently has a very good legal/insurance team behind them, doesn’t think that the world’s best Jr. surfers are as prime a target as the top 45, or just doesn’t care and goes for it. Hats off to them! G-land is in Indo, and although Rip Curl pulled off the Search in Bali 2 years ago, the stress levels involved in the security planning may have put the other brands off trying another WCT event there in the near future. As for G-land specifically, it is still under license to Quiksilver. Need I say more?

I covered the Fiji issue a few posts ago, so I’m not going to waste my energy on that one again. Having said all that, it is not to apologize for the actions (or inaction?) of the ASP. I too think both places should be on tour, as well as quite a few places that aren’t (Mexico anyone?). But I’m not the one making the calls, and you aren’t either. So keep complaining. It may help you vent some frustration, but it won’t change anything! You could always boycott watching the events on-line and on-demand, but that won’t change anything either…

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Have a look at Nick Carroll’s latest piece at ASL. Should make for some interesting discussions here at Nugable…

http://www.surfinglife.com.au/news/asl-news/3737–10-trends-for-10

12 03 2010
Nick Carroll

The Quik Pro had a surprisingly consistent run and a coupla days of really solid high performance surf – and she’s struggled to find that since 2006. It’s a welcome opening after a 2009 of mostly appalling World Tour surf. The blowout from an extended El Nino will keep things dynamic for some time yet and the dropping of contentious Mundaka – almost a direct swap for solid Portugal – weighs the year further toward good waves at major contest venues.

12 03 2010
Nick Carroll

The webcast from event one was the slickest Quik has managed, and FuelTV took it to more people than ever. It remains to be seen whether the standard can be lifted across the board – but the fact that events are increasingly and publicly judged on the quality of their live feeds can’t be lost on anyone any more. Basic errors like webcasting the on-beach commentary, failing to replay, or ignoring the world beyond whatever country you happen to be in at the time, just won’t cut it. Make those errors and get ready to be punished by the viewing audience.

12 03 2010
Nick Carroll

Note how the double-bill at Snapper got done so quick? Both events were finished with four days left in the waiting period. Those four days aren’t just a kind of record at Snapper; they also meant a fair saving to an event in which quite a few corners were subtly cut on expenditure. The global recession and subsequent corporate cost-cutting means there’s less money in the contest kitties; in turn this means pressure to get shit done. Add the midyear switch to smaller main events, and you’ve got quicker programs. It’s a juggling act, though – two of those four leftover Snapper days were forecast to produce, and did produce, excellent surf … much better than either men’s or women’s finals. The surfer reps will have taken note.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

More “news” from the ASP front…
The rumor mill, conspiracy theorists, surfing pundits and in-the-know Gold Coast based bookmakers are all calling for the dismissal of current ASP CEO Brodie Carr before the end of the 2010 season. When asked by this Nugable commentator whether there was any truth behind the speculation, Carr answered, “Well, I actually left the ASP last night… with a cold Corona in my hand. Then I came back this morning with a coffee in my hand instead.” He drinks his coffee flat-white. Corona with lime.
If Carr were to leave or get a “Hatchet Job”, the question begs to be asked, who would be called in to replace him, and does it really matter?
The Association currently “functions” without a President, since Rabbit’s departure. It hasn’t named a new Head Judge, unless the decision is made to take the word “interim” out of Richie Porta’s new title (which may happen since the coconut wireless says none of the younger, more “progressive” judges on the panel want to try stepping into Perry’s shoes, apparently due to the very politically charged nature of the position). And we still haven’t been informed of who (if anyone) will be filling the 2 new “independent” spots on the ASP Board of Directors.
In the meantime, no more news from the Rebel Tour front (has all the big non-endemic money and interest dried up, Taj’s Burro?), so no more outside pressure on the ASP to get anything done. Maybe they should just leave BJ where he is? The Devil you know, rather than the one that you don’t? Just askin’!

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

http://www.surfline.com/video/webisodes/talk-story-gerry-lopez-and-herbie-fl%20etcher_41623

Apparently “Part 1” is better, but I can’t find the link. Anyway, always nice to hear from Gerry…

12 03 2010
Mark

Gerry is a fuckin shameless drop in artist. I am sick of lookin at his flat ass from behind as he strokes the watery canvas with that stupid oar that he carries around cause he is too old to paddle like a real man.

And it gets old hearin the same old nostalgic crap that has been repeated and reinvented too many times. Would rather hear true hardcore gnar from some unknown troll that has street grit cred and no pretentious fuckin “regal” air about him that is derived from having spent the last 40 years gettin his ass kissed by every single maggot this side of Kaisers.

And one more thing Mr. Postman. If you really think that I worship money then you should speak with my wife regarding my “lack of commitment to all that is material” during our recent winter of love here in the almost golden state.

I DO enjoy political discussions however. Especially with anti-American fuzzy left handed crackpots like C-Mike and the Expat Postman with the sphinctered Argentinian fiance.

Hey Postman aren’t you supposed to get married BEFORE you have a child? Ah I’m sorry must be my conservative southern upbringing. Something only true gentlemen like Shea, the Hobgoods or SmyrnaDane would understand.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Touché, Mark!
Glad to hear it’s only Politics and that conservative Southern upbringing that makes your wheels go ’round. Money (and drop-in Gerry on a SUP, apparently) is the root of all evil. Or so I’m told…

12 03 2010
Mark

One thing I like about Davey Boy is he can take a tongue lashing better than Enoch Wards mom during the Great Depression of 1897.

I’m goin surfin. Aloha Brohim.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

It’s flat and freezing here! Get one for me, Mark!

12 03 2010
T

“– two of those four leftover Snapper days were forecast to produce, and did produce, excellent surf …””

Wow! I thought the comp motto Was the Best MEatPies in the Best Delis or something….

12 03 2010
skud

does anybody else hate that damn ASP commercial they play during all the webcasts lately? the one with kelly, jordy, and mick: “the world’s best surfers, the world’s best waves, welcome to the dream tour” fuck man, i wanna strangle a kitten every time they play that piece of kangaroo shit. what retarded ausie intern at the ASP offices came up with that awful fucking idea? and you just know all three of those guys were cringing the entire time they were filming that piece of shit. they need to fire their ad guys. and if they go to an agency, that agency needs to be fire-bombed like an abortion clinic in the bible belt. seriously ASP marketing guys, KILL YOURSELVES! you suck dick.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Mailman, you cant just cut/paste paragraphs out of context and then post them under Nick Carroll’s name with nothing to indicate it’s a quotation…that was goddamned confusing. Breakfast is supposed to be the most glorious time of day, and now I am just disheveled.

So you all know, those comments were actually taken from the “10 Trends for ’10” from the Transworld article that Mailman mentioned. But I thought Nick was just posting some really dry shit.

PS, Nick, if that actually was you, the same comment still applies. And as long as you/Mailman are recycling content, how could you leave out the “More Gay Journalism” trend? Global Cooling must be miffed.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

@ Skud…

Now that’s what I call spreadin’ some hate!

12 03 2010
T

@ someone in the know.

What does the ASp offer its athletes with regards to Health insurance, retirement, and any other basic benefits during time on tour and off.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mailman,

I would love to read the article you linked to, and then cut-and-pasted into this comments thread, but unfortunately, I can’t read retard-speak.

I see the words “Nick Carroll” and my brain hemorrhages while my testicles recoil. It’s a genetic thing I guess.

I know he would say the same about me, but look dawg, I gotsta keep it real yo.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Since we’re catching up with Shea Lopez and “discussing” the ups and downs of the ASP, as well as celebrating the joys of the computer’s cut-and-paste function, here’s Shea’s outlook on the Quiky Pro from his new gig at Surfer:

SHEA’S WORDS START HERE:

“And without further ado, I give you The Anti-climax!

I hate being negative; it’s so easy to do, yet so hard to do right. Three more heats – that’s all that needed to be run of the Men’s Comp by last night, and the Quik Pro would’ve been a major success. Dane Reynolds would’ve won, or at least not scored a measly 8.93 heat total.

Taj would’ve had to surf to a new level to win. Instead he caught the best waves, linked his turns, and fell all but once by attempting anything of consequence. Taj’s tail blow to complete his best ride vs. Bobby was as impressive as Bobby’s seamless aerial. Watching Bobby’s post heat interview, it looked like he was waiting for someone to wake him up from a bad dream. Seeing Snapper peel off perfectly for almost a week, Bobby had just lived his own worst nightmare in the Semis, the right point version of Bakio. Bobby wins at Mundaka, anyone can win at Bakio.

Jordy made all the right adjustments to the conditions – consistently nailed a variety of moves straight out of his Modern Collective repertoire, yet what should of been the easiest piece of the puzzle to complete his victory failed him. Kenny Rogers sang it best, “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run.” I can almost hear Taj telling Jordy tonight in one of the trendy corners of Surfer’s Paradise, “If you’re gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right!” more words there from “The Gambler.” I grew up listening to those lyrics in Florida. Slater must’ve heard them a time or two as well; he’s made almost all the right plays his entire career.

If the newest group of Sacrificial Lambs are going to be around after the cutoff they better learn the game, and quick. The new ASP and the well-prepared veterans can smell their blood in the water already. The big axe job the ASP is giving after 5 events is gonna really blow. There should always be a second chance round, all 4 semi-finalists in the quick pro lost in Round One. Does anyone think this is Taj’s year? I bet Mick, Joel, and Kelly are very happy it wasn’t Dane or Jordy winning.

Please Rip Curl move the next comp to Winki as much as possible.”
-Shea Lopez

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Jamon & Enoch,

OK, you got me! It wasn’t Nick Carroll posting bits of his article, it was me. I guess my “alias” skills are about as good as Mike’s. Mark is truly Master of Aliases. Sorry, for the confusion, Bagel, and for the brain hemorrhage, Ward! Now, to avoid any more confusion, and to see how many hemorrhage episodes the commenter formerly know as Blasphemy Rottmouth can handle in one day, I give you the article, by Mr. Nick Carroll from Australia’s Surfing Life magazine, in its entirety…

“The Quik Pro’s finished …. Now the question is, what’s it started? Based on Snapper, here’s ASL’s call on the ten things we’ll see happen over and over this year in ASP World Tour Land.

Better surf. The Quik Pro had a surprisingly consistent run and a coupla days of really solid high performance surf – and she’s struggled to find that since 2006. It’s a welcome opening after a 2009 of mostly appalling World Tour surf. The blowout from an extended El Nino will keep things dynamic for some time yet and the dropping of contentious Mundaka – almost a direct swap for solid Portugal – weighs the year further toward good waves at major contest venues.

Better live coverage. The webcast from event one was the slickest Quik has managed, and FuelTV took it to more people than ever. It remains to be seen whether the standard can be lifted across the board – but the fact that events are increasingly and publicly judged on the quality of their live feeds can’t be lost on anyone any more. Basic errors like webcasting the on-beach commentary, failing to replay, or ignoring the world beyond whatever country you happen to be in at the time, just won’t cut it. Make those errors and get ready to be punished by the viewing audience.

Confusion on the ratings. The fact that the “One World” ranking system had Alejo Muniz at seventh in the world after the Quik Pro tells you all you need to know about this issue. Nobody understands the scale; what world it is where a non-WT pro can be running seventh? Everyone, even the renowned Renato Hickel, the ex-ASP head judge and current tour manager who’s been the backbone of the new system, knows it’s going to take some time before the points balance can be declared ideal. In the meantime we suspect there’ll be a lot of head scratching.

More event winners. The World Tour year has been averaging just under six different winners each year for some time now. The usual pattern goes like this: some cunt wins three or four, some other cunt wins two or three, and the others are scrapped up by various in-form punters or local favourites on finals day. But on Quik Pro form, this year is going to go above average. A lot of guys looked capable of winning, and nobody’s written a script for ’10, at least not one that anybody else believes. Don’t be shocked if there’s a different guy on top every event.

More gay journalism. The online surf media has opened doors to lots of new surf writers in recent times; naturally enough they’re drawn to the World Tour like bees to honey. The result? Some of the funniest, dumbest and most entertaining writing on the sport in many years. Wannabe Lewis Samuelses, bitterly protesting the Evil Surf Industry while happily drinking its beer, are popping out of the dirt at every turn; Chas Smith introduces the surfers as bit players in his own hectic life drama; Steve Shearer muses on crucial world events while describing Dane as the Messiah. Gold! And if in all this you’re missing the actual story, well you always know where to come.

Unsettled judging. This isn’t just to do with Perry Hatchett’s getting the sling – though fark, if I was a judge right now, I’d be thinking there isn’t too much job security in this game. It’s more to do with the pressure behind the judges to change – to reward big progressive moves beyond all else in the criteria. The thing is that they’d already been changing down these lines for a couple of years. Now they’ve been given a hurry-up to a destination some thought they’d pretty much reached. The result? Big separations of scores. At Snapper, some waves were split by over two points between individual judges; over a 10-point range, that’s a huge gap. Expect this to continue through 2010, until the new criteria, and the loss of Hatchett, settle in.

Faster events. Note how the double-bill at Snapper got done so quick? Both events were finished with four days left in the waiting period. Those four days aren’t just a kind of record at Snapper; they also meant a fair saving to an event in which quite a few corners were subtly cut on expenditure. The global recession and subsequent corporate cost-cutting means there’s less money in the contest kitties; in turn this means pressure to get shit done. Add the midyear switch to smaller main events, and you’ve got quicker programs. It’s a juggling act, though – two of those four leftover Snapper days were forecast to produce, and did produce, excellent surf … much better than either men’s or women’s finals. The surfer reps will have taken note.

Superchicks. They’re not getting much love from the surf media for whatever reason, but you’ve gotta wonder how that can possibly last when the standard’s this high. Maybe they need their own Lewis Samuels…or Taylor Steele.

Ongoing surfboard weirdness. Recently the great Al Merrick, avatar of pro-surfer board design since 1982, stepped out of the bay for a life of fishing, SUPing and more fishing. His phenomenal hold on the craft of designing for top professional surfers, which has carried through from Tom Curren and Kelly Slater down to Dane Reynolds – with pretty much everyone in between ordering a Merrick quiver a coupla times a year – is over, and with it ends certainty. At Snapper guys were switching boards every second heat, borrowing from each other’s quivers, and generally groping in the dark; the gap between surfers with settled quivers and those without just kept showing up. And Kelly, well he won’t go over 5’8”.

Kelly won’t get 10. Slater is a trend in himself. This is his 20th year on tour, and at times during the past 10, he’s threatened to grow up and out of the pro scene. But something’s always dragged him back … some crazy showdown in the making, some record not yet broken, something yet to be proven, or just a renewed interest in the game. “Ten would be nice,” he told the media. But as KS knows like nobody else, 10 wouldn’t be nice. It’d be a remorseless year of putting all your cards on the table, heat after heat, board after board, against the best opposition in all that 20 years, and you couldn’t afford to count the cost in the process. Most of all, it’d be doing it all …again. At Snapper he looked like a guy who just doesn’t need that shit.”

– Nick Carroll

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

qwdbniociqwegyfo3gtf01346802r40`2076%%&$&^79…

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Sorry, Enoch! How’s the testicle recoil going?!?

12 03 2010
Mike

Where to start?

The ASP is a boat without either sails or oar and requires a corporate tugboat (quiksilver) to get into harbor (insert USA/Banks metaphor here).

Nick Carroll publicizes a well run event from his new offices down the rabbit hole in Wonderland. Worst produced event in the last year, from a podcast standpoint. The cameraman and director should be unemployed (fired), good on ya mates. From an organizational perspective, they failed men’s professional surfing again and Taj won a wonky final that should have been completed the day before in the goods.

Isn’t it funny how Mark makes some sense when he’s not hiding behind any of his CUTE aliases. Nice job, Calibammy. Now if you could just vote for your best financial interest, you’ll have less time to chastise those of us aware of the reasons for your financial urgency.

The bagel has really stepped up breakfast into the cynical realm of Brunch.

As for Shea’s mea culpa on the Snapper debacle, please consider this #11 in the world… the pipe title was the definition of anti climatic! How many events suffered shitty finals (help me out boys)? Lets see, Bells was a disaster, Snapper only finished because of jet ski’s, Brazil was held at San Onofre, France was shorebreak, Mundaka was…., Portugal wasn’t worth investing in again, Lowers had an exhausted God (two heats surfed) paddling out against a machine in utter shit…. am I missing anything? Oh yeah, Chopes with shoulder high turns.

The rest of Shea’s rant blows up from there. Isn’t it fascinating that with the exception of Bobby, no one currently on tour brings up the obvious. All they had to do to pacify the big boys was to pay them a little more money than lipservice, but the cut mid season will expose the trap door.

Skud lands a pinpointed skud.

The CT needs to be trimmed down to a very mobile 16. Allow the QS to be the circus the corpos so desperately need. Two day swell windows to complete a CT event, beach presence be damned. Dave Mailman tells us (me) to complain to deaf ears and then tune in to Torquay for fat rincon. Yep, Money ran away with the show and even our dear Mailman delivers the message of compliance to a system hi-jacked from it’s premise.

Well young Dave, I hear you. No more criticisms, no more cynicism. I’ll drink Nick Carroll’s Koolaid and root for my favorite corporate stooge to win in conditions and judgine criteria I do not understand…. happily.

Or I’ll just go surfing.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

**sounds of my mother upstairs frantically dialing 911**

“Yes, hello. Dispatcher?”

“This is Mrs. Ward, and my son just had an aneurysm.”

“Well, you see, he lives in our basement and he’s an overly tall, pale academic that is unemployed and bald.”

**pause while dispatcher barks on the other end of the line**

“I understand Mr. Dispatcher, but I don’t understand why my son being a loser means the ambulance won’t get here quicker.”

“All he did was try to read an article that a crazy ex-pat named David Mailman sent him, and his eyes, ears, nose and anus simultaneously began bleeding.”

“Yes, I know it sounds crazy”

“The article? Oh, I think it was written by someone named Nick Carroll.”

**Another pause while the dispatcher calmly explains something in a sympathetic voice**

“Thank you for understanding my son’s predicament. I will be sure to tell him never to read that jaberwocky again.”

“I appreciate all your help. I hear the ambulance pulling up outside now.”

“Buh-bye Mr. Dispatcher.”

The end.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

T,
The surfers just managed to snag some health benefits from the ASP during the Board Meeting in Mundaka last October. As for retirement benefits, etc., nada. The surfers are basically independent contractors, and as such, it is up to them to pay for their different insurance policies and to invest or put money aside for a rainy day, i.e. retirement.

12 03 2010
Global cooling

some guy commented on surfline’s power rankings about Kelly’s surfing, “rail surfing always looks better, especially if the judges can see it. kelly’s turns are too short, with too much rotation. he needs to stop mucking around with equipment and get back to the standard short board approach. kelly used to surf on rail.”

For the most part, I think this guy speaks the truth. Kelly needs to re-vert to something that can hold a rail and draw out a turn(same goes for Dane) or no tenth.

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike and Enoch,
Your responses are why I love to cut and paste things from the other sites. Mike gets all pissed off and storms out the door to go surfing (get one for me Mike!) and Enoch finds his muse and makes me laugh my ass off! Nice work gentlemen!
PS: Mike, the Koolaid doesn’t taste that bad once you get used to it…

12 03 2010
Mark

Killer new sandbar in North County this morning.

Don’t want to broadcast the location but shoulder high spitting nuggets non fricken stop with under 5 guys out for 3 hours before my sales meeting.

I love life!!!

12 03 2010
Randomrandomness

Oh Mr Bacon…. I dream of you often. When I am feeling down I get to nibble on you. When I am hungry or just needed a snack, you are always there. I want to thank you for being so…. Crispy. So true to what you are… pork. I don’t know where I would be without you. You are a true uniter of everything that is good. I want …to be with you forever. Oh Mr Bacon, I think I am going to go order you up on an egg sandwich.

12 03 2010
Mike

Oh Davey…

We had bad winds while I was out of town and it’s so freaking cold I thought I was in France.

2 waves and a shower…. and proud I managed that.

Sounds like Marky scored the goods, guess every dog (Ponto) has it’s day!

12 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
That’s better than anything I’ve had in the last 10 days. Except Blas’ mom’s 911 call. Fifth time I’ve read it, and I’m still pissing myself!

12 03 2010
Mike

Yeah DM, Enoch is probably like Will Ferrel in Wedding crashers…. living at home in the basement, pulling chicks at funerals.

“Ma, get me some meatloaf, Ma!”

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Just got back after a few hours, and holy fucking first-meal-of-the-day. I sprained a gut laughing.

I love you guys, man. Like really, really. Inappropriately.

Oh, and @randomretardedness….FUCK BACON!

12 03 2010
SHE

I love you guys!!! Definitely came up with a few gems today!
Catching up on all of it really topped of my return from a successful visit to sea world….rode in on my elephant and fornicated with a killer whale. How many people have numerous multi-ton conquests on their list, SHE does!!

@Mike, the artist bit was a beauty-now if they would’ve of let the girls fingerpaint each other nobody would of minded their intrusion.

Poor @Phillips, came to the defense of a damsel in distress and you put his head on the chopping block. Every girl loves a hero. You guys wouldn’t know that though as none of your many personalities have ever been the hero or been with a real girl…No @Mailmans fiance doesn’t count. Tip–a little lube next time and maybe @Phillips will stay around to play. That’s how @Mailman got his fiance away from all your sticky paws.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Jamon,

There is nothing inappropriate about a grown man putting his throbbing gristle inside a breakfast sandwich – so long as there are copious quantities of mayonnaise involved. “No mayo, no yayo,” as the whore’s say in Da Bronx.

Being the basement dwelling virgin that I am, I have tried this technique with many condiments. My favorite is the honey-soaked ham smothered in Monterey Jack cheese, garden plucked tomatoes, an avocado, and Winn-Dixie mayonnaise. Hold the lettuce… a veteran like me can attest to the fact that the roughage can make for an uncomfortable experience.

Now, if homosexual coitus is what you desire (and I do not judge – the Laird has endowed us all with our unique tendencies), then you may want to lob your feelings towards Phillips or PeterPerfect.

In other news today, my toilet isn’t reacting too well towards the walrus steak tartar I imbibed for dinner last evening.

12 03 2010
Mike

Once again, Global Cooling, we disagree.

Maybe Kelly completes his turns too quickly for your glacier-like reflexes to see, but his turns are full rail, short radius and projecting simultaneously. His technique is nearly flawless (better than Curren-esque) and his new boards seem to be running better than his experimental period early last season.

Go back to watching FOX butcher the “news”…

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

P.s.

Who is Dennis Miller?

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Mike said everything I need to about the Slater comment.

12 03 2010
Mike

Hey Enoch, how did you know that Jamon is gay? Super slueth I reckon…

Well, I guess anyone who fantasizes about being eaten must play both sides of the breakfast plate…eeerrrrr fence. And I do guess that skinny dicks could fit within the bagel “hole”. Wow, you won’t learn this shit anywhere else.

Let’s recap, Jamon’s Bagel is a salty gay sex toy, Enoch’s ass is erupting walrus, Randomdude loves bacon and Dave is bored out of his mind (hence the re-reading of the ASP rulebook like a bible). That should do it.

Poor Nug, the warden of an eclectic asylum.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

So now I am totally reconsidering the meaning of my statement, “FUCK BACON”…
But like most sandwiches I am asexual. Almost as if, I were…married…

(have fun with that Mailman, by the way).

As for Phillips, alas, I think we have seen the last of her. Which is too bad, because that was excellent sport. Now Peter Perfect, well, I think he likes it brutal. He will return.

One more point, Enoch. I will be devastated if I ever find out that you are randomrandomness. Click my name to get an idea of how it will go down. My reaction begins at 0:14.

12 03 2010
Mike

Hey Jammy,

Did you notice the first comment under your video?????????!!!!!!!!

None other than Randomdude himself!

“Almost as if I were married”…… brilliant, even for a breakfast dough. Dave has no idea what’s he getting himself into. Watching those french girl frolick around naked on the beach…. it’s just not fair.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I am not randomrandomness, but I confess a small piece of my blackened heart holds a small bit of affection for his comments.

Laird knows it’s just another one of Mark’s aliases. If so, then chalk one up next to Cali Girl as one of his few successes.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

If I were Dave Mailman, I’d be machine-gun pillaging the honeyholes on the beaches in France like a rabbit on ecstacy.

Alas, I am too tall, pale, and Euro-less to score such a poonapalooza. Plus, I am apparently bald… just like Julian Wilson.

**sobs, slinks back to changing the diaper of my youngest kid**

12 03 2010
SHE

wasn’t s’posed to be a reply to @jamon bagel

I love you guys!!! Definitely came up with a few gems today!
Catching up on all of it really topped of my return from a successful visit to sea world….rode in on my elephant and fornicated with a killer whale. How many people have numerous multi-ton conquests on their list, SHE does!!

@Mike, the artist bit was a beauty-now if they would’ve of let the girls fingerpaint each other nobody would of minded their intrusion.

Poor @Phillips, came to the defense of a damsel in distress and you put his head on the chopping block. Every girl loves a hero. You guys wouldn’t know that though as none of your many personalities have ever been the hero or been with a real girl…No @Mailmans fiance doesn’t count. Tip–a little lube next time and maybe @Phillips will stay around to play. That’s how @Mailman got his fiance away from all your sticky paws.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@SHE,

Sea World?

So, how is Mark’s mother doing these days. I hear captivity can be a bitch.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

@EW, regarding Mark:

“I make friends. They’re toys. My friends are toys. I make them. It’s a hobby.”

12 03 2010
Mike

No Enoch, Dave has given away his key to happiness (french pussy) to abstain from sex forever with a chastity ring on his fourth finger!

Oh yes Dave, you’ll get some occasionally if you decide to procreate more often, but the casual fuck will not often find the right mood. Did I say “fuck”… I meant “making love”. You know, missionary position half asleep.

Davey, do you remember your last great blow job? Me neither.

If only someone had been so kind as to warn me…

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Before this turns into an episode of “Miserable Men,” I would like to add that I have been married for nine years and had sex enough times to produce three ADD kids that tax my patience on a minute-by-minute basis.

So by my math, that makes me the coolest du…

… wait, I just DID the math… faaaarrrkkk!~!

Mailman, you are scawreeeewed.

LOLCOPTRZ!!!!!!

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Jamon,

We need to get together some time and polish off a bottle of Jameson whilst watching ‘Blade Runner’ and ‘Dune’.

I’ll bring the mayo.

**wink**

12 03 2010
Mike

“Do you like blowjobs?… Don’t get married!”

Chris Rock 2009, social observationist and master of the obvious.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Given the rampant and jubilant misinterpretation of my prior expression of affection, I feel a clarification is in order, in case I ever end up on a surf trip or pub crawl with any of y’all…

Naked French Girls = FUCKYEAH.

Dudesex = Nope.

There, that was easier than I thought. I feel so liberated!

12 03 2010
Mike

@Dave Mailman….

Since you already have one kid and Enoch has given you the arithmatic for your future sex life, you should expect a good time once every 3 years.

Maybe Chas picked the right team afterall. It’s a leap of faith, I know, but at least you get to wear cool shoes and wake up late worrying about your hair. Throw in some travel observations on surfing you no longer do and you’ll segue into a nice career writing for Stab.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Lol @ Mike 17:42

That was pure mu’fucken genious.

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

btw,

My comment about Steph Gilmore, as predicted, bit the dust beneath the mighty gavel of Judge Jed “The Greek” Smith.

12 03 2010
phillips

uuhhhmmmuhmm…….

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

That is the beauty of this blog. Nug probably framed that comment and hung it on his office wall, right next to his five-star rating from the Better Business Bureau.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Although I am starting to wonder about The Nug. For the past twenty minutes I have been attempting to post a clarification (in case I end up on surf trips or pub crawls with any of yall) that Hammy is indeed straight. But for some reason it will not post…is there such a thing as a heterosexuality-confirmation filter?

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Oh, and Mike….since we are all bald, how are we gonna worry about our hair?

12 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Cocknballnutlick.

I gotta run. Heading to Mammoth for a weekend of slope schrapling. Or, in my case, trying to avoid looking like a wayward bobsledder destined to meet his Laird and Saviour uponst a tree or pole.

Drop in on a boogie boarder for me at your local breaks this weekend. And if you don’t do it for me, at least do it for the children.

Cheers!

12 03 2010
Mike

It’s ok salty gay sex toy, we are a liberal bunch and don’t mind your individuality.

Now if global cooling gets ahold of you, he will chastise your usage for all to hear… until he finds you in private company, then it’s on “Republican” style (repressed gay). Think Larry Craig at the breakfast counter.

12 03 2010
Mike

And you’d think Enoch would travel with a lap top being a writer and all.

12 03 2010
Mike

@Jamon…. I was referencing David Mailman’s wild mop, not your smooth, egg wiped exterior…. assuming your not poppy seed.

12 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

I never trust anyone with a wide stance. That includes Adriano.

12 03 2010
Smyrna Jeff's Diaphram

I woke up groggy and found all these crumbs in Jeff’s anus….. WTF?!

Last time I let Gorkin pour me box wine during breakfast…..

12 03 2010
TUPAT

My thoughts are simple, 115 Comments regardless if they are positive or negative= Great free press. I love the USA. Keep your posts up guys and gals. I know Shea very well and he is laughing in his sleep about all you haters. Keep real and just surf.

13 03 2010
bigups

To the ultimate Grueler!!! What ever that is?????

19 03 2010
TUPAT

LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND ASK URSELF, AM I A ULTIMATE GRUELER? THEN YOU WILL GET YOUR ANSWER BUCK WHEAT.

21 03 2010
stu

NSB sucks. Suck it, floridiot.

12 03 2010
Sheapez

@Tupat maybe 15 comments about me. The other 100 are declaring there love/jealously of chas smith.

12 03 2010
Randomrandomness

The next person I hear say the word “ginger” I will punch in the larynx. It freaks me out how quickly words evolve.

Remember in 2005 when the whole “butterface” craze was going on? That pissed me off too. BTW, Septer-head was always better than “butterface”

2008 had Douchebag
2010 its definitely “ginger”

Fuck you ginger (the word)

I need some bacon

12 03 2010
Mike

Hey Shea, since you’re still with us….

Why didn’t the momentum generation challenge Kelly? Chris Brown, Shane Beschen and Andy were brief competitors at different times, but to the outside perspective, everyone else rolled over until Andy. You entered half way through that run, why did it play out that way?

What do you think of this years tour schedule? Is a 2 1/2 month break 3 contests into the year good from your standpoint…. as a competitor? Does that kill the tours momentum and isn’t the southern hemisphere late fall a swell magnet that the ASP should take advantage of, not bail?

If Rip Curl wasn’t based in Torquay, would Bells still ring CT?

Thanks

13 03 2010
sheapez

Mike,
How can I not? The entertainment and educational value alone warrants my time here, and, as a bonus to my subscription, I also receive .MOV files from Mailman documenting his herculean sex life from his good old days . The quality isn’t the best, but from what I can tell Mailman at a younger age resembles Paul Fisher. Almost looks like he’s cut & pasted videos of Fisher he found on the internet and is attempting to pass them off as his own…Fisher was just in Argentina.

News flash Mike–Kelly is the greatest athlete of all time!
Kelly’s momentum gen buddies were definitely more than happy to ride his coattails through his first run. Beschen was the only one during that time with enough skill, but more importantly with the ability to match Kelly’s intensity and focus at an event. AI was the first person to be better than Kelly in every type of conditions. AI’s three world titles was not a brief run. For Kelly’s goal of 10 he has to face a handful of guys that are better than him. Not to mention the small wave gyrators and big wave masochists he will come up against through the year.
The ASP has 99 problems and luckily for everyone who gives a fcuk there’s still a tour. A tour that despite the economic situation the prize money has risen. Hopefully changes can be made in the future to address a few of those 99 problems.
If Winkipop was called Lower Bells the contest would be there every year. As surfing progressed Upper Trestles events moved to Lower Trestles. Rip Curl needs to get with the program and Search out the more hi-fi wave. The future of the sport depends on it!

13 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Enoch,
After indulging in one of my favorite pastimes (yes, cut & paste) with some of your comments about Happy Gilmore over at ASL, I’m sorry to report that they didn’t make the cut there either. I am actually amazed that in a country where ‘cunt’ is a relatively acceptable word in the common vernacular that your comments would face such harsh censorship… Go figure.

13 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Boys,
First of all, thank you for taking so much interest in the impending doom of my sex life. You are really a very thoughtful and caring bunch. But fear not. As a few of you have already pointed out, I live in France and am marrying a half-French, half-Argentine woman. The phrase ‘Latin lover’ does not only pertain to Don Quixote-like men. It also applies to the ladies, and never seems to go out of style.
Anyway, as a high-schooler on the varsity water polo team, as a late-teen/early 20 something surfer in the most raging fraternity at UCLA and during my 2 years at University of Bordeaux, then as a mid-20 something Californian ex-pat teaching surfing in the Southwest of France, I had more than my fair share of gratuitous fornicating with sexy little vixens. Been there. Done that.
I am more than happy with my current “sexy time” schedule with my Puma fiance (older than a pussy cat, younger than a cougar). Yes, our parental duties do throw a spanner in the works sometimes, but that’s what “nap time” is for! We’ve been together (exclusively!) for over 4 years now and 14 months with the little one, so I don’t see things changing much until menopause (in about 20 years time)!
Also, what’s with all the blow-job hysteria? I know it’s Cali Girl and all her friends’ go to move, to avoid taking their panties off and having to spread their legs, but that’s no excuse for putting it up on a pedestal like that. I get way more excited busting out the bottle of lube and getting down to the business end of things! However, since you twisted my arm, my last one was February 7th at 1:10pm (I checked the date and time on the .MOV file to be sure). So fine, it blew my mind!
OK, Mike, now you can go paddle out at Hammonds to vent some frustration, and Enoch, I just spoke to your mom. You have her permission to unlock the trunk next to the water heater in your basement abode and play with your collection of vintage Hustler magazines. But only for 30 minutes. Any longer and you might aggravate your carpal tunnel syndrome, and the nurses at the hospital don’t want to see you in there anymore! FWAP, FWAP, FWAP…

13 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Hey EW,

This is an ANONYMOUS POST FROM STAB:

“anyone else wack off over Steph? I reckon she would be a maddy in the sack…
Sophia Mulluponhertits…little pocket rocket would cream i reckon..”

Please tell, my good man! What exactly did you write that was any more sexist and offensive than that?

13 03 2010
Dave Mailman

EW,
Scratch that last question. I was just scrolling around in the earlier comments on this thread and found what you tried to post about Happy. Yes, much worse than above. Hilarious actually. And available exclusively here on Nugable! Steve is so proud.
Also, I’m sure you were joking, but I googled Dennis Miller for you, just in case you weren’t. I remember him from his SNL days, but had no idea he’d gone over to the Dark Side of the Force since then… I’m sure calling you Jon Stewart would be a much fairer comparison.

WIKIPEDIA SAYS:

Dennis Miller (November 3, 1953) is a 5-time Emmy winning American stand-up comedian, political commentator, actor, sports commentator, and television and radio personality. He is known for his critical assessments laced with pop culture references. He rose to fame as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in 1985, and subsequently hosted a string of his own talk shows on HBO, CNBC and in syndication. He currently hosts a daily, three-hour, self-titled talk radio program, nationally syndicated by Westwood One.
In recent years, Miller has become known for his right-wing political opinions, emphasizing a hawkish stance on U.S. military action and supporting Republican presidential candidates. He is a regular political commentator on Fox News Channel’s The O’Reilly Factor in a segment called “Miller Time,” and previously appeared on the network’s Hannity & Colmes in a segment called “Real Free Speech.”

13 03 2010
Dave Mailman

OK. Will someone else please pick up the ball and run with it?!?
Damn! I forgot, you’re all asleep right now.
Wake up, guys…. Hey, GUYS! Wake UP! No seriously… WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!
I hope you all didn’t drink too much at the TGIF parties you attended. It’s going to be a long, boring Saturday for me if you did.
Actually, scratch that. There’s the 6 Nations Rugby tournament on today and a BBQ party at a friends house, so it’s OK, you can go back to bed. You have time to sleep it off. I won’t be back until dinner time (CET), when you’ll be gently sipping your first bloody Marys. See you then!

13 03 2010
The Nug

You guys are crazy. I’m going surfing (which probably means drinking a coffee on the key and deciding it’s too small).

Here’s a link to the ‘baas David vs. Rip Curl story. http://kurungabaa.net/2010/03/12/david-vs-rip-curl-by-stephen-shearer/

13 03 2010
Elwood

@ Mike & Mark,

Doesn’t Cuba have world class Government health care??

13 03 2010
Mike

Sure does Elwood, sure does…. like everywhere else in the developed world.
The US policy on Cuba is inhumane…. unless we’re using the corner of THEIR island for inhumane treatment (torture).

Dave, don’t get too bloated over yourself mr poon! We all thought that party was guaranteed, though you did avoid the American chick quicksand.

Thanks for the answers Shea, but I think Andy won because of his heart, not his talent. Beschen had the anger, Andy had it… mob and Dorian, not so much. That’s why Joel and Taj are challenged, too good a life and Mick eats em up with drive.

Cool to have #11 in the house!

13 03 2010
Mike

Wow, Mailman and Fish together, slapping sticks against some innocent drunk tour groupie who doesn’t yet realize she hasn’t “networked” into the top 44!
Keep those tapes Shea, once Davies Puma stops purring he’ll need the inspiration.

Sheapez, what about this year’s tour schedule?

Dave thinks it’s the bomb, everything ASP is puuuurrrrrfect. From the viewers seat, extremely flawed, but there I go “hating” again. Why is logical inquiry “hate”?

The ASP is like the Bush Administration…. driving off the cliff with a very good product (US standard of living) that needs desperate attention. Don’t criticize the president during a time of war unless he becomes black! And in this parallel universe (ASP and USA), Dave is our beloved Scott Mc Clelland…. walking lock step with corporate fascism.

Nothing like a stiff north wind ruining high tide to bring out the cynic in me.
Hope you’re enjoying your coffee while you wait for bolsa gems Nug.

PS, if you want to score, Mark found a sandbank in plain sight that is all time. Get on it Elwood, Callibammy can only catch so many waves and it’s right in your hood.

13 03 2010
sheapez

Sorry to say but AI in his prime was a better surfer. He definitely had the heart of a champion and could draw from a limitless amount of anger. Heat strategy was lacking but that’s when he fell back on the raw ability.
Seems like everyone wants their event at the begining of the year when the hype machine is in full effect, or end of the year when a possible title showdown is unfolding. I personally liked traveling to two events, coming home for a break and then hitting the road again.

13 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Sorry the north wind blew your session and bummed your high, Mike. Go drink a Stella and reconnect with your inner flower child instead!
Much love from France!
Davo

13 03 2010
Mike

I’m checking out for the southern hemi fall Davo, something your tour should consider. I’ll be raising a Lions Red in your honor within 48 hours mate.

Shea, I was inferring that the new schedule’s 3 month hiatus 3 contests into it kills the tours momentum and doesn’t take advantage of the best season of surf. The break between Bells and JBay is a poor decision ( I meant to exclude Brazil Dave). By the time they get to chopes, there will be some kind of cut and who knows what that means. Brody better score big Tahiti or this tour is doomed.

Funny how many of you are big Andy fans. Never thought his surfing was anywhere near as fluid as it could be, more positional. He dominated his run, for sure, but I thought it was all drive. Marriage and a spare tire (belly) extinguished the flame and his Snapper “performance” was more than rusty. The cutting edge has left him waaaaaaaaay behind while Kelly still runs his boards through his rocker and all over his rail.

13 03 2010
#11

Mike,
A 3 month break will definitely be a bummer. Especially with the Souther Hemisphere throwing swell out to numerous world class waves. AI and Cory came onto the tour and went bigger and deeper at the reef breaks, as well as faster and more aggressive in the beachbreaks. AI won three titles, Cory struggled with his backside at mush pointbreaks. Kelly is way ahead of AI now, their performances at snapper showed that. I’ve watched AI bounce back from way worse though and wouldn’t be surprised at all if he still had another run in him, I think Cory might still have some competitive drive left in him also. Tour needs veterans like them pushing the new guys to their peak performances

13 03 2010
Gath Helmet

When was Slater’s prime? We all know when AI’s began and ended.

I think that quells any argument about AI being better than Slater.

13 03 2010
skeletor

When was slater’s prime……hmmmm let me see, how about 1990-present.

Who wins: 4-6 ft. trestles good conditions

slater vs. beschen / archy / fletcher / irons / parko / mick / dane / curren / ward / lopez’s / curran / hobgood’s / knox

13 03 2010
skeletor

the year for the contest could range 1990- 2009.

13 03 2010
Mike

Pretty hard to argue with the 2 dominant decades boys.

And consider that Kelly was retired when Andy started his run.

Occy and Sunny can thank Kelly for retiring as well. Santa Claus Slater gifted those two “lifetime acheivement awards” as much as world titles.

You were there Sheapez, what’s your take?

13 03 2010
Mike

Can’t remember what flick #11, but you guys were killing a french shorebreak… if I remember correctly, Andy won that year in throaty beach break. Good section. Maybe a Lost film.

Trouble with an AI return is the field is deeper than I can remember and everyone in the top ten seems ultra solid. Guys are hitting their strides at the wrong time for comebacks…. especially slow.

13 03 2010
Gath Helmet

By my math, Slater won more titles when he wasn’t even in his prime, than AI did in total.

AI was like Nadal to Federrer. An enhancement to a legend that didn’t have the gas to take it all the way.

And if Slater never existed, AI would be challenging Curren for the Best Ever title.

14 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,

Kelly is Superman. Andy is Batman. That’s why so many of us prefer AI to Kelly, less superhero powers, but more bad-ass, even though you, Gath Helmet and skeletor are correct as to Kelly’s dual decade dominance. Actually, I agree with you, but still pick Andy as my personal favorite.

Anyway, have fun in the land of the long white cloud! You regular or goofy? My goofy-footed brother loves that place!

14 03 2010
Randomrandomness

I don’t believe in multi-taking. Do one thing, move on to the next. To me multi-tasking is half-assing.

14 03 2010
skeletor

So pick the one year slater and irons hit their respectives prime.

take them to pipe, chope, snapper, j-bay, cloudbreak, g-land, trestles, rincon, backdoor and sebastian. use sunset as a tie breaker if needed.

I say kelly takes 8 of 10.

14 03 2010
Mike

Unlike my politics, I ride both directions with equal satisfaction Davey. Your brother has found the obvious stash, but the treasures are there for the adventurous at heart. Even though I’ve enjoyed the surf camp thing, discovery of fresh horizons is a key to invigoration. As you get on in age, you want fresh.

Living in the land of right points, I can’t wait to go heel edge and break out my pig doggy dog. Maybe throw a layback in the shade on an open one. Life is not a dress rehearsal boys.

As for Slater and Andy, it was nice to see them go after each other for the brief relevant period. Andy’s lifestyle has been much more radical, Kelly kept it clean and simple probably adding to his longevity.

Watching Andy in his round one heat was hard… paddling in vain against the current of both snapper and youth. Retirement with dignity. That’s why it’s important to make long term financial decisions when you’re earning wealth. I think this “comeback” has more to do with lost straws than new found vigor and financial urgency is a desperate motivator. Not too many people perform well desperate. We’ll see.

Bruce made a similar choice, but Vco has less talent to replace him as their Icon… even if his films are contrived messages of false rebellion.( Dude cruise is an exercise in unwatchable self indulgence)

The business of sports will mirror other business as wealth contracts. There is a mute game of financial musical chairs happening and only so many empty seats left. Andy choose bad timing to “retire” and his three titles are all that keeps him from being odd man out.

14 03 2010
Elwood

Nice comment Mike

I’ve always been fascinated by the darker side of surfing. How many incredibly talented and colorful personalities the sport has had…. most of which have struggled to function back in the real world.

The American Mag’s have kept most of these stories outa the press. And I suppose there is a legit argument as to why….

However, I think the whole idea of selling the dream to the youth about fame and fortune is a dis-service to our youth. Certainly, it is my/our jobs as parents to not let kids get to sucked into the dream of being a surf star. But it also comes at the price of sounding like a nay-sayer.

I have kids that surf well and I have to constantly tell them and their friends that there is almost “0” chance that they have a future in it. I get grief from many of the little league surf dads who want to live vicariously through their kids.

I’ve been around surfing talent for a long long time, and I surf regularly in SD from 33’s to DMJ’s and there is not one kid around that is even close to having world class talent…. it’s just a fact.

What’s even scarier than that is all the youth movement that is plastered all over the mag’s and surf shops… I have serious doubts if any of them will even become elite world class talent…. they will just be replaced by some new kid in several years and then what?

14 03 2010
mark

@Elwood

Are you the dad whose kid got dropped in on by Dale Dobson at Swami’s 2 weeks ago and got into a big hassle over the entire thing?

I watched the entire situation develop and it made me want to play more tennis and surf less.

P.S. Stay away from my new sandbar Elwood.

14 03 2010
Elwood

Not one of my kids…. probably one of their friends.

Sand??? where ???… the worst long-shore trenches I’ve seen in a long time.

14 03 2010
mark

@Elwood

North of 33’s, south of D.M.J.’s, east of Cortez Bank and just west of……. a town with some cool bars and taco shops and surf shops and stuff.

14 03 2010
Elwood

@ Mark…. I’ll look for you at George’s…. what kinda board do you ride.

14 03 2010
mark

Nice try E and thanks for playing but……..not quite. However Charlies did have a killer sunset happy hour during it’s heyday.

And I ride a 6 inch thick 13’4″ S.U.P. with a 7 foot paddle, webbed gloves, a hood, booties and an oversize Gath helmet with an Alabama Crimson Tide sticker on it.

Yourself?

14 03 2010
Elwood

I ride one of Linda Benson’s old longboards…. now that she is the numero uno local in Encinitas and Swami’s.

Mark… fyi… I was feeling you when I threw out the bait on Cuba health-care…. was waiting for something along the lines of : “we are heading down the same path… world class health care for all but everything else a complete f….ing disaster”.

14 03 2010
mark

I pay roughly $700 a month for what I consider pretty damn good health insurance for myself and my wife and daughter. Pre-tax so it is roughly the same as if I paid $500 a month net.

Someone with no kids can get health insurance for $200 a month or less. The key is to get a higher deductible so your monthly premium is affordable but you are still handled in the event of cancer, stroke or S.U.P. paddle puncture wound from surfing anywhere near Gerry Lopez.

It seems suspect to alter roughly 10 percent of the American economy based on number projections that any reasonably astute person would admit are pretty shaky, especially considering the bleak budget picture on a Federal level and particularly here in California.

And when you consider the shady methods used by our current administration to get this bill passed you cannot help but feel uneasy about the entire program.

And how about the provision for adding a 40 percent tax on the top health insurance plans ( 28k a year or more in value ) but exempting union members from having to pay that until 2018? Is that fair?

Or what about initiating the taxes that will pay for this immediately but no one recieves any of the benefits until 2014? Who couldn’t present a balanced budget plan when the revenue starts 3 and a half full years before the expenditures are due.

Oh yeah Elwood one more hint about the spot. Brent Frohoff and Gabby Reece would hang there.

14 03 2010
mark

The point of my rambling comment is that if you value health insurance for yourself or your family then it isn’t THAT difficult to work hard and pay for it.

14 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@mark,

I thought you said you had a point?

14 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@mark,

I waited a few moments for a response, but none came. I guess my own point is this:

A staunch conservative arguing with a staunch liberal is like two passively-effeminate inmates arguing about the size of their fellow cellmate’s cock sizes. The more you brag, the larger your butthole gapes. In the end, you are both trapped in an oppressive system, run by aspiring dictators, while you vainly attempt to out-boast yourselves as to how mighty your preferred method of anal intrusion is to your fellow inmate’s.

Which, come to think of it, explains the late Likebitchin.com to a tee.

Let’s give the asshole’s a break.

Let’s talk about something important… like your mom.

Or, Dave Mailman’s impending contract with castration.

15 03 2010
Elwood

Nice

15 03 2010
T

I lived in America my entire life. At age 25 I married a foreigner and she moved here. I had no healthcare and neither did she.

She recieved a work visa and within six month was enrolled in a workplace insurance plan.

Moral my lazy American Ass was not willing to compromise my time for a job that provided benefits.

( that and i am not a woman who can pump out babies in order to gain medical eligibilty from State programs)

SHOULD MY LAZINESS BEEN REWARDED???? WITH YOUR (anyone paying taxes) MONEY???

15 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I stuck my wee wee in a toaster oven once.

15 03 2010
Mark's Mom

Hey Enoch,

That was no toaster gaddamit. That was my butthole you beastly creature.

Now, as The Laird told Satan, “Get thee back behind me… again!”

We’ll even let Eddie film it this time.

XoXo,

MM

16 03 2010
Comment Deleted by Jed Smith's Lone Ball

(comment submitted @ Stab a few minutes ago)

Jack D,

Awesome comment dude.

Bobby is a great interview. He’s a good surfer. An awesome backside surfer. And from the quarters on… he stood out, just like you said.

Like a sore thumb.

The slop that final day was held in benefited no one but a hapless Taj. An ass-to-face surfer held no true chance in those conditions. And let’s be real, B-Mart is, at best, a second rate Occy or Sunny Garcia. Which is okay for the ASP Tour and its feeble attempts at taming mediocrity.

But B-Mart is NOT the future of surfing.

He is honey-tasted cheerios.

Perfectly shaped for your teeny weenie.

In addition, I stuck my wee wee in a toaster once.

(Countdown to a ‘moderated comment’ status… 3… 2… 1…)

16 03 2010
ed

@laa

well.. I rather see my (everyone´s) tax money being spent to take care of some lazy ass bum than to be spent helping some freakin rich bankers, or being used by politicians for their own good, corruption, cocaine, or war, any aggressive foreigner policies(cuba?), whores, bad movies..

what does this has to do with catching up with SL though?

17 03 2010
t

your tax money is being spent on lazy ass bums dont worry…….

16 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

New England was underwater this weekend. 10 inches in 48 hours. Seriously, EVERYONE took water. But yes, there was swell. Oh yes.

So back to the Nugable scene. It looks like this is what I missed:

Shea saying there are a handful of guys now better than Kelly. Shea, you don’t actually believe that…you are just trying to motivate the Man to make things interesting.

Mike making the sweet southern sojourn. Fuckin bastard, I hope ya get shacked enough for all of us.

Poor Dave with the old “I’ve banged enough hot young chicks and now I don’t want to anymore” argument. Heh heh. Oh, Dave…

Mark scoring Mission Jetty (or maybe the other side of the harbor…OB jetty), then cutting and pasting Fox talking points from his television…

Elwood with a good point on San Diego. Best surf south of Ventura county and exactly one Bonehead to show for it. For whatever reason, SD just doesn’t produce the productive anger and/or hunger of say, Indian Rocks, Florida.

Enoch successfully getting himself censored with butt and penis jokes.

I think that’s it. Did I miss anything? Nug, are you on the once a week schedule now?

16 03 2010
Swine Flu

OINK !!! OINK!!! dont blame me, Clap got him this time…

16 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Oh wait, Mark said North County…I’m gonna go with Del Mar, south of the rivermouth.

16 03 2010
mark

@Jamon

You are way off.

And the sandbar is already toast anyway. Shoulda been there.

16 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

Last, my damies!!!

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