The Roundup and Quik Pro Open Thread

26 02 2010

....and so it begins. Snapper Rocks. Photo by Joli

This is an open thread for the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast. If you wish, comment as you watch online. (http://www.quiksilverpro.com.au/Home.aspx)  

The Roundup is a compilation of recommended clicks and awesomeness this week in the world of surfing and beyond. If you have any suggestions, links or tips email me at nugable@gmail.com.   

ASP Awards Banquet photo gallery. Dane, Kelly, Mick, Joel, Jordy, Fish, Bam, Coco, Gilmore and significant others get all dressed up (almost).
(Transworld)     

Just another clown with a surf blog.
(Surfer Magazine)     

Before Lewis Samuels men lived in caves, had yet to invent the wheel and had to read cumbersome paper magazines with annoying advertisements.
(Coastalwatch)   

Charlie Smith opines on Snapper’s Eve. “The Dane and Jordy know what they must do to win this year. They have cut their teeth. Their horns are no longer green. They will win lots, both of them, and when they win it is exciting because Dane surfs crazy and Jordy parties crazy. And Dane is crazy.”
(Surfing Magazine)    

A fantastic interview with Surfing’s Travis Ferre.
(Runamuk Visuals)    

Mexico, Kelly, Dane, Julian and an HD camera that rolls off 1000 frames per second.
(976 Surf)    

Jed “The Greek” Smith uses the word Negro and then says he’s sorry.
(Stab Magazine)  

The Edsel, the Pinto and now Fantasy Surfer. I think they have Toyota engineers working on a fix now.
(Fantasy Surfer

Bobby being Bobby. Finally. An ESPN Surfing post I read in its entirety without nodding off after the first paragraph. Congratulations fellas.
(The Mickey Mouse Club)   

I have no idea where River Oaks is but I just might move there.
(Craigslist via Major League Jerk)

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341 responses

26 02 2010
Jamie O

Contest? The boogers at Pipe today? It’s gonna be 10 foot here. I’m waiting for the sun to come up and gonna get a few before they take over.

26 02 2010
The Nug

Jamie,

I thought you were the new ASP Head Judge?

26 02 2010
Andrew long

Jamie is my prize and I will make him a super star

26 02 2010
Mike

“maybe I exaggerated, I’m not that humble”….

26 02 2010
smyrnajeff

Man, my asshole hurts this morning. The last thing I remeber is partyin’ with Gorkin and Kech…I must have blacked out from all those pibbers. Oh…what’s this? A twenty dollar bill in my shirt pocket…cool!

26 02 2010
KevNYC

River Oaks is a ritzy area of Houston.

26 02 2010
The original Jimmy Football

Did Nug drop a Bunk Moreland on us?

26 02 2010
Elwood

@ Nug,

we commenting on your Blog for contest commentary or you advocating us jumping over to Quik’s ??

26 02 2010
smyrnajeff

smyrnajeff at 8:41 is obviously not me.

and besides gorkin os on a phota shoot in nicaragua and kech is training the ESA grom squad for the spring shootout up at hatteras.

anyone heard from mark?

26 02 2010
Mike

Fuck providing Quik with free comedy Elwood!

They won’t publish most of the shit that hits this fan anyway.

Wow, a Lewis Samuels interview where he doesn’t condescend his Post Surf “audience”. Best interview I’ve read in a while, although the Nug’s is pretty similar and funny to boot. Maybe the difference between Surfer and Surfline…. razor thin.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

**patiently twittling my fingers**

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mike,

“Wow, a Lewis Samuels interview where he doesn’t condescend his Post Surf ‘audience’…”

We were just ‘monkeys,’ remember?!

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

@Enoch

I believe it was ‘chipanzees’

26 02 2010
Angry Chimp

When d’fuck iz diz contest gonna start? I keep staring at my screen, but nothing is happening.

**scratches head… then ears… then balls**

Hmmmm. Maybe if I poke the screen…

26 02 2010
mark

Now I know why Lewis Samuels doesn’t like me.

I have more than 2 kids!

26 02 2010
Jimmy the greek

Watch My movie on ESPN, 30 and 30 series, its pretty interesting.

26 02 2010
The Nug

Just had the worst session in months. Been watching too much curling and hockey or something. Australia is 600 hours ahead of Calif. time. It’s Tuesday there or Thursday. Not sure. The Sun revolves around the Gold Coast. There is no gravity in Coolangatta.

It’s still not tooo late to pass the hat around and fly me to OZ.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Jed “The Greek” Smith was brilliant Nug.

I think that may stick.

L to the muthafuckin’ mfao!

26 02 2010
The Nug

I think Jed may actually be Greek.

Dave Stanfield is preparing for the webcast by eating vanilla ice cream, ironing his Quiksilver T-shirt and watching a Bob Costas highlight reel.

26 02 2010
Global cooling

internets down down under…?

26 02 2010
Key

Comps not on yet. Check it on coastalwatch.com.au
Don’t get excited, looks cack. But God I’m keen.

26 02 2010
Global cooling

appreciate that. How hard is it for quick to type up an update along the lines of “contest on hold till 8” or something. The inconsistent quality of these webcasts, in particular the lack of updating has always been frustrating.

26 02 2010
quik

Sorry we are busy putting up the ON-SITE Store for all your clothing needs

26 02 2010
Pleas GOD NO

NUG your a funny guy and all but please tell me your kidding about stansfield?? if he announces im going to listen to PRINCE the whole time……………

26 02 2010
The Nug

I think it starts at 2:30 Pacific, 5:30 Confederate/Eastern time. So, about a half hour.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I wonder if Peter Mel read my piece on he and Dave Mailman’s call at Pipe?

His commentary is usuall pretty solid. He is no Cote though.

Anything but Stansfield or Luke Egan (Bong contests).

26 02 2010
The Nug

3, 2, 1… It’s on.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Dane’s first wave was a 10!

He’s going all the way this year!! The new champ!

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Ooops. Got my decimal places wrong.

Damn dislexia.

26 02 2010
Jamie O

when is the curling final?

26 02 2010
The Nug

Simpo should get an 8. He might win this heat.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

The curling final is during heat number 14. Seriously, look at that draw and try staying awake.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Is that the Gudauskas Brothers being interviewed, or Spinal Tap?

Seriously. What is that blong thing?

26 02 2010
Mike

is the surf happening or will Julians commercial be the goal?

26 02 2010
Global cooling

As usual, Dane falling and causing me stress.

26 02 2010
Seaman Staines

I’m heading down there now to take that board off Dane for the rest of the contest.

26 02 2010
Global cooling

Where’s the love for prostate cancer Julian?? More lethal than breast cancer.

26 02 2010
Mike

Wow, Dane looks motivated

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Dane looks like he’s got the eye of the tiger… meow.

26 02 2010
Mike

Lewis said something that I have broiled for saying…

My premise was child bearing was the height of ego, limit the herd.

Maybe he pulled that from my posts!

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Let’s not be too hard on Dane. It is tough to surf well when your heart yearns for a canvas, paint brush, and beret.

26 02 2010
The Nug

Did Simpo just a get a 4.0 for that tube? Really?

26 02 2010
Mike

God scores a losers round trip…. he’ll be back at the Dredge by Monday morning….

26 02 2010
Mike

Yeah Nug, Simpo was robbed…. now if he rode for quik?

26 02 2010
Mike

If Ronnie’s assuming GT’s role, he needs Enoch’s beret and a colorful scarf and fish’s microphone.

26 02 2010
Global cooling

Brett was barely barreled – points were rightly held up due to inability to put on the brakes.

Somebody needs to intervene with Dane and his board choices and tell him he doesn’t get any extra credit for riding short flat boards. And the kicking out of waves that still have much scoring potential is ala Andy Irons in ’08…a bad sign…

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

Good job by Simpo for his first WCT heat.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Ronnie is just so damn handsome. I am questioning the feelings I’m having in my loinular region.

Quick, somebody post some naked pictures of girls.

26 02 2010
Mike

Question Enoch….

Is Masterbating Gay?

26 02 2010
Global cooling

but a good sign is that he appeared really pissed while talking to Enoch’s boyfriend

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

Hehe…Dane is funny.

@Mark-

Please say your jids names aren’t Fidel, Frank, Jeff, etc., etc.

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

@Mike 3:12-

Huh??

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mike,

Masterbating is not gay if you’re thinking about girls or small farm animals. Or if you are married (because let’s face it, how ELSE are you going to get any?)

My personal favorite at the moment is thinking about Lyndie Irons.

May I just say that I would dine upon her knolls of suppleness after sprinkling them with purified water and anointing oils from a cup of gilded chalcedony while beat boxing to Handel’s Concerti Grossi and diddling all eight orifices of three medium sized Caribbean geckos.

Because I’m ambidextrous like that.

26 02 2010
Mike

YOur still holding a throbbing dick with a death grip….

Does it matter if you’re wearing a wedding ring?

I wear no ring, but live in the same boat ):

Word to the wise kids, buy the cow (marriage) and give up on the milk.

26 02 2010
Mike

Why’s Damien riding a gun?

26 02 2010
Mike

Mikol Picon: “Jeremy is healthy now and has lost some weight”…

I knew his weight problem was to blame!

Ronnie Blakely: “uuuhhhhh, well, uuuuhhhhh, he’s looking fit and focused, uhhhhhhhhh”

26 02 2010
Dave Mailman

We’re with ya’ on that one Rott, mate!

26 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Is it just me, or is it a bit of a disappointment to kick off the comp in small, fat burgers? Hope the tide drops fast, and that Huey sends ’em some swell!
Are we all enjoying Pottz and Pete Mel?

26 02 2010
Mike

Bring on Cote, Lopez and Grey

26 02 2010
The Nug

My laptop is shit or is this webcast stalling? If my name were Dane or Kelly everyne would be talking about my shit Laptop selection. Good thing this is a non elimination round.

What did I miss? Can’t wait for the tide to drop. I mean that’s the problem. When it drops it’s going to be better than JBay last summer except naked Brazilian supermodels will wash up on the beach.

26 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Touché, Mike! Alex Grey has the best attitude of any pro out there. Lopez, what more can you say. As for Coté, as long as he’s sober, he’s bearable. Love the little bugger, but… Yeah, I’m just jealous. Hmmmmmm.

26 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Nug,
You, like me, probably don’t have the latest version of flash player. Just going to have to click on the “high” button, and watch it in lower res, without stalls or buffering…. Too bad we don’t live in Australia where we could watch every heat live on FUEL TV. Hmmmmmmm.

26 02 2010
Mike

Tides on the rise again and there’s no wind….

Gotta go, read ya soon

26 02 2010
Dave Mailman

OK Mike. You win. Not nearly exciting enough to get me to pull an all-nighter. Guess I’ll just have to watch heats on demand tomorrow… Hmmmmmm.

PS: Jeremy and Tiago through to round 3. Go the Euroforce! Both of them will be on my Fantasy Surfer team whenever they get the site up and running. Hmmmmm again.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I am jealous. They are at a beach, enjoying the smell of salt air, sunblock, mojitos and date rape. I am in my basement enjoying the heady musk of mildew, cat piss and recently deployed room foggers.

26 02 2010
mark

looks fun to me.

i tought tanner gudang looked pretty good and that six point something from cj was impressive as well some good rail carves from tiago.

kelly comin up!

26 02 2010
Elwood

Just got dialed into the comp.

As predicted, the goofies are struggling to get higher than a 5 on waves that have 7-8 potential.

Watch Slater and we’ll see… I say his heat score is in the 16’s

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

How was that wave by Sl9er????

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

8.5 for that wave??? Psssshhhht. Reward progression? My ass.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

O.M.G.

Jordy Smith does not pull off that look well. He looks like an erect Yeti’s cock. Believe me… I should know.

26 02 2010
Elwood

It’s vintage Kelly… he knows he can breeze through this heat with his bread and butter moves.

26 02 2010
The Nug

The headline for the ASP Press release tomorrow will say ‘Kelly Slater Cures Cancer and Ends Worldwide Recesssion With Another Historic Dream Tour performance.’

26 02 2010
12 steps to sobriety

dude is pete mel tweaking?

somethings fishy down under.

26 02 2010
buccaneer

sweet.Kelly is owning it! we havn’t seen the over hyped aussies yet,but if Kellys having fun he should beat the shit out of everyone. At least with Kelly you are going to see something interresting.Hope I can stay awake thru Fannings heat.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Condor is mos def tweaking or on the sauce.

Speaking of which, I need to go visit the fridge.

Brb.

26 02 2010
buccaneer

Oh yeah,where are the fucking re-plays of waves ridden? They must have the guys from fantasy surfer working the production.FUCK!

26 02 2010
lazer®

How did “doggie door” and “chandelier” make their way into surfing’s lexicon? It fucking kills me every time an announcer uses one of these phrases.

26 02 2010
lazer®

Dimunitive Garret Parkes’ journey through Mordor may well be a dangerous one, but luckily he can draw on the wisdom of Pat Gudauskas of Mirkwood for guidance.

26 02 2010
Elwood

Todd Kline… can somebody please sperm-wash him outa here… he can go hang with G.T. at some bath house.

Mick—- Ripping – absolutely. Progression — not even close.

They outa have a separate contest for the goofies… they have 0 chance in these conditions.

26 02 2010
mark

who cares about mod coll when you see mick fuckin layin it on a RAIL!

and how was that gurgling hole he snuck into?

world champ indeed.

26 02 2010
mark

cannot WAIT for andy’s heat.

26 02 2010
lazer®

Mick knows how to win. Simple as that. Fast, powerful, committed, and a body to die for.

Wait. Forget the last part.

26 02 2010
lazer®

mark: I concur re: Andy. Would be even better if it were two feet bigger and offshore.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I took a nap during Mick’s heat. What’d I miss?

26 02 2010
Elwood

Just replay any of his heats from the last 5 years here

26 02 2010
Mike

Blake Ainsworth?

I take it Kelly took care of biz.

Warming up with a hot tea and shower, time to get drowzy watching Kekoa pull into closeouts.

Man, does joel finish turns or what?

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Elwood,

Now I remember why I fell asleep. I guess it beats counting sheep.

26 02 2010
Mike

Fuck, an interview supercedes a Campbell major tube.

This is bullshit, follow the surfing!

Hey Mailman, don’t you guys ever discuss this shit?

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Hey the Yeti’s cock is about to surf!

And yeah, the camera’s have missed some vital shit today.

26 02 2010
mark

how was THAT!!!!

did you see the jordy nipple shot in the background as he was stretching during snakes interview with kekoa?

CLASSIC!!!!!!

26 02 2010
Mike

Hey Enoch,

I’m popping the cork on my first stella of the night! I don’t have an evil twin, but maybe it’s time to scrounge one up and set this shit on fire.

Tell ya what EW, let’s see who gets mentioned on air first!

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

Did Andy surf yet? (No access tonite:(

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mike,

I’ll try, but they hate me. If I get Cote or Mailman, then it’s a lock. But these guys aren’t going to give me a chance. Then again, if you saw the things I posted there…

26 02 2010
mark

you would think o’neil would coin up and have jordys nipples reset at the proper spacing.

oh well yet another tragic consequence of the obama recession.

26 02 2010
lazer®

Enoch Ward & Elwood: If you’d pop the collective cocks of Dane and Co. out of your mouths for a second, you might be able to see Mick and Andy destroy the field.

26 02 2010
Mike

Damn bede is solid….

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Lazer,

I hope for all our sakes that Andy doesn’t embarrass himself out there like he has for the last two years.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

And Lazer,

If you read my comments earlier about Dane, I’m not sure that cock was so deep in my mouth. The tip? Maybe. But not the whole shaft, and certainly not the balls.

26 02 2010
Mike

Me too Enoch…. red flag.

Cambell tube, sweet.

Sick takeoff by yellow.

Kinda preoccupied by a naked saffa Marky, why don’t you at least troll the cub scouts under one of your ingenious aliases?

26 02 2010
lazer®

I confess I didn’t see his heat, but judging from his score I’d say he’s putting far too much thought into his mustache and not enough toward less hip things like a strategy.

26 02 2010
Mike

Me too as in Quik commenting EW…

As for your three way with God and Elwood, I think lazer has your number….

26 02 2010
lazer®

Does anyone know how Bede’s audition for Geico spokesman went?

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Yep, he called me four times last night asking for a booty call.

26 02 2010
lazer®

Jordy runs like Chas Smith the morning after a night of Vodka and Red Bulls with Jamie O’Brien.

26 02 2010
Mike

Easy prey, the girls behind Andy

26 02 2010
Elwood

@ Lazer

Whits takes out Andy in these conditions.

26 02 2010
lazer®

I’d eat a kernel of undigested corn from Reuben Studdard’s asshole if Andy doesn’t win his heat.

26 02 2010
Mike

Now that’s confidence Lazer…

26 02 2010
Mike

How will Taylor fuck this gift of a draw up?

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

@Lazer-

Hehehe…brillince.

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

That should have been ‘brilliance”…and I’ll be waiting by the tip of my cock for news on Andy’s heat..since nobody had the common dececy to answer my questio 😦

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

That was supposed to be ‘decency’…GAAWDDAMMIT!!

26 02 2010
mark

reuben studdard is from birmingham, alabama.

just sayin.

26 02 2010
Mike

Tsnake- Andy’s heat is next

26 02 2010
Elwood

Nice F Bomb for T. Knox… my new favorite surfer

26 02 2010
Mike

Yeah TAylor!

26 02 2010
Mike

Fire the director and let a chimp take over…

26 02 2010
trauzersnake

@Mike-

Thanks.I’ll be glued…that didn’t come out right….

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I would not want to be Laser right now.

… or ever come to think of it.

*Wink wink nudge nudge*

26 02 2010
lazer®

Good thing I brought chopsticks…

26 02 2010
Mike

Better get Ruben on the phone….. conference call I suggest!

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Uggghhh. Sad.

Andy, just walk away with your head held high. You had your run. It was stellar. But…

It’s… over Johnny.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

You’re a good sport Lazer.

And a funny, witty mu’fucker to boot.

Chin up son!

26 02 2010
Elwood

Next heat… Pierrow, Ross, Munro….. gonna jump over to You Jizz…. be back in 30

26 02 2010
lazer®

I disagree. Mainly because I still believe in Andy, but also because the conditions are borderline contestable. Not a good start for the Dream Tour.

But I’ll admit it, his last chop-hop made me throw up a little bit.

26 02 2010
Mike

Hey Dave Mailman…

I have a quiz for you…

“Does the NFL ever miss plays?”

Apparently surfing does.

26 02 2010
Apollo Ohno

Hey guys, I MIRACULOUSLY made it to the semifinals.

26 02 2010
Mike

The current killed Andy.

26 02 2010
lazer®

No joke, the foam climb is possibly the most underrated maneuver in surfing. It’s HARD.

‘Course, I don’t have much practice as I’m usually too busy gettin’ shacked. But still…

26 02 2010
sporadic viewing

did andy look as bad as his scores?

26 02 2010
Mike

Tired and slow… ill prepared and unmotivated. Andy Irons 2010.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Yep, I don’t even bother practicing my foam climbs, as I spend WAYYYY too much time helicoptering through the air. If Kai Neville ever saw me surf, I’d get free blow jobs for life.

Just like Dion Agius and Chas Smith.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mike,

I wouldn’t be too suprised if Dane didn’t go the way of The Brucie by the end of this year. So much talent. So little motivation. Such fragile psyche.

Dane plays the humble artist card.

Brucie plays the vapid egomaniac.

Maybe… hopefully I’m wrong.

26 02 2010
sporadic viewing

sad…so talented. looked like he could lose about 10 pounds – part of the problem I’m guessing.

oh well…old luke munro looks sharp!

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

My wife looked over my shoulder a few moments ago and saw a Ross, Munro, Perrow montage and said, “They’re professionals? They’re the best in the world??”

I said no. I said I was watching the special olympics.

She said, “oh, okay. That’s nice of you.”

26 02 2010
sporadic viewing

here comes owen…who can’t possibly live up to the hype, at least no in these conditions.

26 02 2010
Mike

You’re not wrong about Bruce… EW.

Dude’s a walking contrived image. By a “rebel” corp owned by Citi, JPMorgan and others.

Least volcan’t produced a podcast!

26 02 2010
Mike

Missed another off camera… nice wave Owen… or thanks for the insight Luke.

26 02 2010
Mike

How can they NOT mention the fact they missed a high scoring wave completely… describing it as if we all saw it.

Hey Mailman, is replay technology too expensive for Quiksilver?

26 02 2010
Mike

And again….

Grom interviews are better than heat surfing.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Certainly a day to forget as far as webcasts go.

26 02 2010
sporadic viewing

the webcasts are worse than they were in ’04. How they still manage to miss waves ridden for interviews is beyond me

26 02 2010
Meatwad

can one of you guys explain the difference between “goofy” and “regular” foot I know they have gone through it 5 times but I’m still fuzzy on it

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I think Quik’s goal is to tune into the action about half way through everyone’s tubes.

Last case in point, Freddy P’s barrell.

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

This webcast is like watching porn with no money shot.

Lol @ Meatwad’s comment.

26 02 2010
sporadic viewing

apparently the quick production team has lost the know how to put up a replay as well. on a positive note, the video does appear quite clear.

26 02 2010
Meatwad

fuck at least we got to see a replay on that one.

26 02 2010
Elwood

WTF… heat 15 and our first replay of the day.

26 02 2010
sporadic viewing

as soon as I make that comment…waalaa…replay. hmmmm

26 02 2010
Mike

Fuck you SV, I got one through Quikies screeners…

26 02 2010
Meatwad

Owen Wright the latest saviour of the tour scores a 7.77 in his first heat on tour coincidence?

26 02 2010
Elwood

SInce I aint sticking around for the next heat….

@ Mike…. kinda unfolding just like we called… Kelly, Mick, Bede. Taj kinda choked and Joel played the local card to make it outa his heat….. guaranteed 4 of those 5 in the semi’s.

SOme inspired surfing by Owen and Freddy P. in this heat. Owen’s stance in between turns is a little disturbing.

Patt G. looks like he’s got the goods for some staying power… can see him being a solid mid-pack dude.

Only other thing noteworthy was Mick Campbell’s performance.

On the down note, Not sure what was more of a disaster: Andy, Todd Kline announcing, or Quick’s replay (or lack thereof)

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Owen’s nose is so big that he impales girls when he goes down on them.

26 02 2010
Elwood

No ass eating with that nose.

26 02 2010
Elwood

Who the fuck is Jadson Andre?… that dude has got some game

26 02 2010
Meatwad

yeah but in the “69” his humpty nose could tickle her rear

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Jadson Andre sounds like the name of a power forward for the Orlando Magic. Maybe he is a member of Jed “The Greek” Smith’s ‘super breed.’

26 02 2010
Enoch Ward

In the “69” position, Owen’s nose could pleasure a woman’s ascending colon… perhaps even her esophagus.

That’s talent you can’t teach folks.

26 02 2010
lazer®

I love it

26 02 2010
lazer®

Beautiful.

Are they done for the day?

27 02 2010
PeterPerfect

Hi guys!

Sorry I’m late. I just couldn’t think of anything funny, witty, or incisive to say so I sewed my mouth shut with the taint hairs of Mark’s mother.

I just thought I’d leave this steaming turdpile of a comment to remind you all of the embarrasment to surfing and civilization in general that I am.

Have a wonderful night.

I will now go rape a pair on pantyhose I stole from a deaf whore in Lincoln Park.

27 02 2010
PeterPerfect

Whoops!

That should be “rape a pair OF pantyhose”. {{giggles}} I’ve been grading so many papers from my third grade class that I do believe I’ve taken on their un-enlightened ways.

I’ll be back someday soon when I can think of something completely pointless to say to people who contribute here.

Welp, toodles everyone!!!

OMG, LOL.

27 02 2010
Deep Fried Ham Helmet

At the end of the day, the same question remains. Why even have anyone below the top 10 compete? Year after year. Slater, Mick, Parko, Taj, Adriano, one of the interchangeable Hobgoods, Bede, Reynolds, Smith… and Slater, Mick, Parko, Taj, Adriano, one of the interchangeable Hobgoods, Bede, Reynolds, Smith. There is NO One else that has a chance to win the title. If you think otherwise, you should be institutionalized.

Without a complete overhaul of the rules and thinking of the ASP, this will be your top 10, give or take a surfer or two every year, until our children’s children die.

And another thing… actually, you know what? Who the fuck really cares. Besides boxing (to keep people from killing themselves), any sport that needs a judge to make the final ruling is not really a sport anyways.

Surfing is no different than ice skating from a competitive standpoint.

If I were Mark, I would quit.

But instead, I’m just going to go BIG VIBES BOB on everyone and surf in ALL CAPS MUTHUFUCKAHS!!! YEAH BITCH TWO. CORWALL. BOLINAS. MAKE FUN OF MY READERS. PEFECTPETERSUX MEASS. FUCK*)$ COCKBALLS IN YOREMOUTHNUG. YALLB HATIN MY GAME BUT SHIT ON YOU.

27 02 2010
Mark

Day one recap.

Same old same old but with the worst webcast in years.

On top of that SurferMag didn’t have the Fantasy Surfer site up and running until after round one was over. WTF?

I believe my BFF Dave Mailman pretty much nailed it when he said that the surf industry, like the rest of the world in general, has major moolah issues.

This recession is affecting everyone and everything. I am usually the most positive and upbeat of my friends and family and I am discouraged and worried sick about money and being able to support my family.

Thank God we have someone like Barrack Obama in office who has the experience and knowledge to do the right things to get us out of this mess and not get caught up in partisan bickering.

PSYCHE!

Of course my negativity could stem from 12 days without a beer, bud, dr. pepper or anything with bread attached to it.

FAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

27 02 2010
Mark

Hey Lazer I hope you aren’t planning on surfing Kaisers today.

27 02 2010
Mike

12 days with no bread!… go on Marky, blow off some steam. Thats a gnarly program you’ve taken on, just don’t revert back to pizza’s and 18 packs once you feel better.

27 02 2010
Mike

12:31 PM Santa Barbara Harbor…..

Sandspit is going off!!!!!!!!!!! If you can navigate all the boat wreckages….

27 02 2010
The Nug

@Mark on Atkins

After several minutes of debating internally, I rolled the bones, busted out my abacas and after confering with my consigliere (an 87-year-old Vietnamese man who has a J.R.R. Tolkien shine in his living room), I made my Fantasy Surfer picks.

I’m going to smoke you Mark.

27 02 2010
Deep Fried Ham Helmet

@Jamie O, Lazer, Mark and all the other commentators here from Hawaii. If you haven’t heard the Tsunami sirens already… you will. Head for higher ground brah’s. You are fuuuuuucked!!

Seriously.

E.W.

(can’t login to normal account this morning)

27 02 2010
mark

@Nug

not atkins but similar. tired of letting my weight affect my surfing and overall enjoyment of life.

i will let you know my picks once trading closes at commencment of round 2.

p.s. i could probably take you down right now at a 5 to 7 foot powerful left reef.

27 02 2010
The Nug

At a 5-7 ft. powerful left reef? That’s crazy talk.

27 02 2010
KevNYC

heat 1 mick and garret parkes and kai. mick’s first wave, way overscored. a 6 would be more accurate. and then mick gets a barrel on his second scoring wave, nice barrel, he gets a 9. fair enough, but garret parkes gets only a 4+ for his smaller barrel? anyone?

27 02 2010
sporadic viewing

was there one progressive maneuver executed yesterday? For all the talk of judges getting their act together, it seems to me that the surfers, at least in degraded conditions, lack the ability to go modern collective on most waves. This is why the usual suspects: Kelly, Mick, Joel, etc. will be the only contenders in the end and in the future.

I have seen the future and it is precise figure 8 surfing with floaters thrown in…ala Mick.

27 02 2010
Dave Mailman

If you guys want progressive surfing, they’re going to have to run the comp at D-Bah. Mike, Mark answered your questions about replays, missed waves, etc. at 7:08. It’s all about the money… Just insult me if you need further explanation. Otherwise, I will ASSUME you’ve figured it out for yourself.

27 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Just watched the highlights. At least it picked up a bit for the later heats. Only air of the day from a wildcard? Hmmmmmm.

27 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Tsunami warning cancelled the event today, according to ASP’s website. Anyone in Hawaii still alive? Do they have enough marbles to understand what a tsunami is?

It’s been pouring rain here. Surf is junk. Time to get drunk.

Again.

Cheers!

27 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Cheers to you too, E Dub.

27 02 2010
Mike

Stood in the rain for an hour shooting local points….

No Tsunami, but super fun looking swell beginning to show and if the wind shifts….

Another Media Hoax via Surfline.

What’s with all the Hmmmmmm ing Dave?

I emailed the contest asking if they were shooting a contest or a beach scene, then asked why no replays. Heat 14, they finally broke out the replay machine. If your cameramen doesn’t follow the action, it doesn’t matter Dave. DAve, Dave, Dave…. glad you understand this mess.

Just another telecast that tells potential investors that you(ASP) doesn’t present it’s product well, that it is an amatuer effort.

Dave, could you call them and simply expain to the director that we can “HEAR THE INTERVIEW WHILE WATCHING THE SURFING”. Novel concept, to be sure.

“Whoa that was a good barrel” Pottz says to Mel as the camera pans the scaffolding looking for CT wives???????? The camera comes back to the ocean just in time to see someone negotiated a fat lump into little Marley.

27 02 2010
Mike

That really wasn’t an insult by the way…. DM.

The insult was that podcast.

I’m a kinder, gentler Mike since the surf turned on. Glory, Halleulujah! Peace to all and to all a drunk night! Cept Marky, he’s gotta get in shape to take on Nugget in 5-7 reef surf!

And Enoch, Lazer is a little busy picking corn out of his teeth to worry about a tsunami….

27 02 2010
Enoch Ward

lol @ Mike 13:47

I certainly plan on slurring my words by 4pm. I got a fresh bottle of Jameson that’s saying very naughty things to me right now. Time to put her out of her misery.

27 02 2010
Mike

Hey everyone, check this out!!!!

I’m so proud of UCSB….

http://www.prisonplanet.com/karl-rove-chased-out-of-ucsb.html

27 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
Couldn’t get the Rove video to play, but sounds like the UC system is still a bastion of liberal values. Nice to see!
As far as the Quiky webcast, it’s all a case of economic priorities. It was more important for the ZQK execs to give themselves a big raise this year, than to pay a spotter and a replay operator for the webcast crew. Times are tough. Hell, they even had to pay some of K9’s new deal in stock in the company. Kelly still makes twice as much cash as Bob though. I guess there is some sort of karmic justice in there somewhere…. But in the end, it is the surfing public that suffers from a lackluster webcast product.

27 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Hey Mike,

Snapper or Rincon?

A conundrum that would confound Confucius. Snapper’s a great wave when it’s on and it’s warmer, but it’s a man-made anomaly. Like a chick with big ol’ fake titties that catches your eye and can be a great lay. But it flies in the face of what the good Laird created through the Big Bang that lasted four hours.

Rincon’s got the more natural boobies that remind you of the pureness of your first love.

You all remember your first love, right?

Mine was a young, snuggly little thing who rarely yelped… except when I pulled her tail, or forgot to pick up her poops in the back yard. Just thinking of those more intimate times we shared brings a smile to my face. And penis.

I gotta go knock one off in the bathroom.

Brb.

27 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Rottward,

My name might not be Mike, but I can answer that one for you. Rincon, of course.

Do you visit the bathroom, with or without the glass/bottle of Jameson?

27 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Well Mailman,

Sinth you assked soo nicely and I ambeginnig to slyur my wordth. I can assthur you that the bottl;e, like Billy thu Kidths sixxx shooter, nevah leafs my thide.

Schit. Now Charlee Thmith isth gonna thikn I’m for the homos.

Bad akahole. Bad alcohall.

27 02 2010
Mike

Davo… go onto Youtube and pull up the video….

the students heckle the attendees to the speech ” So you’re for murder of innocents”…. great stuff and well done.

Then Rove exits and is bombarded with Murderer, War Pig, you name it….

He literally escapes while the goons (secret service) show up.

I waited at sandspit for the tsunami, waste of time.

But Hammonds is looking super creamy once this wind clocks pure north. Come on by Dave, I’ll get you into a couple buttery ones.

27 02 2010
Karl Rove

Before anyone feels that they should start donating to BOB MCKNIGHT’S “Raise Fund” (aka new Hati) remember this company was burning all the “ROXY’ income on films like YOUNG GUNS just a few years ago.

( death star edition in indo, slater did the flowrider behind a 3 story yacht while 3 helicopters filmed).

Sometimes more money isnt the answer. The answer is just finding people in business/poitics that know how to budget it.

27 02 2010
Mike

Kinda early for literal sloppy-ness Enoch….

27 02 2010
Mike

Yeah, that slater flowrider deal was a pretty gratuitous, flaunting disposable money.

No one should feel sorry for Mc Knight. Kelly built that company, Mc Knight is lucky.

Who knew Karl Rove was so funny?

Too bad you had to flee thursday night! YOu Flea!

Parasite on society…. a Flea!

27 02 2010
mark

I was thinking that maybe Mike and Dave could start a France-California joint chapter of S.D.S. for surfers.

I imagine Rasta would be your first recruit from Austrailia and, of course, Lewis Samuels can head up the Bay Area coalition.

There’s bound to be some federal stimulus money to be had ( since 70% hasn’t been spent yet ) so you guys can get some decent facilities and perhaps purchase ad space on Surfline as well as the ASP website.

Good luck soldiers of peace!

27 02 2010
Mike

Ok Mark, I’ll bite…. SDS?

27 02 2010
mark

And you call yourself a Radical Liberal?

Students for a Democratic Society in the 60’s was, and to this day still remains, the largest left wing grassroots organization in America.

William Ayers would not be happy with you Mike.

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

@Mark-

Weight gain is definetly a surfing issue as you age-especially if you end up with an office-type job and you really like beer. My best surfing weight these days is about 175 lbs. Currently about 188. Makes it tough to recapture the good old days. It seems even if I get down to good weight…I’d give anything to do what I could do 10 yrs ago. It’s hard cause you’ve got it in your mind, but body dosen’t necessarily follow. Take-off is now toughest part…fucks up the rest of the wave. Not to mention I have other bad habits like smoking cigs. I’m fucked. This sucks….

27 02 2010
mark

@Trauzersnake

I would give Rahm Emanuel a full body massage while lightly circling Nancy Pelosi’s dark and sagging areola’s with my tongue if I could get within 50 pounds of 188.

27 02 2010
mark

Hey Trauzersnake what percentage of your weight is…ahhh.you know….ummmm…your tallywacker?

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

So was Mark @ 7:39 and 7:42 Enoch or Mike?

27 02 2010
mark

It’s me bro.

Besides Enoch has that stupid emblem attached to his comments.

27 02 2010
Elwood

I’m kinda seeing this all leading to “The first annual NUG surf contest”. We could let Jamie O, C.J., and Mailman judge. Cote’s could announce… turn it all around on us. Now that would be some humor.

Honestly, I think I could take you guys down. I may be broke from this economy but I get all the waves I want at Swami’s and other places and can still throw the tail around.

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

Can’t see the emblem on the ‘berry. Please verify, over…

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

Elwood, I guess I’m gonna stay in my rockin’ chair. (With bong and sierra in hand of course.)…shit. 😦 …or I guess ya could say 🙂

27 02 2010
PeterPerfect

You people are treading some serious levels of retardation if you can’t figure out how to create your own WordPress account.

It’s so easy a Guadauska’s brother could do it.

Then, we wouldn’t have to slog through the tired comments of those who post under another person’s alias. Which in itself, is an idea that only appeals to the lowest common denominator…

Wait.

27 02 2010
Mike

Nice projection again Mark, have I ever called myself a radical liberal?

My ideas are logic based. Common good (global), fiscally conservative, socially liberal. Genuine. Neither party offers any of that. I am independent, not interdependent. Surfers used to make up their own minds…. about everything. The culture transcends society fundamentally. Alternative values, fresh horizons. I am no different.

Offer me a solution and I don’t care what direction it comes from.

That’s what it’s like to learn before you know.

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

We gotta stop this….I can’t tell who’ who anymore.

27 02 2010
Elwood

aliases = cumdumpsters

27 02 2010
Elwood

Mike, seriously, that was beautiful….. I’ve had a few drinks and maybe a little homo’d out right now… but don’t worry I aint gonna anything on ya.

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

200!!!! You sorry ingestors of all jizz!!

27 02 2010
Mike

Your welcome Elwood.

The world really can be that simple, but money complicates everything to keep us distracted, scared and divided.

Money vs. Humanity…. either we control money or Money will control us.

27 02 2010
trauzersnake

@trauzersnake 21:03

You mean I’m not you??

27 02 2010
lazer®

Look fellas, it is quite simple. You go to wordpress.com and sign up for a free account. The account can be for starting you own blog, or just for being a commentator on anyone else’s blog. Once you register, for free, you can pic a cool avatar and let the games begin.

Me? I won’t make one because I live in Hawaii, am worshipped because my IQ is 57, and I have an incurable case of narcolepsy because I watch Mick Fanning clips on YouTube all day.

Additionally, the cottage cheese on Ruben Studdard’s ass cheeks are suprisingly firm. The more and more I spank them, the taller my groin twig grows. I hope it eventually surpases the 3″ ruler I taped vertically to my thigh.

Anywhoo, just thought I’d pass my wind in your general directions.

L8.

27 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
Hammonds? You really know how to pull on my heart strings. One of my roommates from UCLA lived just down the street. Ah the memories…. As for SDS, I didn’t know either. I thought Mark of Many Aliases was talking about LSD but had become dyslexic while typing. Speaking of MMA, I’m actually apolitical with a slightly leftist bent. Don’t bother to vote, since the political system in the US is as in need of an overhaul as the ASP.

27 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Chas Smith just penned a fluff piece in his typical over-the-top manner at Stab. Alas, I powered through his clichéd nonsense and was eventually dumbstruck by the powerful revelation that he brought to the forefront. Namely, that the wave I commented on in this thread at 16:40 yesterday was seen by more than my imagination. I had hithertotherefore blocked the wave out because I assumed it did not exist.

However, the wave was exceptional. The sliding stall in the barrel and the carving 360 were things that 96% of the guys on the tour couldn’t do in a free-surf session, let alone a contest. The net result?

Totally glossed over. Judges? Check. Commentating booth? Quadruple check. Especially since this was their boy and they cooed like school girls during the ride – only to go silent once scores were levied.

The wave?

Not even included in the highlights reel (a surprise given Quik’s ruling of all things in this event).

Just another fecal-brick in the wall of dung that Quik is building for this event.

This is change we certainly can’t believe in.

Fuck Quiksilver and ALL that they love.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

P.s.

Todd Kline is a yentering yap-fest that would only be rivaled by the yammering flotsam being expelled by the females on The View.

Mu’fucker talked over every crucial moment of what was already a half-assed webcast. His commentary was like a cloak of waterlogged bamboo shutes being flogged against the sharp corner of an animal barn.

28 02 2010
lazer®

Whoever wrote under my nom de plume @ 23:12:55-

You are a maggot-ridden chunk of horseflesh left to marinate in dumpster full of 6 week old high-school lunch food and Jared Allen’s steroid-addled piss. A novice might be led to believe it was Rottmouth, but with so many unabashed grammatical fuck-ups I’m leaning toward Mark.

You may amuse me further if you wish.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I agree with Lase.

And to whoever the tireless fuck that keeps imitating my own stupid name: meet me at the flag pole at 3pm tom…

oh…

I see.

Okay.

Carry on.

28 02 2010
Mark

@lazer

I will bash you for not showing up at the Ala Mo parking lot that one morning, I will make fun of you for making stupid comments and I will heckle you for not using your real name.

But I will never comment under your name. I know and live by the blogging-commenting ethics rule number 420 and have respect for it.

Unlike Mike.

28 02 2010
Mike

But it’s ok to graft when you’re working on the sales lot! Your “clients” should assume that your propensity and expertise in lying is a useful sales tool. Just as long as you maintain some mythical, ethical decency while you blog.

How noble of you, Mark.

Your ethic rule book is kinda like the terror color codes, never explained yet constantly invoked.

But you are barking up the wrong tree, I haven’t posted as you since last spring when I merely characatured your fascination with being a pro groupie. You went ballistic, although you could have written the same comment moments later… it was a literal interpretation!

BARK BARK, Calibammy.

PS…. funny how your mom ( and you are the one that delivered her to Blasph) is fair game, but your dog is verbotten. I’m sensing a profile of mixed personalities running amok with the host.

28 02 2010
Mike

@Dave-O….

After I resolved that the tsunami wasn’t going to grace our shorelines, I snuck out to your fantasy right as the wind clocked north. Something about that meadow that is a sirens call…

BTW… I think you are in good company as a certain breakfast meal graduated UCLA. I pledged Sigma Chai every year until they figured me out…. those dudes would score me chicks, free drinks and some “party favors” just because someone would recognize me from Malibu. Ahhh, the anonymity of 30,000 enrollment. Fun times… poaching fraternities chicks without a student ID!

28 02 2010
Mike

Apparently, Occy’s underbite has been busy commenting on TWS….

Check out the mayhem from the ASP banquet comments!

Are surfers really total slobs or has the Dane made wrinkles fashionable… Chas? Sounds like it’s right up your alley, can’t let Fish steal your show dude… I think dude.

28 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
I wondered why the Bagel and I see eye to eye on so many things. Go Bruins!
I was an SAE. Even better to live in a house and have multiple ladies in the same night. Even did a stint as social chairman. Man, the stories I could tell you.
Were you in LA county from ’88 to ’91? We may have crossed paths at Malibu or County Line. And yes, the Sigma Chi guys did throw some decent shindigs, but things were way looser down the row at Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

28 02 2010
mark

sports at it’s finest!

u.s.a. scores a goal with 23 seconds to go to tie it 2 to 2 and send it to overtime in the gold medal hockey game with canada!

go u.s.a.!!!!

28 02 2010
mark

lakers-nuggets doin battle, overtime gold medal hockey followed up by double overhead plus swami’s for the late arvo?

NICE!!!

28 02 2010
mark

sid the freakin kid nails the game winner!

congratulations canada!!!!

28 02 2010
lazer®

@Mike,

I can assure you that isn’t the same Occy’s Underbite that Rottmouth used as one of his many stellar aliases.

In fact, I think Enoch Ward is the most awesomest person in the world.

I would gladly let my girlfriend blow him the next time he’s over here on the rock.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I am watching Bruna Schmitz surf right now.

Intently.

With my penis.

She is going to lose to Steph Gilmore though. Maybe Steph, feeling bad about beating Bruna, will offer to make up with some hot saphic lesbo sex later. I would gladly give them Mike’s entire salary if they film it.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Something tells me that isn’t the real Laser commenting either.

I haven’t commented as Occy’s Underbite since halfway through the PostSurf days. That was the first name I used when I popped my commentating cherry at PostSurf.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I am convinced the commentary booth’s have a (black) list of everyone who has ever posted on PostSurf or Nugable. I have carpet bombed them with comments from time to time and never can get a mention. Granted, the things I post can only be repeated in the Book of Song of Solomon, but hey, this is surfing, not figure skating.

I’ve had Mailman, Cote, Condor, and some other scmhuck I can’t remember crack up and mention my name. I’ve heard Potzz sound downright pissed before. They always give someone named ‘Slayer’ a shoutout. That fucker must be spoutin’ some pretty funny shit.

Otherwise, it’s a no go for ol’ Enoch. All my other aliases have been shut out as well.

Pardon me while I go sulk in the corner.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Kline just stepped in the proverbial doo-doo when he stated (I paraphrase), “It’s interesting that the men on tour can surf into their late thirties, but women generally bow out in their late twenties.”

Way to insinuate the women are DIFFERENT than men. I’m sure the Quik HR team is descending on his annoying hyper-jabber as we speak.

Meanwhile, is Garrett Parkes really Samantha Ronson? Dude ate LiLo’s snatch… a real soldier who’s willing to ‘take one for the team’ in my book.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Garret Parke’s first wave was excellent. First move in the critical section: Full fins-free slide, one foot completely off the board, recovers in the whitewash, comes out clean and pulls a few more standard lip bashes.

Score: 6.50

Taj takes a similar wave and uncharacteristically bogs and wobbles through a standard issue ASP wave.

Score: 5.50

“Yeah, but it was just one maneuver” cackles Potzz. One fucking unbelievably great maneuver I think to myself. The ASP judging continues to impress. And by ‘impress,’ I mean boggle the minds of thinking people. No risk = massive rewards.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present your 2010 ASP tour. Same shit, different day.

{{sigh}}

28 02 2010
Mike

Dave, I was trolling malibu in the late 70’s until el nino ’83. UCLA at the same time

Mark, you read like Lazer. Just sayin. Hope you scored today dude, it was smokin….

Enoch, you can have my salary if it covers production costs, but I want a “directors cut” for myself. Judging is tough to get.

That’s why I’ve thought a continuous, accumulated contest would offer a truer decision. We all know who ripped on a surf trip, because it is the impression over time. Challenge the elite guys and allow them to build on their performance.

Consider if God got a good tube (9.2) and ripped the snot out of another(8.5) in an hour long, 4 man heat. Now dane’s only looking for 10’s and going for it once he banks the “safety” scores. Explosive and you reward the ripper….

Not a past world champ caught downstream a current.

28 02 2010
Mike

Bobby is rad…

28 02 2010
Mike

Craig Andersons barrel was waaaaaay underscored.

28 02 2010
Elwood

Do you think Quik. makes it mandatory for these ducks to keep explaining the difference between goofy and “natural” footers.

OR are they just doing it to piss us off.

28 02 2010
Elwood

Ya Bobby, nice F-Bomb. The only good thing about Quik’s budget cuts is they don’t have any delay… ha.

28 02 2010
Mike

yeah, he sneaked in… Fbomb and all…..

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mike 18:59pm

I completely agree.

Let us see whether or not God moves out of 33rd.

28 02 2010
Mike

Wow, they cut away for a Neco Interview, he goes off on the judges but I can’t hear a thing over the contest announcer. They missed both goals simultaneously…. Now that’s talent.

Meanwhile another clock ticks down on the reason we tuned in.

28 02 2010
Mike

Julian Wilsons’ Mom or Dane Reynolds surfing. Ok, the young chick was pretty. What are we watching?

28 02 2010
trauzersnake

Speaking of ticking clocks…ever notice how the heat clock on-screen is NEVER ACCURATE???….you’d never see that in football.

28 02 2010
Elwood

Dane’s last wave…. game on bitches.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

We are watching the Yeti’s cock warm up for his loss.

Yep. I’m calling a loss for Jordy.

But no Studdard corn if he wins.

Lol @ Lazer again.

Where you at Lase??

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Trauzer,

Yep, you’d never see that during an Angel’s game. Didn’t they win the Super Bowl last year?

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Blake Thorton surfs like a burlap sack filled with monkey feces.

In other words, just like me.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@God,

Forgive Mike, a sinner, of all his sins. And me too for some of my doubts. You are going to win the tour this year, in my humble opinion.

Well, at least until your next mailed-in heat.

28 02 2010
trauzersnake

@E-COCK WARD

UH DER DER DER!!! Sure, Angels….DUMMY.

28 02 2010
m

marco?

28 02 2010
Mike

Jordy’s wave was missed…. nearly perfect score missed live.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Polo?

28 02 2010
Mike

Enoch, if God surfs like that from here on out, crown him.

28 02 2010
Good Ass Kiss

Perrow vs. Logie?

This sounds like a dog show. And I’m not talking pure breeds. This is two mutts scrapping in a garbage filled alley before the winner gets run over by a Mac truck in the next round.

28 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Can any of you pull Freddy P’s 8.77 backside wave in round 2 (just happened)? Put that shit on YouTube. This is the ASP in a nutshell. The judging is more whacked than Mark’s nuts on his wedding night.

Look, Freddy P’s a nice guy, but that repetitive shit should not see anything North of a 5.0. I almost went seasick watching that up and down motion.

Gotta hand it to the guys though, looks like everyone’s grabbed Mick’s script and are running with it.

1 03 2010
Peter Perfect

Dear Enoch Ward,
You are a monster and a master manipulator. Jamie O contacted me to say that you were impersonating me here. He is unhappy that he did not get to ride the biggest barrel ever at the Pipe and come out switch during the tsunami. He also hates you.

On another note Jordy Smith looks like an extra for the Cro-Magnon era in a history channel special.
That is all.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman
1 03 2010
quik

Unfortunately contest is over due to the fact that by us picking the winners of heats week before the contest we will never match the excitement of the Olympic hockey game. (sorry but surfing isnt a real sport because we cant figure out a way to make it fair…..)

1 03 2010
Rebel tour

You guys missin the thought of me yet???????

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Hey Rebel Tour, Kelly isn’t…

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/slater-maintains-secondary-tour-plan-is-no-pipe-dream-20100227-pa4m.html

He’s adjusted his thoughts on the issue, and what he’s thinking now isn’t half bad. Still no need to go outside the ASP though. His “horses for courses” concept could easily be 4 to 6 ASP specialty events at specific times during the year, broadcast on ESPN with whichever outside sponsors are willing to step to the plate and throw down big prize purses.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

More thoughts on ASP surfers and their relations with “their” association from the 9-time world champ and greatest ever surfer in the history of the sport.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/its-time-surfers-united-for-better-conditions-20100227-pa4n.html

1 03 2010
Rebel tour

You saw the judging after he came out against the ASP last year. He is kissing a little ass to get his 10th and then we will all see what he really thinks.

thanks mailman (cyber defender of ASP)….

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

And just to finish up on the subject… With a Rebel yell, he cried more, more more!

http://www.stabmag.com/jed/the-saga-continues/

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Rebel Tour,
Right on bro! Probably why they fired Perry. Not enough love for Kelly. At least the criteria written by Perry (and greatly influenced by Kelly) lives on, and Perry’s disciples still rule the roost that is the judging tower. Nonetheless, didn’t look like K9 was getting too harshed by the boys in Round 1.
Seriously though, nice to know there are conspiracy theorists like you out there. It takes all kinds!

1 03 2010
Rebel tour

PIPE FINALS???? when did the only barrel of a pipe final become a 3????? it used be (every heat up to the final of pipe this year) that the only thing that scored at pipe was the barrel.

But whatever that was last year and doesn’t make up for what is already going wrong this year.

The fact that the Rebel tour lives on at all is due to the ASP contiunacy of brillance….. BRAH

1 03 2010
Elwood

I was on MSN’s homepage this morning and there was a link to the ASP world tour… I was thinking — wow, there PR people are really getting their Shit together. THen I clicked on the link and it was for last years event in Portugal…WTF

1 03 2010
Global cooling

Yeah let’s revisit the crime of that final (other than the waves). That barrel K9 got was only due to his absolute amazing ability as the wave gave him nothing. It’s almost not an exaggeration to say he went in reverse to get himself barreled and then promptly came out. Nobody on earth could have gotten barreled on that wave except for Kelly. That was the only barrel in the final and for the achievement he got a 3.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

As I was driving in to work today (happiness is being employed during the Obama depression) I was musing about the judging criteria and how it best needs to change; I expect that there has been no real change. I then recalled the ’06 contest in Mex where Andy won. Let us recall the final against TKnox and one wave in particular, you know the one where he executed a huge frontside air and landed on the face. Biggest air landed in a contest by far. The waves were good but I don’t believe Andy had any tube rides of note. Point being is that that wave didn’t make it as one of his two scoring waves…a throw away. For a huge air that had the commentators and the other pros watching, going nuts over.

When that wave gets scored a 9…heck even a 10, then the criteria will have changed for the better.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Global Cooling,
That air won him the heat (just like Kelly’s against Bede at Bells in ’08). I was there. I announced it. I don’t know where you get your info from (if it’s from somewhere other than your personal recollection let me know). The conditions had gone to shit for the final. There were no tubes to be had.

Rebel Tour,
I’m a big fan of finding tubes where there aren’t any, and that they should be scored accordingly. However, since it was small and shitty, the judges were instructed to score progressive surfing and not small barrels. 8 to 10 foot Pipe, tubes score. 2 to 4 foot Pipe, not so much. Not defending the logic. Just explaining where the judges were coming from.

For both of you and all the other armchair judges out there, the solution is for the judging panel to feature only former Top 10 surfers, and to give scores for overall impression at the end of the heat. I think you would find more of you agreeing with the results, and wasting a lot less time arguing about if a wave should have been a 6 or an 8. Having said that, it’ll be a cold day in Hell before that happens…

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Global Cooling,
A mea culpa may be in order. I drank a lot of tequila that night and the week following the comp, so it may be my memory that is a bit addled. I do believe it was more of a “victory lap” at the very end of the heat and that it scored high 6’s or low 7’s. Having said that, I will refer you once again to Kelly’s air (exactly the same as AI’s) in the final at Bells in ’08 that did score in the excellent range and won him the heat. Thank you for pointing out how the criteria and scoring have changed in the last 4 or 5 years! Guys can and do get scored between 8 and 10 points for one or two major moves on a single wave, whereas in the past that never would have happened. Having said that, I still stand by my comment that it should be overall impression at the end of the heat, and not best 2 waves of the heat…

1 03 2010
Rebel tour

I dont want to be a judge and could careless if there were 10 victor ribas judging. (Is fairness top ten surfers posses??)

I am just alarmed by the fact that who ever is judging will “juice” certain people at certain times.

The number of times SLater has been put through heats (every boost final he won) far outweigh the last year of hate by the judges.

We (being the public that doesnt get to go to comps on the industry’s dime and have no affiliation with the industry) would like to see more conformity from the judges so its fair to every surfer.

Noone should be “juiced” , not even slater…..

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

To answer the question about why do the Quiky announcers keep explaining the difference between natural and goofy foot is that FUEL is putting their voices on TV instead of paying other people to do it, and Pottz and Pete have obviously been asked to “dumb it down” for the general public. Even though Australia has more surfers per capita than any other country in the world. That is one of the joys of being live on TV. You have to have a little something for everyone.
Speaking of TV, Rebel Tour guy, the only reason ESPN is interested in airing the Champions Tour is because Hardy and Tinley are paying ESPN2 to air it. Remember when ESPN canceled surfing from the X-Games? Exactly my point. They don’t care about the sport, or even find it worthwhile to air on their channels usually. They’re just in it for the cash!

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Awe sheeeit.

PeterPerfect just went from diapers to pull-ups. Good on ya mate. Tell Jamie O that he will lose one brain cell for each day he resides down under. It is a medical fact.

Therefore, he better not live there longer than thiry days or it’s lights-out, amigo.

I’m just trying to help.

1 03 2010
Mike

You had a hand in destroying “la jolla” Dave?

May Rip Curl burn in Mark’s hell…. or global cooling’s hell.

The depression we are experiencing was carefully managed by George Bush’s puppet masters, Mark. A time bomb to ruin the successor… that’s why they trotted out JOhn Mc Cain. They knew they were going to lose and they threw the old dog a bone. All those years you voted for this economy. Stop pointing fingers and look into the mirror. You voted for War, a collapse in the middle class (YOU DUMBFUCK), erosion of the constitution and an end to civil rights for the citizens. Now, Corporations have free reign to pollute the voting process and that sound you hear is not your toilet flushing Mark, it is your future.

Welcome to world you voted for.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mailman,

Did France hire the engineer’s who built the levee in New Orleans?

1 03 2010
Rebel tour

THIS IS WHY TARGET SCAREs ME!!!!!!!!!!!

“Now, Corporations have free reign to pollute the voting process and that sound you hear is not your toilet flushing Mark, it is your future”……..

1 03 2010
Mike

Dave, yes ESPN is in it for the cash, but they also expect certain minimums on production quality… something the ASP consistently fails at.

Is it really that hard to feature surfing? Does the NBA cut away to crowd scenes while the game is in play? Does the NFL miss plays? Does MLB cut away for a commercial while the bases are loaded?

ESPN directorial management probably looks at the ASP production qualities and laughs harder than we do at the ineptitude of these podcasts. And would Pottz please shut the fuck up for just one moment…. dude’s got diarehha of the mouth and nothing fresh to say.

1 03 2010
Jamon Bagel

You bastards better not make me start cutting/pasting my ESPN rants from PostSurf…

1 03 2010
Global cooling

Apology excepted and good point about Slater at Bells.
I totally agree with the overall impression at the end of the heat theory; Have thought the same thing for a long time.

Sometimes you watch a heat where one guy has put on a display of beautiful surfing (to be frank I’m speaking of Kelly here), has caught numerous waves and overall just put on a show. Yet, his competitor has maybe caught three waves or so with two of them somehow scoring better than the other guys top two best. The horn goes off and you think, “this was robbery that just occurred”…the better surfer didn’t advance. And who loses? Of course the surfer himself, but also the fans, the ASP, the surfers sponsors. Nobody wins except Aritz…er… I mean fill in the blank.

Don’t know how you feel about it, but I don’t have a problem with judges pushing top surfers through heats. Now if one of the lesser guys really takes it to a top level surfer and actually outsurfs him then score it true, I only advocate this when it is clearly called for.

1 03 2010
Mike

The levee’s failed as our bridges now fail… infrastructure (American jobs) is a victim to privatization (corporate parasites). Then Blackwater was contracted to be disaster security (hunt) and FEMA did a heck of a job! What happened those first few nights of darkness is an American tragedy. Hiring Mercs to hunt the poor, nice voting Mark. And the determent camps at Unocal and Shell refineries in La. were modern examples of collateral damage (human) on American Soil.

How many of you know that the state of Indiana sold it’s highway system to a Spanish Corp? All those tolls collected leave our country and Spain has no interest in maintaining the roads… another ticking time bomb.

Remember when Mark’s president, in a state of (his) WAR, floated his idea that Dubai should be contracted to Port Security for US points of entry? Nothing like allowing a “muslim” country to secure us against “muslim” enemies. Why not, the whole government is wolves guarding the hen house.

Republican Corporatism is TREASON, Mark. Turn yourself in….

1 03 2010
Rebel tour

“Don’t know how you feel about it, but I don’t have a problem with judges pushing top surfers through heats” global cooling

REALLY??????????????????? lets rename the asp WWF then

1 03 2010
Mike

That’s the republican way Rebel Tour, push the incumbants and whine/obstruct when you lose….

Flush……

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Rebel Tour,
It’s easy to complain. How do you propose to repair the system. What would make the judging fairer?

Mike,
NFL and NBA have major corporate sponsors and major corporate budgets to spend on their TV shows. They also have TV time-outs, end of quarters/halftimes, etc. to broadcast their corporate sponsors’ ads during those mandatory breaks in the action. All of which makes it much easier for them to have higher production values.
Once again, it all comes down to brands’ priorities and how they spend their cash. From a production value standpoint, the Boost webcasts were the best in the business… Real TV cameras, a real OB van on-site, a real satellite feed, with a real budget to fund the whole thing.
Having said that, you are right that the ASP events don’t put enough emphasis on production values, and too much on super hip VIP areas on the beach. But in the end, that’s not the only reason ESPN isn’t interested. They had surfing at their X-Games, and decided (for many of the same reasons surfing isn’t in the Olympics) that it was logistically too difficult, and visually not exciting enough, to interest Joe Q. Public, much to Bagel’s delight. And Jamon, maybe just cut and paste one anti-ESPN rant from Post Surf, but not all of them please!

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I would like to cut and paste some of my… er, Shamus McRearload’s rants with T.D.T.F.

They are a little short winded though, and would read like a speed-bump in this epic thread.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
To come back to the point you always come back to and that K9 comes back to, and that we all (even I) recognize is the root of the problem, the brands’ stranglehold on the sport, once again, I ask you old wise man, what is the solution? How do we solve the problem? Please, stop bitching about it and give us an answer! If you don’t have one, then stop whinging and live with it. The brands are not listening to you. They don’t care about what you think…

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
I have thoroughly enjoyed your tirades at MMA and his conservative Republican ilk though. Funny we haven’t heard anything from him today.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Enoch,
The French taught the Army Corps of Engineers how to build dikes in the first place. Remember, they used to own New Orleans! We could all learn a lot from the Dutch. Ever heard of a flood in Amsterdam?
And please refresh my memory and remind me what the hell is T.D.T.F.?

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

T.D.T.F. was someone who got into it pretty good with Lawrence of Alabia and Shamus McRearload (good friends of mine).

I think it was actually a drunken Lewis Samuels who momentarily forgot he pulled the plug on his own show.

I think it’s funny that some retards are still commenting there.

Wait.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
La Jolla was hardly a secret spot. Anyone who’s ever been to Puerto during swell season knows where it is. Approach any taxi driver in Oaxaca when Puerto is double overhead and he’ll offer to take you there. Plus, who are you to tell the Mexican people who can or can’t publicize their surf spots? Anyone from that town is more happy than sad that Rip Curl came to town.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

EW,
Are you serious? People are still commenting on Post Surf? Have they surpassed the 1000 comment mark on the final thread? I bailed at 8 hundred and something…

Rebel Tour (a.k.a Brostradamus),
Unfortunately, no matter how hard one may try to stay neutral, “juicing” is part of human nature, and will always (even subconsciously) happen in any “judged” sport. Just ask the Russian Olympic figure skating judge…

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
You are right about missing the action though. Inexcusable, especially when it would cost about $300 a day to have 2 guys do dedicated spotting for the webcast crew. Or the cost of a few extra radios to have the spotter in the judging tower hooked up to the camera guys/webcast editor and say the same thing into a radio as he says it in the judging tower. Having said that, even with spotters in the tower the judges still miss a few anyway (isn’t that right Dane fans?)!

1 03 2010
Rebel tour/brostrodamus

@mailman,,

I wish i had time to figure out a new system, but my primary source of concern is keeping myself High.

I bow to United States Postal Service and agree there is no better way.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

@Dave,

You should stop by that wasteland. It was hit by some spammers recently (which have since been removed) and the last couple comments in response to those spammers are amusing.

I think it’s just under a thousand comments.

I think Lewis stays up at night and masturbates to the comments count.

I know I do.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Speaking of which, we must be up to 300 in this thread by now.

The Nug’s busy preparing to fwop fwop fwop as that milestone nears. That’s why we haven’t had a new post in days.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

So touchy Mike…obviously you’re most definitely a frustrated, angry, little paranoid man that has real beef with capitalism and freedom (why not move to Venezuela where your values are practiced?). Like all those who say they are “fiscally conservative but socially liberal” really you’re just a socialist who says you’re fiscally conservative for cover.

Now jackass, let us look at the world and see what socialist systems or governments produce…………..insert sound of crickets. As you know the answer is nothing;government produces NOTHING…only takes and wastes. And it never fails to get behind the wrong side of almost every issues (global warming anybody). Your rants would carry some weight if there were Libertarian in nature, but as they are they are just the ramblings of a non producing, God hating, leftist fool who is over educated in non sense and probably works at a University. Or a low level bureaucrat of some sort.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

Hey Mike…one last thing when your homo lib majority gets routed in Nov. it will be by the Tea Party uprising in this country not pushed GOP incumbents. And let it be done.

flush…

1 03 2010
Elwood

Regarding the judging. I don’t have a huge beef right now… There appears to be some positive strides in that they aren’t over-scoring barrels, and big Sunny hacks out on the shoulder (yeah Neco) are not getting scored too high. Sure some of Kelly and Micks’s waves may have been over-scored by a point or two, but they can also adjust the criteria for later rounds… it’s not like that extra point made any difference in their heats.

I think Mike and I made mention of it that the venues and the format are more what holds back progressive surfing. Snapper and Bells don’t lend themselves to high flying air moves. Also if the contest was point driven instead man on man driven it would obviously force surfers to push themselves for the highest possible scores all the time… not just high enough to beat a low ranked opponent.

Hey Mailman, have you guys ever talked about some progressive judging system. Something like where 70% of the score comes from professional judges, 20% of the score comes from lindustry experts (ex pro’s, media, etc.), and 10% from registered online viewers like us (subject to filtering out obvious poor judging)…. imagine that.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Global Cooling,
If you only knew what Mike does for a living you would be shocked, but his secret is safe with me… Nothing University or Government oriented about it.
Speaking of Socialism though, did you know that the average Frenchman is more productive at work that your average Brit or American? Fact.

RT/B,
I must say, you have your priorities well sorted. Fly and be free!

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

The French are the most productive per hour worked. Americans are more productive overall, but work much longer hours…

http://www.gaebler.com/Productivity-and-Vacation-Comparisons-by-Country.htm

Of course, all statistics can be manipulated. Just ask the Chinese…

1 03 2010
Global cooling

Yes ask the Chineese.

Oh for sure there’s many in this country that don’t, let us say, pull their own weight yet I’m not sure what to say about the stat overall. It really doesn’t matter much I guess as France will be a muslim country under Sharia law in about 30 years or so anyway. Enjoy the beachies now…the prophet didn’t surf so neither do his followers.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Blasenoch,
931 comments on Post Surf. And most of them from you and your multi-personality disorder “friends”. At least I now who T.D.F.T. is…

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

GC,
Like California will be a province of Mexico, and the other 49 states will belong to the “Chineese”? Doesn’t matter really. I’ll be dead in 30 years anyway! And I know quite a few Moroccans who surf!

Elwood,
Re: progressive judging system. No. Something like that wouldn’t even make it through the door, let alone get tabled at an ASP meeting. Having said that, I have worked some specialty surf events, and some snow and skate events who’ve used variations of the system you propose. The fairest are when the athletes judge themselves. Media/industry judges are OK, but certain can be more biased than others. Last but not least, unfortunately, for the vast majority of the public it is strictly a popularity contest. So, basically, we’re stuck with what we’ve got…

1 03 2010
Perkus Tooth

The fate of the ASP’s Dream Tour hangs in the balance. Is the advertisement featuring the strangely-lit talking heads of Kelly, Mick, and Jordy foreshadowing the demise of the stage which once made them famous? Their monotonous chanting certainly harkens to the stale product being foisted upon a slowly awakening public, one who understands at a basic, animalistic level that there are better waves in the world in February than two-foot Snapper. How much longer will Morrison’s leash-pull fail to evoke allegorical circle-jerking references? How much longer can Dave Mailman continue his defense of such a mismanaged enterprise? How much money will Dane Reynolds make from the ignorant t-shit buying masses after they gobble up his latest artistic/soul-ripper/Quiksilverliscious offerings?

Methinks you all protest too much, and still not nearly enough.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

Touche!

1 03 2010
Peter Perfect

How hilarious, Global Cooling knows so little about the world and who surfs in it, he’s clearly a Republicant who has never left the USA. That said, he’s probably a former senior foreign policy adviser specializing in Morocco, seeing that he states that no Muslims surf.

Moran.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

We’re lucky to have what we do; the economy will continue to contract and the viability of the tour will be in jeopardy as the the bottom line’s of the big three labels shrink. Without them we got no contest (unless ESPN steps up with big sponsors…unlikely). Too bad the ASP isn’t headquartered in the US so that they could stick their hands and get some of that “stimulus” money the pres. throws around. That be good huh Mike? Oh wait, it appears all that money TARP, Stimulus, etc. (yes Bush was for it as well…a pox on his house too) has done NOTHING to help the economy. Nothing. But soon enough our dollar will be worthless, due in large part to this reckless spending (also due to the Federal Reserves great expansion of the money supply and its off balance sheet purchases). When China stops buying treasuries the music stops. Game over. The last thing we’ll be thinking about is scoring criteria for surfing contests.

1 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Elwood et al,
Cut the field to 24 surfers.
Run Rounds 1 to 3 as 8 x 3 man round robin heats (or 4 man heats with 32 man format).
10 points for 1st, 6 points for 2nd, 3 points for 3rd (and 1 point for 4th if 32 men).
Top 8 overall point scorers move through to man-on-man Quarters (rest of placings on overall point tally). Quarter final match ups decided by overall heat point tally. Highest scorer against lowest, 2nd highest against 2nd lowest to encourage guys to go all out in every round robin heat.
Any ties for 8th spot decided by a one heat surf off of 10 minutes x number of surfers in that heat.
Rounds 1 & 2 on Day 1 (16 heats)
Round 3 & Quarters, Semis and Final on Day 2 (Maximum 16 heats).
Everyone gets to surf at least 3 times, against at least 6 other guys (or 9 if 32 man format).
Surfers are happy since they get a fair shot (even if the conditions happen to be average) and don’t travel across the world to lose and fly home after 1 or 2 heats. Fans are happy because they get to see their favorite guys surf at least 3 times. Whole comp can be run in 2 to 3 days.

As for the subject of locations and types of waves, that is a whole other can of worms that we can discuss ad infinitum at another time.

The Mailman is now going to bed.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

I have to disagree with PeterPefect on one thing. Global Cooling has indeed been outside of the USA. In fact it was a third world country. Where, you ask?

I believe he has told us on numerous occasions that he lived in Alabama for a while.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

totally agree with the above…now how do we get this done.

1 03 2010
The Death of Critical Thinking

Tea parties don’t represent a spontaneous outpouring of public sentiment. They’re AstroTurf (fake grass roots) events, manufactured by well organized right-wing consortiums. In particular, a key role is being played by FreedomWorks, an organization run by Richard Armey, the Republican former House majority and promoted heavily by Fox News.

But that’s nothing new, and AstroTurf has worked well for Republicans in the past. The most notable example was the “spontaneous” riot back in 2000 — actually orchestrated by G.O.P. strategists — that shut down the presidential vote recount in Florida’s Miami-Dade County.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Why, thank you for agreeing with me Global Cooling.

More on.

1 03 2010
trauzersnake

300!!! Turdburglars!

1 03 2010
Global cooling

that would be three above Wardo…

Wow, I wonder how a surf blog can bring out so many libtard lunatics? A good barometer for how stupid the lib is is when he believes Fla. was stolen. (or believes in anthropogenic global warming). Every media organization did their own count and came back as Bush with the winner – even when using Gore’s prescribed way of doing a recount. Myself, I was overall disappointed with Bush; spent far too much money we didn’t have – really wasn’t a conservative, but he won that election fair and square.

Ok the tea party’s are put on by some real PAC’s. So what? Masses of people still show up and as far as I know guns aren’t pointed at their heads to do so. I guess it’s just like most lib protests where you find communist flags, pictures of Che, etc. so really it’s not the good and noble working class that’s up in arms, but the Communist elements putting on the show. Astroturfing.

Tea Parties sponsored by Freedom Works (Dick Army – God bless him); Liberal rally (Gay pride parade, May Day, Obama get out the vote drive, etc.) sponsored by George Soros and other dubious.

All those people who we think voted for Scott Brown never really did you see…it just appeared they voted for Scott Brown. Really they were votes cast by the Republican machine…Freedomworks perhaps. A stolen election for sure. Actually the Dem one that race, but it was stolen by Dick Cheney and with the help of Halliburton….an on it goes. I think I’m getting the hang of it!

looking forward to November.

1 03 2010
Global cooling

I’m done..slow day at work. Go ahead demons, gnash your keyboards at my posts and I’ll check you in the morning.

BTW, I’m not Mark as some have inferred or assumed.

1 03 2010
Mike

Man, the tide was dropping and this little gem needed me to polish it…. Davey it is buttery perfect and empty, sorry I couldn’t reply to your deluge, but I was busy:)

So now that I am all calmed down and elated….

I gave you the template Dave for the tour. You can cut your production staff down to an eighth minimum. The “beach presence” is what’s killing your bottom line and it ensures mediocre surf. Save the beach festivals for the QS and cut the CT free to score the goods. That one decision alone would build the QS and make your puppet masters quite happy.

Obama inherited a ticking time bomb and failed to realize that those who set that bomb have no interest in working bi-partisan. The GOP ideology has failed the world and the genuis’ who designed this depression have now corrupted the Euro with derivative exposure. What Barry O failed to realize is that significant change is the only way out of this mess that was designed specifically to mire his term in deep mud. Give the Republicans their due, they know how to fuck things up.

Dave, the ASP has the same dilemna. Having relinquished soveirignity to the big 3, it now struggles under the weight of THEIR production… that has nothing to do with the product (surfing). When I wrote earlier about production values….. what I mean is that if I am a producer for ESPN and I see a great product with shoddy production, I know that I can fine tune the broadcast and add the necessary polish…. That’s the easy part.

But as the ESPN exec, I see a mess of a telecast that masques and even bigger mess that staging the competition is. Reduce any challenge to it’s core and solutions find themselves. Heat surfing is doomed, objectively. Lulls can’t hold the viewers attention and side bars infuriate the purists (me). Really, the “sport” couldn’t even hold a championship it pimped for months. Try explaining to an ESPN exec how a wildcard derailed any world title drama…. “What do you mean by “wildcard”, the exec asks a poorly dressed ASP official. “You mean you didn’t contest a championship? Why not? How are you legitimate if you gift a title without the battle?”

Really Dave, it is that simple.

Another ASP’s failure is that of engaging everyday participants of it’s own sport. Troll any lineup and you’ll get more informed analysis of Football, golf or tennis than you will of surfing…. as long as you avoid Orange County. There is a huge, apathetic market to your product that surfs daily…. Why? Contrition to your advertising base…. it offered an instant ice pedestal that now melts with the economy. If you have engaged your core constituency, you would be resilient and attractive to “mainstream” potential sponsors…. just like golf.

Does golf allow Titlest to run the Masters telecast? It’s an inherent conflict of interest.

I can give you solutions Davey, but if all you see is through the paradigm of what is, you’ll be less inclined to accept reality than Tea baggers realizing that they have been had.

As for Global Cooling, cool off big fellow. You voted for your current crisis, enjoy your effort. The tea party is nothing but a disenfranchised subsidiary of the same theives that stole the tea parties cookies. Just another disingenuous example of fucked up priorities approaching the morass of their voting decisions. They’ll go down fighting for everything except the country and democracy they take for granted. The lack of indignation over the supreme court disaster a few weeks ago is a telling sign. The books are cooked and Money is coming for your money.

Money V Humanity Mark, which side are you on?

1 03 2010
Mike

one last thing Mr Mailman….

I discovered shit on my own following rivers in third world countries without the help of cab drivers or Google Earth. “la jolla” is one of many gems exploited by the Sean Collins’ of the world and opportunists like Rip Curl.

My generation and those before us found our pots of gold on our own. Secrets survived decades and the subsequent exposure will never be excused. The code has broken down and now surf schools litter any beach that will allow them.

Demographics may sell merch, but they kill ideals and that’s all some of us have left. Short sighted wealth ($) trumped cooperative proprietary information and the world suffocates as it contracts.

Now go open a bottle of red and sit by the fire with that wife of yours.

1 03 2010
Mike

Methinks you all protest too much, and still not nearly enough.

Brilliant ENoch, brilliant. I guess you were thinking about the supreme court decision afterall….

1 03 2010
Global cooling

and I thought I was a long winded bore…

Look you throw out the same lines ad nauseum…(there’s a playbook somewhere right?) so it seems rather pointless with you but let me try one more time. I always laugh to myself when I think of you libtards and how BO is not who you thought he was. Right? You are disappointed of course. The guy is in the back pocket of wall street like no other pres. in history. Wall Street is the opitome of evil so you guys must really hate Obama, right? I mean, his presidency was all but bought and paid for by Goldman Sachs and the other big investment banks. Just follow the money. Look at his appointments and cabinet – Goldmen are everywhere. How do you process that? I’m sure somehow Karl Rove is behind it all, but how exactly does that look?

1 03 2010
Perkus Tooth

This ain’t Rottmouth Mike, I’m going rogue here.

This one phrase would revolutionize our political system: term limits.

1 03 2010
Mike

Actually Perkus tooth, campaign finance reform would save democracy… but that ship has sailed thanks to 5 supreme court activists. Term limits without finance reform would just reinforce the nepotism program…. handing off the reigns to become a lucrative lobbyist.

As for you Global Warming…. Obama has failed progressives far more than he has “conservatives”… although the defintion of the term conservative has been decimated by hypocrisy.

Placing the Ruben family tree in charge of our economy, Barak has gifted our countries future in the deceptive hands of Goldman Sachs…. we agree on that.

The dollar is circling the drain…. and those boys are playing chess 10 moves ahead. The euro is being floated as a potential reserve currency by OPEC. So what does GS do? They sold toxic waste packaged as derivatives to Euro banks knowing that the fallout would prop the dollar up by default.

A house of cards with no bottom level next to an open window…. it’s only a matter of time.

Money V Humanity Global cooling…. what side are you on?

1 03 2010
trauzersnake

@Mike-

Wow! I am in awe, dude.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

First, I need Perkus to tell me who Rottmouth is?

Second, Mike knows his shit.

Third, I agree with what trauzersnake just said.

In conclusion, I must BBQ a chicken for the family, but hope to be back later to witness some carnage at Snapper.

Thank you.

1 03 2010
Elwood

“No Red Jersey has lost yet”…. big surprise.

My money is on Pat G. to break the streak…. sorry Andy.

1 03 2010
Meatwad

fatty and skinny went to war a.k.a bacalso vs. thompson!

1 03 2010
Meatwad

fatty and skinny went to war fatty beat skinny with mid 5’s and 4’s

1 03 2010
mark

Who is this Global Cooling cat? Do you think he is a fresh voice or just another stacked dead actor retread messing with us?

This whole deal is getting a bit tiring. I appreciate your valient efforts at keeping this site rocking Mr. Nug but it seems as if my time here is about up.

Mike has simply caught too many bombs at the buzzer and dropped more dirty turds on me than I can handle.

I salute your passion for your beliefs Mikey Boy and I do appreciate the very occasional kind words you have thrown my way.

Aloha to all.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Daniel Ross vs. Ben Dunn

Like watching mold grow in the neck folds of Mark’s mother in a sauna filled with dying pig fetuses.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Whose scat corn will Lazer be willing to eat if AI loses again?

Redemption time.

1 03 2010
Meatwad

from the looks of this heat corn is gonna be on the menu

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Excellent BJ by Freddy P regarding AI. Three words come to mind: “awkward.”

Regarding Andy Irons ‘return’ to pro surfing… yuck. He was one claim away from being given permanent residency in Sao Paulo.

With each heat, he distances himself from a once upon a time impregnable legacy.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Andy looked like a wounded hyena trying to will himself off the road after being run over by an eighteen wheeler. Sure, he made it to the edge. But that will just make it easier for the buzzards to reach his expended carcass.

So sad.

Alas, life marches on.

1 03 2010
Meatwad

you ever notice when notoriously drug addled bands put out and album after getting sober its a disappointment…. just sayin

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Like me posting comments when I’m sober. Or, is it when I’m drunk? What is it like to be sober?

Is there a difference?

Baahtendah!!

‘Nother round.

1 03 2010
Enoch Ward

Is it just me, or does Luke Stedman surf like a girl?

I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way. I mean, he is handsome. He has some flowing, delicate locks. If he and I were stranded alone on an island…

Tell me you wouldn’t…

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Overhead, offshore pits at Les Estagnots this morning. Just me and two friends in the water trading off shacks. One of those sessions that makes you happy to be a surfer. What we all live for. Felt so good to be back in the line-up. Nothing else matters.

2 03 2010
Global cooling

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254660/Climategate-professor-Phil-Jones-admits-sending-pretty-awful-emails.html

The unraveling continues…

@ Mike – I think we’re both so far to the right and left of the political spectrum that on some issues (undue influence of Goldman Sachs for one) that we meet at the back (fringe) and agree on some of things, although I doubt we would agree on any solutions.

@ Mark – here I jump in the fray providing you with much needed assistance and you want to jump ship? Stay the course brother. And actually I’ve been here from the beginning and by that I mean the beginning of postsurf (I think the second or third week)…usually only would post during contests (ross) or occasionally here and there using different handles (sporadic viewing is on my home computer at present). By the way, how many times have you said you were done with all this only to come back a week later?

RE: AI – if not for the barrel he rode and had it come down to turns, he would have lost. He seems slow; And he looks a little full in the face. I keep thinking if he just loses 10 lbs. all will be well, but I don’t know maybe 31 for him is just to old. We can’t assume that surfing at your peak ability at the age of 38 (kelly) is the norm.

2 03 2010
Mike

You know what Global Cooling? Money has divised a way to keep you and I haggling over peripheral shit while Money changes the game to consolidate money. As long as you and I are distracted (gay marriage, flag burning, joe the plumber), the theives raid the vault.

I can’t argue anymore so I’ve simplified the equation….

Money V Humanity. Monies only goal is More and humanity is roadkill unless it rises in unison. Hope you are on our team when it matters, we can go back to arguing after the world is safe from greed.

Glad to hear Dave scored some surf… we all need our salt water baptisms.

Fuck, I missed the second half of round 2! Why didn’t anyone call me?!

2 03 2010
Global cooling

missed second half of round two also….sigh.

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

I’ve only seen R1 heats 1-3 live, and R1 heat 1 of the girls, but from what you guys have been saying for the last few days, I’ve been better off just waiting for the heats on demand. Either way, who cares!?! Did I tell you I got kegged off my nut today!?! Now that’s something that matters!

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
Heat 1, Round 3 is in the water now! Don’t miss it!

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Surf at the Superbank seems to have picked up bit too!

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Still dumbing it down for the general public though…. I have the solution. Just turn the sound down, and put some music on the stereo.

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Rythmatic turns?

2 03 2010
Perkus Tooth

Here’s your big chance David; explain to me how Taylor Knox just lost that heat. Defend your system now.

Absolutely shocking.

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

OK. My internet connection sucks so I can’t watch the flash stream. The windows media player won’t load, but I still managed to hear Pottz and Pete explain why you wax a board and why the wax goes on the top of the board and not the bottom… I’m going to bed. Heats on demand in the morning. Hopefully they’ve got them uploaded by then! Good night!

2 03 2010
Dave Mailman

Perkus,
Not “my” system. I was wondering exactly the same thing. I think Ace was too, judging by his reaction during the interview…

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