Surfing Motivational Posters

8 02 2010

H/T to Your Daily Donkey

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65 responses

8 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Nug,
Two words… Simply hilarious!
Best,
D.

8 02 2010
Jamie O'Brien

I feel motivated. thanku

8 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Mark’s not going to be happy about that last picture. Big LULZCOPTRZ!!

8 02 2010
LOGO LEAVER

How about a picture of a SURFTECH (ratface model) with “At least shapers in Thailand Still Have Work”.

8 02 2010
Dub

hahahahahahaha!

8 02 2010
lazer®

Let’s be honest with ourselves: Enoch Ward is not Blasphemy Rottmouth.

8 02 2010
The original Jimmy Football

You missed a primo opportunity to include kite surfing on your great blog
I will now email you a kite surfing motivational poster made by TOJF (thats me)

8 02 2010
Demon

This may be the best group of pics I’ve ever seen! Brilliant! Hats off to your creativity.

8 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Lazer is right. I’m actually Perry Hatchet.

I give Lazer’s comment a 3 out of 10.

8 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I’m also the guy that installs hidden camera’s in Japanese women’s restroom stalls.

I know, you can thank me later.

8 02 2010
the honorable Siler McShaftus

We know who you are, Enoch Ward. Please be informed that there is now a cyber bench warrant out for you for not answering our question two posts ago. You will be held in contempt of the court, which entails having a long, thick foreign object placed in your O-ring until you say uncle.

that is all

8 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Siler

The reason they don’t hold a CT event at big wave break like Maverick’s is because the judges would fall into a permanent trance after watching 3 consecutive days of guys paddle, drop in, wobble down the face in an awkward manner, and then kick out. Over, and over, and over, and over and o… zzzzzz.

The only plus side would be the over/under on who gets eaten by a shark first.

My money would be on Kekoa – being as he’s roughly the size of an elephant seal.

8 02 2010
waylin

Funny shot of MP and Mike Ho.

Guilty boys?

8 02 2010
Man Being Honest With Himself

My cock is really small.

Huh?

Wha? What was the question Laser?

Oh yeah, who is Blasphemy Rottmouth?

8 02 2010
the honorable Siler McShaftus

Fair enough Mr Ward. So I guess that foreign object won’t be AS long, or AS thick.

McShaftus has spoken!! Out.

8 02 2010
Taj's Burro

http://www.dlisted.com/node/31705

Splitting a freak peak.

Praise the Laird.

8 02 2010
Elwood

Sorry Blasph. and others but Laird looks like a total tard in a suit.

8 02 2010
Mick Fanning

Mike hasn’t been able to comment today. He’s a little “choked” up… on my seed.

8 02 2010
stu

Brother = Eggers? I think yes.

8 02 2010
stu

Luke Davis = Matt Branson without the tats and edge? Not sure.

8 02 2010
Barry McCockiner

bottom pic is about as fast as Roy Powers paddles away from set waves needing a 4

8 02 2010
lets dance

@Mike

like mike ho said to rabbit in 78.

“bringin my dancin shoes to burleigh brah”.

note to flower mike. if you can’t dance then stay away from the gym.

brah.

8 02 2010
lets travel

oin wayyyy down south

where i can be freeeeeee1111

8 02 2010
the Honorable Siler McShaftus

All RISE..

I propose that a hefty cyber-fine be levied upon Mark each time he uses a new alias. If these sanctions fail to acheive order on this site…well…broomstick up the ass!

Let’s take a bongrip, I mean, uh, recess.

9 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Mike will come back when he damn well pleases.

Stop begging like a pack of famished she-dingos. He made his very astute points in our verbal spar about the man who shalt remain nameless in this comment; took a few haymakers; and even delivered his own poignant jabs. It was the Thrilla in Nugilla. I was even praying to suffer a low-blow (from Ms. Blanchard) but had to settle for Laser® flogging the dead horse of a ghost that no longer exists. But let’s not dwell on the lowlights.

These skirmishes only suffer to polish the luster on our moxie. They help us to knife through the bureaucratic red-tape of the establishment and expose the scabbing underflesh that festers beneath. These minor engagements upon the tundra of surf blogs serve as a means to an end to the global dominance of the established QuikRipBillaHurl, their cronies, and most importantly; ebola itself.

And while we’re at it, is there any more of a whore to his sponsor than JO’B? Laird in heaven. When he dies in seven years due to caffeine induced kidney failure, he’ll be buried in a Red Bull coffin and lowered into the same sticker-lined hole as Josh Kerr’s career.

Intervention, my man. You need some.

CALL ME!

Trust me though. Mike will return with a fury that even Dante himself would fear.

Word.

9 02 2010
LOGO LEAVER

JoB is the leader of the new NASCAR mentality spreading throughout the industry. The monkeys are tired of fighting over scraps from surf companies. Bring on the goods Target, Nike, FORD……… The only question left is who will be the first to ride for WONDER BREAD???? My pick is Fanning as Ricky and bede as Carl Naughton Jr.. SHake and Bake!!!!!

9 02 2010
Dick Trickle

@Logoleaver-

While I don’t think pro surfing can ever rise to the level of NASCAR, I do think JOB would make one hell of a driver, that fucker’s crazy man!! Burnin rule books….HELL YEAH!!

9 02 2010
not the real jimmicane

You poached all these shots nug!!!!

9 02 2010
Demon

Hahahaha

9 02 2010
Mike

Man, can I have one busy day without being the source of one “mans” conjecture? What will happen if I go on a 3 day business trip? Or a surf trip?

Unbelievable… but it’s like arguing with Palin’s baby. Nug posts incredibly funny stuff and one slob can’t stay on topic.

“What are the three things you will do first when you are president?” CNN “reporter” asks the shameless shill who reviews the cheat notes written on her palm and replies….. well, the point is, she talked for 15 minutes and NEVER answered the question.

Here is how it is done Mark…..

9 02 2010
Mike

Wow Nug, funny stuff bro….

Oh, the good ol days, burning opening at the HB Pier…. Bet davey would be gang tackled by “peace” officers today… justified by what non surfers did at an ancient OP Pro.

I believe MP and HO were waiting for Bells to turn on, so a little burn never hurts…. considering how hopeless that situation is.

SUP’s in a pool jousting…. Nug is a genius with photo shop! So fun to come home and find out what the boys are laughing about! Sure takes the edge off a tough day.

Wind is fresh and rain is a fallin…. great day to go to the gym and dance.

9 02 2010
Mike

Before my dear friend Enoch corrects my spelling…allow me….

“burning openly”

9 02 2010
mark

It’s funny but now that the GOP seems to be gaining traction they suddenly seem very unappealing.

Maybe Mike was right. But then again what would a slob like me know?

9 02 2010
mark

Of course Barry hasnt had an actual press conference since July when he had to actually face tough questions from reporters without using a teleprompter.

Screw em all and just go surfing.

9 02 2010
Stumped

Have you people run out of things to say already? Do I need to start making fun of Mike’s cock size, or Mark’s ridiculous political thoughts and alter-egos, or Enochmouth Rottward’s attempt at dark humor, or Lazer’s inability to say anything meaningful, or Dave Mailman’s engorged left testicle?

I mean c’mon folks!

9 02 2010
trauzersnake

@stumped-

Please feel free to INJECT something….I’m personally dyin’ over here.

9 02 2010
trauzersnake

…And about Mike’s cock size…I’m not into cocks (except maybe for my own python)…he may have been a monster at one point, but these days, ahh, let’s not go there.

10 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I just discovered a comment made by someone named BSN in the Perry Hatchett thread below that warrants a response.

I think BSN is really Jimmicane, but until he shows me pictures of his puckered T-Whits asshole, one can never be TOTALLY sure. And to save you all the “gay” comments, Jimmicane and I have never fully, nor completely cuddled.

Whheeeeeee!

10 02 2010
SBSN

But Seriously Now (16:23:29) :

just please don’t come east of the mississippi, any of you west coast blog buffoons. pretty please …..
(older Post)

If he is the real jimmicane then wouldnt he already be in Cali and this would mean he is scared to fight on the west coast??????????

11 02 2010
ButSeriouslyNow...

BSN is JimmyCaneJimbroJimfroEtc. ?
Newp, not even warm.
He would claim it, unlike most of you but nice try.
I think a lot of you are Surf Journalists ( oxymorons ) …

10 02 2010
Dave Mailman

@Stumped
It’s actually the right testicle, but who really cares? Right?

10 02 2010
Mike

Man Nug, that first picture is classic… I laugh every time it comes on screen.

I’ll ignore the boredom that masquerades for commenting as this thread wanes, but I do find it interesting that Dave M responds to testicle conjecture.

As for my cock, and thanks for asking stumped and trauzer, it has been a great gun for me and still shoots more than I pull the trigger. Not that my wife notices…. there’s a certain point in marriage where a man goes solo. Wish I could convey that to the kids, they need to know that before they accept their prison (marriage) sentences. Cruel, cruel world.

10 02 2010
Dave Mailman

Mike,
You don’t even need to be married to go solo! Just have a kid, or spend too much time on the road while still remaining faithful to your beloved!
Testicle conjecture and allusions to masturbation? Hmmmmmmmm.
DM
PS: Time for bed now. I’ll check your site tomorrow. Thanks for the offer!

10 02 2010
sayzar

Anti-depressive media solutions by the noted Charlie Smith and Derek Rielly.
hmm….

http://www.mozladipus.com/

11 02 2010
Why blogs MATTER???

Another blog “stab” recently began moderating after some negative comments about a pro’s(cj) ex wife. Jed posted that he has to moderate because the party in question would view the comments.

My Question is how much are professional surfers allowing the blog world to effect them on a personal level. Samuel Lewis had quite of the CT guys ready to fight and other sites have definetly pissed off others. So at what point do these blogging pros have to realize that by becoming a STAR they now must deal with the STARDOM.
One of the George brothers wrote a long time ago that this is the one sport that kept the private lives of the athletes out of the mainstream, and he was correct then. Now though, these athletes are putting their personal lives out in blogs and should prepare for the backlash. DOES ANYONE THINK THAT TIGER READ EVERY BLOG AND GOT UPSET WHEN SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING BAD????? no because he doesnt care, Unfortunately professional surfers do not posses his confidence and its SAD. Maybe its because the compete in a sport with judges that they have developed a FEMALE ice skaters confidence………………..am I completely off base????

11 02 2010
Why blogs MATTER???

Another blog “stab” recently began moderating after some negative comments about a pro’s(cj) ex wife. Jed posted that he has to moderate because the party in question would view the comments.

My Question is how much are professional surfers allowing the blog world to effect them on a personal level?

Samuel Lewis had quite of the CT guys ready to fight and other sites have definetly pissed off others. So at what point do these blogging pros have to realize that by becoming a STAR they now must deal with the STARDOM.

One of the George brothers wrote a long time ago that this is the one sport that kept the private lives of the athletes out of the mainstream, and he was correct then. Now though, these athletes are putting their personal lives out in blogs and should prepare for the backlash.

DOES ANYONE THINK THAT TIGER READ EVERY BLOG AND GOT UPSET WHEN SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING BAD????? no because he doesnt care, Unfortunately professional surfers do not posses his confidence and its SAD. Maybe its because the compete in a sport with judges that they have developed a FEMALE ice skaters confidence………………..am I completely off base????

11 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Why Blogs Matter,

You have to understand one simple fact about STAB: it is run by Jed Smith. If his tongue was allowed to incubate in a Petri dish for a day, the colon flora and fauna of nearly every CT surfer and Modern Collective cast would burst forth in a most lush display of fertility. So, why should he rock the boat?

Another profound thought on this issue: Jed Smith is simply retarded. His laughable attempts at edginess by putting underage girls on the cover of his rag, using faux racist rants, and having a homosexual like Chas Smith write about surfing; all paint the picture of someone trying to push the boundaries. Fine. Some children out there buy into that dubious shit-sandwich. But, when someone comments on those articles and jokes about a fellow CT competitor’s wife?? Oh, no, no, no you di’int!! Blamo! Moderation baybee!

The edge at STAB is as blunt as the tip of Kai Neville’s cock after jackhammering the fecal matter out of Dion Agius’ rectal cavity.

I learned everything I ever needed to know about STAB, when they ran an article that was focused on the sex appeal of Alana Blanchard, complete with the requisite picture of her signature “bottom” turn. I left a comment under one of my ridiculous aliases to this effect: “Alana’s posterior his so full and round, that when she farts, only whales can hear her.” BLAM! Out came the moderation czar.

11 02 2010
Enoch Ward

And no, I won’t post that response twice.

11 02 2010
Phillip Herwithjizz

This topic never gets old nor should it…

Pro Surfing is still in it’s pre-puberty phase. Many Pro’s act like babies when it comes to dealing with real life issues and the surf media is right there with them.

Time to start growing some sacks boys.

Doug, Barry, and Trauzer…. you got nothing on me.

11 02 2010
Why blogs MATTER???

sorry for double post everyone. this is not that important

example 2
ON Marine Layer Productions, ” My Friend James” Dane goes out of his way to repost what someone blogged about him on a surfer message board. Coincidence?????

Think about what public opinion has done to athletes in other sports. Vince Young is a prime example. The guy almost committed suicide after being booed during a loss.

Athletes’ mind states are probably over the head of most surfers but it makes one think. If I write bad stuff on blogs about surfers not on my team, will their confidence be so low my FANASTY surfers will easily win???

11 02 2010
Elwood

@ wbM,

Keep it coming…. like children they (pro surfers) need us (35+year old life experienced surfers) to beat this into their head over and over and over.

What they don’t realize is it’s really hurting themselves…. if we want our pro’s to be recognized alongside other great athletes… then they need to start thinking and acting more accordingly.

If they just want to hang out, bro out, hide from controversy, show up now and then and surf… so be it. But they are gonna loose out in the long run…. the 5 years and into oblivion cycle will continue.

11 02 2010
Mike

I think you guys are missing something fundamental… celebrities earn disproportionate pay because they effect more people (interest level). When you accept “celebrity”, you accept the scrutiny that self promotion (corporate) invites. Just like the banks, many celebrities profit from the exposure and shirk at the responsibility ( banks privatize profit and socialize risk). You can’t have it both ways and once the door is opened, it remains open until your failing relevance closes it for you.

Why blogs matter? In a corporately controlled message medium that pro surfing has become, blogs are the only source of independent thought. I’ve tried writing and have been rejected by every magazine I submitted to because my perspective isn’t their message. Consolidation of information dissimination is why mainstream “news” becomes increasingly a propaganda tool, Money floats only the opinion that supports Monies position. No different in surfing.

Maybe I am a poor writer and deserve the cold shoulder… I’m fine with that if that is the criteria. But this blog allows me a small voice of reality amidst a storm of marketing that knows no boundary.

The pro surfers in this debate are less than pawns in the game and have been coddled too long. If they accept a paycheck from the publics patronage, so too shall they accept public scrutiny. They can always pull a “Curren” and disappear, but the reality of earning a legitimate income is a sobering reminder that they’ll eventually be back at their corporate puppet masters begging for their strings back.

11 02 2010
Mike

Forgot to mention…

Stab posted a thread about a bouncer who badly injured a pro surfer at a club. Jed’s article was inflammatory and inspired similar responses.

I wrote a metaphor that switched the protagonist and antagonist roles to challenge the Australian courst ruling that exonerated the bouncer. At that moment, Mike became a restricted commentor and Voice of Reality was born.

I could write cunt and fuck all day long, but don’t bring up the inherent hypocrisy of the situation without being edited.

11 02 2010
lazer®

I never bought into the whole “public figure necessitates criticism” argument, Michael; for one, it makes what you and I do here of no more import than such reputable entities as TMZ or USWeekly. That certain individuals profit from their publicity may indeed hold them up to a journalistic spotlight; however, I feel no obligation to join what has become a definitive American media current by mocking their every moment of weakness. The internet has given everyone a megaphone, yet most of these poor fucks didn’t deserve a ham sandwich.

Instead, revel in your censorship; I’ve found it’s the truest way of discovering you’ve hit upon something the system regards as a legitimate weakness. Save your harshest keystrokes for those who need them the most, and therein will you find your life’s purpose.

Alana Blanchard has a nice round rump.

Dane Reynolds’ independent/intellectual artistic vibe wears thin.

Alex Knost is a sickly, bifurcated marmot.

And Jordy Smith may well die at age 33 of 16 different STDs.

11 02 2010
Why blogs MATTER???

example 3 transworld.com today::: an article about a trip to the carribean containing 3 pros from FLa. OPEN OCEAN CARIBBEAN

First response is from a guy named Jay::
“Horrible shots. The level of surfing looks more like my first vacation to costa rica with a couple of old friends, than professional surfers. I swear my wife has better shots of me surfing on her mini digital camera, than these kooks. How in the world is Peter Mendia considered one of the best free surfers in the world?? And how is shea still getting shots run, come on?? “””””

After the normal crew call him a kook (justin COTEX)
SHEA LOPEZ LEAVES A REPLY

“”Where’s the love Jay? Everyone can surf like kelly slater and be as tough as kimbo slice from their computer. Put yourself in the middle of the ocean with half a day travel to medical attention and we will see what you’re made of. This place breaks over fire coral that goes totally dry just inside of you. Peter and Baron surfed this wave with a death wish. Go play with some puppies jay, you obviously need some love in your life. “””

THERE ARE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES AMONGST OUR PROS WHEN IT COMES TO SELFWORTH AND CONFIDENCE.

11 02 2010
Mike

Point taken Lazer…. except what you and I do is not commercial publicity and not necessarily criticism. TMZ and Us sell gossip, as important to the “celebrity” as to the vehicles that sell them.

Our experiment ( surf blogs) undermines the publicity machine because our views have no revenue streams attached. Many here hate Mick Fanning, an opinion that won’t have any mainstream traction because Rip Curl won’t allow it. This freedom of expression is unique to the unfiltered blog, thank you Nug.

Funny thing is…. as surfers we have been collectively marginalized as “Spicolli’s”. But upon closer inspection with other blogs, the commenting here on Nug and post surf is genuinely more compelling and intellectual despite the deviancy and occassional lapse into the absurd. I think we prove the spicolli stereotype wrong.

Don’t believe me? Log onto your favorite sports team blogs and see the carnage of American intellectualism. Or you can pop onto a political forum and read deeply entrenched opinions with no window for enlightenment.

Surf blogs matter because Lazer has a voice.

11 02 2010
Mike

@Why blogs matter????

Some pros have thin skins because they have been sheilded from independent opinion by marketing departments that build them teflon pedestals. Opinion comes in all shapes and sizes as Mark proves daily and that freedom is refreshing.

The three pro’s you mention were lost in their own generation, so it should be expected that their confidence may be thin ice under a Caribbean sun.

11 02 2010
lazer®

Truth be told, I only signed up for the deviancy and absurd lapses.

And while I agree that our espousals run counter to what modern surf culture has devolved into, there is a tendency to criticize before thinking which tends to (I’m gonna go ahead and use your word here, Michael) marginalize our already humble typings (no offense to Señor Nug, you do fine work).

Other than that, carry on you silver-tounged baboons! Notice the mammalian theme to my writing today; can’t explain it.

11 02 2010
Why blogs MATTER???

thanks for the input guys. Everyday NUG is up I will learn something new even if I am working.

cheers…. its 5 oclock on the east coast…

11 02 2010
trauzersnake

did somebody say thin-skins???

11 02 2010
Elwood

stay covered T-Snake.

11 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Ahhh, that is better. That article on Why Blogs Matter over at Surfermag (click my name for the link) was…well….what the fuck was the part about Brian Williams and John Stewart again?

More importantly, it got the comments moving in Nuggieland again. Things had been devolving to a point where we all learned way more than we wanted to know about Mailman and Mike’s solosexuality. Not that we don’t love you, fellas.

Oh, and @ Why Blogs Matter…Yes, you are pretty far off base.The Top 20 are not walking around stressing about what Trauzersnake or Jamon Bagel think of them. (JOB, though, he might be a little worried about the Hammy).

And I thought Shea’s response was pretty funny. Fair game.

12 02 2010
Why blog matter

Just an hypothesis.

11 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Trauzersnake 23:54,

When you said “Stumped,” you really meant PeterPerfect right?

11 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Or, Lazer®… until he made a triumphant return today.

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