Why Did the ASP Axe Perry Hatchett?

4 02 2010

Perry Hatchett, the longest-serving head judge in ASP history, is out. Photo: ASL

Scapegoat \ˈskāp-ˌgōt\ noun
a: one that bears the blame for others
b: one that is the object of irrational hostility.
     

In sports, a judge, official or referee is a thankless job.     

Perry Hatchett, the ASP’s now ex-head judge, held the position since 1997. Australia’s Surfing Life broke the story yesterday. Technically he was not fired. They just did not renew his contract. Because the ASP has essentially been silent on the matter, I can only speculate on their logic and timing. The 2010 season begins in less than a month.  So why was he really let go? Was it because…   

a) He thought a rodeo clown was a Brazilian midget from São Paulo.    

b) He threatened to leave and replace Simon Cowell on American Idol.    

c) Former Russian Olympic judge Igor Kasmanov said he’d replace Hatchett for half the price—as long as Alana Blanchard joins Russia’s ice skating team.     

d) ASP CEO Brodie Carr saw Modern Collective and lost his marbles. He couldn’t believe such maneuvers were possible. He had to do something quickly. Since Oliver North was unavailable Hatchett was the next logical scapegoat.     

e) Rebel Tour dementia got the best of the ASP stakeholders, causing the same I-can-do-anything-I-want syndrome that urged Napoleon and Hitler to invade Russia in the winter.  

f) He was unable to understand the “revised” judging criteria because they changed it from paragraph from to bullet point form.      

All kidding aside, Hatchett was true ambassador for the sport and ASP leadership has suffered from Bugs-itis since Rabbit Bartholomew stepped down as ASP President at the end of the 2008 season. This is yet another blow. Bugs gave the tour even more legitimacy. He was a surfer’s surfer. A former world champ. He was instrumental in making the Association better for everyone. The Dream Tour was his concept. His baby. He wasn’t an absolute savior by any means. He couldn’t turn water into wine. But, in a way, he turned Huntington into Trestles and Allentown into Chopes. And we can thank Bugs and Mr. Hatchett for that.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

90 responses

4 02 2010
Mike

It might be simple Nug… when newer management experiences urgency, the inclination is to remove the possibility of disapproving tenure. Score a new Head Judge on the cheap and kick the can (issues) down the road. With the presidents new schedule unveiling complete idiocy, possibly Hatchett was the voice of reason that wasn’t consulted… and wasn’t appreciated. Someone had to object.

Can’t give Bugs that much credit, his tenure allowed the sponsor corporations unprecedented control. He never built the ASP brand independent of those corps and he left a sinking ship. Kinda like George Bush or Pete Carroll.

27 02 2010
rivadogga

Perry Hatchett
cant surf & cant judge
give respect to get respect
Aloha is more than skin deep Bra !
The Hatchett family song ” if ya day is done and u want to ride on cocaine “

4 02 2010
logo leaver

G) left to make man love to sunny in hawaii …..

Who knew how close they were??????

4 02 2010
Enoch Ward

(Not to get too far off topic, but does anyone have a link to Lewis Samuels’ editorial in Surfer? I don’t usually read anything besides TSJ. If not, I’ll drop by a Library this evening and photocopy it.)

4 02 2010
Enoch Ward

The New American Idol:

Contestant bearing a striking resemblance to Dane Reynolds belts out a Jay Reatard-tinged cover of Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day;” turns to the judges and silently awaits the verdict.

Randy: “Yo dawg, that was hawt. Kinda quirky. Kinda edgy. A little ‘out there’… but you know what? I’m kinda diggin’ it dawg. Ima say yes.”

Posh Spice: “I look like Skeletor. …Huh? Wha? What was the question? Oh, yeah, I kinda liked your version. And your hot too. I say yes as well.”

Perry Hatchet: “I don’t know. I’d prefer you to sing Sinatra standards exactly the way he did them. He was brilliant back then. Ah, the good ol’ days. I don’t think the world is ready for something this different yet. Plus Coca-Cola is sponsoring this event and they really like that 16 year old girl that just came through and sang that popular Mary Kate Ashley J. Blige song. Or whatever her name was. I going to pass on you. Maybe next time… sorry.”

4 02 2010
m

so bugs was really a rat?

who is mike, sounds like he knows his shit

4 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@m,

Mike works full time dispensing the back of his left hand against Mark’s right butt cheek.

4 02 2010
Mark

How about some QS info Nug? The way the new ASP system works, at least from what i can tell, makes these 6 star prime events, like Fernando De Noronha right now, more important than ever. A couple of 6 star prime wins along with doing well as a wildcard in a CT event
could catapult a QSer into the big leagues by Trestles.

And can we PLEASE ease up on the Mike worship? It is good to have Mike back in the game but let’s not treat the guy like he is the ultimate in pro surfing knowledge.

And what about Gabriel Medina? Is this guy going to make the tour? Can he transfer that freaking insane aerial act into man carves and thick barrel rides?

What do you think Nug? Or should I just ask Mike directly since he knows all?

4 02 2010
The Nug

I just got off the phone with Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis and he loves this move.

@Mark
Funny you should mention it. WQS post coming very soon with a very special guest appearance. And for the record, no one knows how the new ranking system works exactly. Not even most of the surfers on tour. They could do a better job at explaining things. Like the points system. 6 star win vs CT win etc. etc.

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Leftover from last thread…and, I think, important to know.

I just learned that the energy drink in company stepped up HUGE after McConkey checked out of planet earth in most dramatic fashion. In fact, they stepped up way more than anyone expected to make sure his family’s needs are met. Frankly I’m surprised. But if I were, say, JOB, I’d feel a little better about pimpin myself real hard for that particular company…

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Correction, that should have said “the energy drink company in question.”

And now back to more topical matters…

Mark, I believe you were saying something about “man carves and thick barrel rides”…
Once again, I am feeling uncomfortable on your behalf.

As for Mike, makes sense about his depth of surfing knowledge. From what I can tell he spends a lot more time on nugable.com than on his business. Zingpow, Mike. Your move.

4 02 2010
Squirrel

CT/WQS this year:

CT will get chopped to top 32 at mid point
Noone from QS gets bumped up at mid way point. That starts next season.
Only points from CT wins will contribute to world title

I’m wondering how the heats will be broken down when it goes to Top 32 plus 3 wildcards.

4 02 2010
Jimmicane

I had a dream…
That one day ASP judges could actually judge aerial surfing and not just give 9’s and 10’s for dipshits doing double grabs.

Could this dream become reality? It just may.

4 02 2010
Mark

@Jamon Bagel

Do you even surf? I mean it is cool how you stood up for the xtreme skier guy and all but I am having a difficult time taking you seriously.

You are such a kook that I think I will skip breakfast tomorrow and go for an early lunch.

Breakfast, like Mike’s surfing knowledge, is highly OVER RATED.

4 02 2010
Mike

Hold on Breakfast boy…. I hold “email” conferences with several vendors/clients and have a second screen( Nug, Stab, SI, etc) to distract the downtime between responses. Check my timing… it comes in bunches.

As for my “knowlege”… if you reduce any challenge to it’s real premise, a solution appears like magic. The frustration with pro surfing is that this paradigm doesn’t apply to ASP decisions.

My accountant once told me… keep your returns clean and simple, anything complicated deserves the red flag it raises. Think about it, banking “crisis”… the fine print on your mortgage or insurance policies, the “complexities” of war and of course, the ASP rulebook. The complexities are merely the chaotic distraction that enables institutional theft while the sheep avoid the intellectual challenge.

Consider this, if the ASP rule book is so vague that all of us active surfers can’t figure it out, what power does that give them? Ambiguity is the corporate cloud that allows compromised($) decisions secrecy.

When Marks favorite president instituted a color coding for terrorist warnings, did W ever explain how SCARED we should be at each level? Was there any mention of what we should do at each level of warning? No, the “threat” level is manipulated as a device to distract a population with fear while strings are being pulled that garnish no attention.

Not saying the ASP is Machevellian like that, but NONE of us know why they do what they do. I’ll bet Quiksilver does. As long as we all feel so lost in the process, our critiques lack conviction and the corporate response can spin into eternity.

4 02 2010
Mark

I couldnt understand Mike’s comment so i called one of my buddies who has 8 useless degrees from elitist liberal universities to translate it for me.

His assesment after reading it? Mike needs to spend less time devouring the Huffington Post and more time appreciating the tremendous benefits we get living in America and being able to watch pro surfing on the internet.

And BTW Jamon. I am just gettin ready for a nice steak with some mashed potatoes and gravy washed down with an icy Heineken while watching Florida at Bama in college hoops. Nothing like a great dinner wouldn’t you agree?

4 02 2010
Smyrnajeff

Rather sink a coldie with Dubya than Barry O any day.

4 02 2010
Meatwad

mark would drink Heineken.

4 02 2010
Wounded Albatross

@ Mike
Hopefully the wool just got a little thinner for some of these boys.

@Nug
I propose a “Post Surf Pot Luck™ “. A quasi “fish fry,” of sorts. Special guests Perry Hatchett and Jesse Ventura… *&#$ OFF im not kidding! I can line a house in Rodanthe (off season) of course. Get Lewis onboard and Ill do the rest!

Nug, I’m serious!

4 02 2010
Doug McCockiner

Perhaps the CT can be taken seriously when they drop shit ass names like rodeo clown from their illustrated trick manual. At this point, those hacks probably have a grom on the beach, walkie-talkie in hand, relaying the names of the grabs and tricks.

In a recent Surfing article, many industry heads are praising aspects of Mitch Coleborn’s surfing, ASP royalty Al Hunt had this to say “He isn’t getting any results on the WQS, so I guess that says it all.“

Progressive thinking…

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Sweet. Bashed by Mike and Mark in back to back texts.

You might even say I got…

…sandwiched.

PS, Mike, I was referring not to your fecundity on this site, per se, but rather to the fact that you have posted many comments, over several days, while at least one of your potential clients’ emails remains unanswered.

And Mark, speaking as a guy who presents himself as a breakfast food on a surf blog called Nugable, I am devastated that you are not taking me seriously. But once in awhile I do paddle out, stand up, and throw a turn or three…

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

PPS to Mark: An early lunch is really just a late breakfast…

4 02 2010
Smyrnajeff

@Jamon Bagel

My friend lives in Newport Rhode Island. I am meeting him in early March for a week or so hangin out.

Buy you a beer?

4 02 2010
trauzersnake

I bet Mark dosen’t do the fucking organic thing..breakfast lunch, or dinner.

4 02 2010
Mike

Jam, the Wellington office sends me email in folders, none today or yesterday… we have a tour happening this week. I’ll get it soon.

When Mark is hungry, autopilot takes over and everything seems organic.

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

@SJ: Make sure you bring a 5-mil with all the trimmings. Wouldn’t want to miss it if it’s on, which it probably won’t be. But when the swell comes it’s generally very good. If I can make it out that way I would never say no to a brew from a bro! Click the link for my local beer of choice. Note the guy named Clam….kind of says it all.

4 02 2010
Mike

Jamon, do you know Treasure Mike?

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Jeez, Trauz, organic food makes you really angry eh?

4 02 2010
trauzersnake

Yes!! Like when you go to arestaraunt with a friend who’s into that, and the poor waitress has to go through an oral interview-is the chicken free-range? Is that halibut farm raised-through the whole goddam menu.

Ahh, maybe it’s the roids in the regular food that get me goin!!

FUCK IT!!

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Aaaah, I get it. You are actually pissed at the pain-in-the-arse people who try to force their own ethos on everyone else. The food is just the food. That makes sense.

4 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

@Mike: No sir, this bagel is pretty transplanted and tends to roll solo….takes awhile in New England to form a network. Is Treasure Mike someone I should know?

And what is this about emails in a folder? Like, pieces of paper with emails printed on them? I am confused…what century is this?

4 02 2010
trauzersnake

@jamon-

Thx. I raise this ice-cold sierra nevada to you, good sir.

4 02 2010
trauzersnake

Doug McCockiner…hehehe.

4 02 2010
trauzersnake

@jamon again-

Plus I have this automatic word-association thing when I hear the term “organic” like organic material, like…manuer.

But that’s just me.

4 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Ace ‘Mother’ Buchan just threw down some trash on Perry at Stab. I won’t quote the interview here, because you’ve all read it, even though it was conducted by that nutless clown Jed Smith. However, it does lend credence to the reason Sunny Garcia is so upset. His one trick pony in 10 foot surf, while impressive in the 90’s and early 00’s, will not translate to every other break in the world. At least not to those who wish to see the sport loose itself from the bonds of mentally challenged ‘three to the beach’ slavery.

If ‘Mother’ Buchan is right, then adios Taylor Knox, B-Mart, and **gasp** Mick Fanning.

Hallelujah!

By the way, who is Ace Buchan? Wasn’t he the 15th President of the United States?

5 02 2010
logo leaver

-First of all i pretty sure Perry and Sunny are going to spend retirement together. -Second ass long as their is barreling left or two Martinez will be relevant.
-Third how old are you?? if you want T Knox off tour you must be 12 and be the bait For and upcoming ” to catch a predator episode” starring NUG. A few years ago at Jbay Pro T knox threw down a fewe of the sickest arcs the planet will ever see. (round 1??) NOONE will match that in MOD COL. He then followed that up with a 3 in the next round, CLASSIC BONEHEAD.
– mick can stay as long as he wants. when i open a beer for chick after walking thru dogshit at party with my FANNING SLIPPERS, there is nothing funnier………..(asp bullet Style FOr YOU nug)

5 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Trauz, you crack me up. And I gotta agree that Sierra goes great with ham, organic or otherwise.

5 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

Trauz, you crack me up. And I gotta agree that Sierra goes great with ham, organic or otherwise.

LL, note the link.

5 02 2010
Jamon Bagel

…but you must not, under any circumstances, open the beer with the Fanning sandal.

Even if it does very precisely, and with speed, tear the top off my bottle three times in a row, then claim it.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@logoleaver

Look, I’m sure there are some salient points in your comment somewhere. It’s just a shame that I can’t read or interpret scrawlings that my four year old son would be ashamed of. I mean, you can always type your comment in Word beforehand so you can at least correct some of the typos and grammar. That would keep us from going dizzy trying to interpret your prose.

And nobody is looking for perfection here. Laird knows I’ve dropped my share of typos and grammatical errors when I get lazy. But for Laird’s sake man, do it for the children!

Just trying to help.

5 02 2010
Mike

The old schoolmarm Enoch chastising the text generation Logoleaver’s abuse of the english language… classic, too bad Blasph isn’t here to chuckle.

Let me try to make Logo’s point…. Taylor Knox represents the best example of technique in surfing and will be relevant as long as the trampoline kids ( Modern Collective) fail to understand how much better their act would be if they applied some rail to their launch.

Second, Bobby Martinez is the best goofey foot… ever. He destroyed Rincon the other day and made God ( curren) look old and safe. Occy set the future up and Bobby is running with it. Ace Buchan is solid, but he has none of Bobby’s explosion.

We all know you hate Fanning, Enoch. I’ll let that debate die, argued it too many times.

Now go to school and learn your three “R”s, Logo leaver.

5 02 2010
logo leaver

Wake and bake !!!

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Oh, Knox, B-Mart, and Fanning will be around all right. For without darkness, there can be no light. They are a necessary component to the equation. I liken it thusly:

I have a friend who is a prominent architect in Chicago. He has established a well known firm that has designed some of the most cutting-edge buildings all over the world. Their general philosophy lends itself to pairing the creative prowess of the youngsters just coming out of college with the older, more established managers who know the building codes inside and out. The marriage of the two creates a final product that is both innovative, awe inspiring, and sound.

Only rarely does the talent come along that fulfills both these chores to their utmost potential. Santiago Calatrava, Frank Gehry (crumpled soda-can buildings notwithstanding), Thom Mayne, etc… However, as a person who operates such a high level firm must always be on the lookout for these gems. It’s much easier to teach the technical aspects of art, than it is to meld someone’s mind into a creative genious.

I appreciate the technical aspects to the aforementioned surfers. They lay lines on a wave that could only be drawn with a French curve. But we already know they aren’t the next Slater or Curren. They’re just very good – but nowhere near great. I look to the youth for their natural creativity and innovation in the sport. They alone, who have the potential to learn the technical aspects of their sport.

Most will fail.

But I am ever hopeful that there is a gem, perhaps even amongst this current generation, that can pull it all together and match it with the burning competitive fires of Orc.

Now, I am going to go flounder in the bathtub with my rubber duckies. My mind is melted.

5 02 2010
Elwood

Some nice commentary here,

Not to keep tossin Mikes salad or anything… but I must agree with him again with regards to B-Mar. I too have witnessed him at Rincon this winter and it was the best backside surfing at a right point that I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve heard the same from plenty of others.

Which leads to another point when breakin down the ASP.. goofy-footers are at a huge disadvantage on the tour with almost half the events held at right point breaks. B-Mar and occasionally one of the Goods can sometimes crack through the quarters at the right points… but the traditional frontside gouges of the usual suspects seem to always prevail.

Also, aren’t the venues set up to really favor the established crew on tour. It starts off a Snapper Rock which favors tight-quick frontside pocket snaps and the occasional barrel mixed in (think Slater, Fanning, Parko, Bede, Taj)…. Guarantee that 4 of those 5 will be in the semi’s. Wave doesn’t really favor new age moves, backside surfing, etc. etc. Then off to Bells…. A heavy footed regular-footers dream wave. High tide side-shore waves…no new age moves here. Frontside power gouges are again the move that works… think the usual suspects and maybe throw T. Knox, T. Whitaker, and maybe A.I, in the mix. Very tough for goofies to sustain any kids of rhythm here although Freddy P. and B- Mar have tried. Not to mention all the new crew on the tour will have the wrong equipment here (some like Bruce never figured it out).

A new progressive surfer would be lucky to head to Brazil with one 17th .

Not really sure how the judging works around this… seems like it’s more ingrained in the whole system.

5 02 2010
lazer®

Taylor Knox is by far the best example of old school full-rail power surfing combined with the board design revolution post-1980s; Dane Reynolds lists him as one of the most influential surfers of all time. What the new generation of pump-and-jumpers lacks is a transitionary stage to their movements; this is what made Andy Irons’s surfing so revolutionary. There is a subtle, fleeting moment between the shift of weight during a rail transition in which energy from the wave is transmitted from board to rider. The greats (Slater, Knox, Irons) are able to capture the otherwise transient energy from this seemingly inconsequential stage, using the momentum to enhance their quality of body movement and create a more organic bottom turn or gouge. It is this seamlessness of transitions that the ASP refers to as “flow”.

This is not to say that modern surfing’s prototypes (Reynolds, Payne, Coleborn et al) are not pushing the envelope in their own right. However, as you watch their surfing you will immediately notice a fundamental disconnect from the aesthetically pleasing styles of the aforementioned. Looking closer, you may begin to appreciate the enormously different approaches and why the former is viewed as more appealing; trick surfers, for whatever reason, always seem to be in a hurry to get to the next section of the wave, completely abandoning a plethora of wave energy as they skip along. To watch a so-called ‘progressive’ surfer today is to see a multitude of tricks, spins, and slides without a cohesive structure in which to frame it. Andy Irons’ board slides out from under him because of the massive amount of pressure applied by his back foot and the momentum created by opening his shoulders to the wave, while Mitch Coleborn achieves the same effect quickly skimming his board across a wave’s open fact and loosening his back foot. Both achieve the same result, but with two vastly different techniques.

All this jibber-jabber is just to say that a self-professed surfer who doesn’t consider Taylor Knox’s oeuvre equivalent to other legends of the sport is either ignorant of surfing’s stylistic history or lacking in the requisite experience to make an informed judgement. Or both.

5 02 2010
lazer®

Bitches.

5 02 2010
lazer®

And don’t tell me I misspelled words. Like ‘fact’ for ‘face’. This is all.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

I’m not ready to unleash the “legendary” tag on a perennial bottom half of the top-10 finisher with zero titles and very few wins.

He’s good.

Not great.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

T-Knox average finish in his 53 years on tour?

17.6.

Legendary.

5 02 2010
lazer®

Yet you criticize Fanning, 2x champ? And apparently idolize Reynolds, winner of precisely fuck-all?

Step your game up, sonny.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Legendary in this generation? = Slater and Irons

The categories below legendary are open for debate. I would consider T-Knox on the second or third tier below legendary. I mean, he’s never even reached the bride’s maid level of Joel and Taj.

5 02 2010
Elwood

A 4 man heat with T. Know, Danny Wills, Phil McDonald, and T. Whitaker…. who wins?

5 02 2010
logo leaver

Who cares? Who is watching ? (other than jimmicane he loves whitts)

5 02 2010
logo leaver

Who is T. know???

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Hmmm, I missed the part where I said I idolized Reynolds. As I stated before, most, if not all new schoolers will fail. That’s why I don’t bestow the “legend” tag on anyone prematurely. But there is hope that one of these young guns “may” evolve into a legend. They are young enough and have the creativity to have a shot.

And don’t get me started on Mick’s 2 championships. Name something innovative that Fanning brought to the sport. Name something that our grandkids will remember. He won two commendable title by following the rule book. Slater and AI forced the judges to change when they were in their prime. Fanning pushed the status quo to the limit.

And that’s just not interesting to me.

5 02 2010
lazer®

Joel and Taj are what happens when you start with Taylor Knox and take opposite approaches reflecting personal preferences. Parkinson’s surfing is promethazine-dipped Ambien flow, Burrows’ Adderall/cocaine spasticity. But owing to the same fundamental origins.

My personal favorite of the new crop, regarding style: Kekoa Bacalso.

5 02 2010
logo leaver

How can you judge greatness with a system that has shown repeatedly to have a myriad of flaws? Where do you rate Eddie Aikau?

28 02 2010
rivadogga

Eddie went but u know so do heaps of others so i dont rate Eddie over anyone in fact i dont rate because who am i to rate ?

i just go day in day out Bra

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

Lazer’s descriptions of Taj and Joel are spot-on excellent, btw.

5 02 2010
Mike

I get your drift Enoch… talented youth has yet to be suffocated by the box, while the guile of experience feeds off the fresh inspiration and gives that energy purpose.

Elwood and Lazer make great points…. But it wasn’t too long ago that the tour was heavily weighted left…. Chopes, Cloudbreak, Bali, Mundaka, Pipe. I agree Bells is a fat chick no one wants to fuck…. hell, I surfed Winki every trip and my boards never worked at fat rincon. Elwood is right, the first three contests of next season favor old school surfing and after a three month hiatus, none of us will care what happened in Oz (and Brazil). Shameful scheduling, so backloaded and utterly misguided.

Lazer hit on something profound…. the segues between turns are equally important to the full extension of each turn. Some of the trampoline actors can’t link and no matter how spectacular a recovery may be…. surfing well wouldn’t require such a dramatic miracle. Jordy’s rodeo was perfect because he set it up well and landed into another beautiful turn. It’s about the movie, not just one scene.

Nice job boys, inspired comments.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@logo leaver

Jimmicane’s lips are made out of Tommy Whitt’s asshole. That’s why it looks odd when Jimmi puckers for the camera. Can’t really fault the guy for what our Laird and Saviour bestowed him with.

5 02 2010
logo leaver

Not anymore. Now he has Brett Barley asshole lips.

5 02 2010
Mike

Reynolds has the full arsenal, that’s why his surfing is so compelling. He uses the full rail to extract the most out of his hits, a lesson for everyone.

It’s hard for me to see Fanning as perfunctory Enoch. It may be formula, but it’s still rad. Damien Hardman and Derek Ho were perfunctory. I can’t paint Mick with that same brush, no matter how bored you are of him. And his comeback this year was full on and the ASP fucked the final showdown, not Mick. He did his job and laid the wood to Dane at Lowers.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Mike, Lazer, Elwood, log, et al,

Indeed. We need more of these masterful debates. Especially when it’s raining and blown to hell outside.

6 02 2010
ButSeriouslyNow

Oh, you are quite the bunch of masturful-debators indeed. Talk about jimmy having someone’s assholes for lip’s …

8 02 2010
Seriously, but seriously now

It amazes me that everyone gets so upset when jimmicane is called out. Isn’t he the reason everyone feels they have right to hate.

Jimmicane opened Pandora’s Box with “That’s Bullshit” and thankfully the surf world will never be the same. However Jimmicane kisses more ass than a presidential candidate and he will never be able to do double grabs. This is why he has so much animosity towards them………

9 02 2010
BSN

Speaking for myself, Upset?
Not hardly.
This is Blog World so let the Bullshit fly high and wide and proud.
Hypocrisy, however, should be called out wherever it raises it’s ugly mug and one thing I know about JimmyBro-Cane-Bo-Fro etc. is he’s not much of one of those types.
He shoots off at the mouth without thinking like a champ sometimes but he stands by his convictions and will be the first to call himself out when he fucks up.
You do, however, have to laugh at certain individuals calling Jimmy ( next new nick-name name here ) out for ass-kissing when you have one big tongue-to-anal-probe fest going on here, most especially when ‘some people’ opining such things are on their knees sucking each others cocks so often about how wonderful and witty their collective writing genius and rapier sharp repartee is amongst themselves and bash the kid for ‘ass-kissing’ some pro surfer.
What’s the diff there?
Ain’t one.

PS- he really, actually does not like rail grabs for a number of reasons he has clearly articulated besides ‘they suck’, which one of his all time fave call-out’s

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

@Lazer-

Fuck, now there’s “organic” bottom turns too?? Where the fuvk does this thing end man? What’s next, organic thin-skins???

5 02 2010
From Someone Who Knows...

Perry Hatchett out-stayed his welcome by five years. The surfers wanted him sacked ages ago, and frankly, the idea that one man can hold such a position for so long is detrimental to the sport of surfing. He was nothing but abusive and tyrannical in regards to the judging panel, and was well out-of-touch with modern surfing. The surfers wanted him gone, and this finally seems like a smart decision by the ASP. It’s about time.

28 02 2010
rivadogga

Perry Hatchett scarborough beach hoodad u ever seen a wave at that place ends up thinking he is bigger than surfing infact thinks he is surfing way to much coke in that fella ..

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

Why isn’t there a WCT event @ maverick’s or waimea, or dungeons….hMMMMMMMMMMM????

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

Am I really that far off base here? If you’re gonna have a world champion of surfing…shoulen’t that breadth cover everyting from average huntington to g-land to Mavs and eveything in between??

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

…I forgot like tow-in Jaws and stuff too.

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

And by Maverick’s I mean the same, normal elimination format.

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

If we’re going to have a legit World Champ, I would like that champion to exhibit the ability to pee in a buffalo’s ass with the skill and dexterity of Jed Smith.

Anything less would just be… well, maybe not gay… but certainly homosexual.

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

@BR-

R U trying to d-rail my rare, relevant comment….IF THERE IS GOING TO BE A WORLD CHAMPION OF SURFING, then why isn’t there a CT event@Maverick’s and tow -in Jaws conditions?
anlvericks’s and toe-in jaed conditions

PS…forget the gibberish @ the end, couldn’t delete it…ALKEEHALLLLL

28 02 2010
rivadogga

man its simple if you try to sell a big wave traditional event to the media they dont want to know about it because the best surfer may only pick off 1 or 2 really good ones in a whole day session so for the general public this is dull all they want to see if 30 secon snaps on the news of crew going over the falls backwards …….

how can you judge the surfers ability in big surf to even get into postion and actually se himself up to achive making the drop

i would suggest if you dont undderstand then u have never spent enough hours in big surf ducking a weaving waiting days and months sometime years for that special one that you know hits the right spot for your take of style to enable you to make the wave all the way through or even just get to the bottom and slide a rail to the face and then slip over the back

sometimes i read crap and it really does my head in at the reality of how many people really dont get the whole surfing thing

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

It’ll probly take u a while to compose the next less-than-brief comment…so with that I bid u g’nite sir…my fingers R getting fatter on this handiheld as we speak….check ya t’morrow

5 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Trauzer,

What could you possibly have against buffalo…?

… oh…

… i see…

Well, it’s okay. You haven’t cuddled afterwards have you?

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

Mr. Rottmouth, may I remind you that you are still under oath…,now please answer the question….”If we are going to have a world champion so surfing, then why is there not a W CT event at maverick’s et. Al.??? A simple question mr. Rottmouth…..

5 02 2010
trauzersnake

That shood v been “world champion OF surfing” gaawddammit!!,

6 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@Trauzer,

Fair point. But in the sake of fairness, wouldn’t we also have to hold a contest in the world’s smallest conditions?

Like, Newps during the average 365 days of the year. Or, Pipe in early December. Or Florida at anytime of the year.

Only then, would I sign off on such a ludicrous rule.

6 02 2010
trauzersnake

I believe I spelled out “average huntington and everythig in between” above, mr rottmouth. Which would impicintly envompass st. Augustine, o’side, and casino pier….again, the court is growing weary (and drunk)…please cease to skirt your way around the question…”IF WE ARE GOING TO CROWN A WORLD CHAMPION OF SURFING, THEN WHY IS THERE NOT A CT EVENT STAGED @ MAVERICK’S?”

6 02 2010
SmyrnaJeff

It can go flat for months at a time T Snake you dumb ass.

6 02 2010
the Honorable Siler McShaftus

Mr Jeff, your comment is without merit. We live in a world of fairly accurate long-range forecasts and the logistics are doable. Please strike mr. Jeff’s comment from the record.

Mr Jeff, anymore outbursts such as this from you and I will hold you in contempt, where by your O-ring will be repeatedly violated with a broomstick…no lube, do you understand??

That is all.

7 02 2010
PeterPerfect

lazer®
Sir, outstanding analysis all through this thread. A good read gentlemen.

10 02 2010
Enoch Ward

@BSN:

First, it would behoove you to comment at the bottom like every other numbskull here instead of nesting your little gem in a place no one will see or care about.

Second, rather than sit bitterly on the sidelines while others verbally shadow-box for the mere pleasure of exercising their minds in between sessions; why don’t you just join in the fun and mix things up a bit? There’s nothing wrong with sharing a good cock joke, delving into the fuckery of the ASP system, or testing your comprehension skills. At the end of the day, we’re all just surfers blowing our mental wads while waiting for the next wave.

Being offended by the occasional camaraderie amongst a select few just reveal a ‘potential’ weakness in your thought process. We can help. I can help. Bring me your burden.

Thirdly, I apologize for the semen that entangled itself in your mind’s eye. Kindly wipe that shit off, and act like a man… or prepare a clean landing surface for the fruit of our continual circle-jerk.

Regards,

Enoch.

10 02 2010
SBSN

People like Jimmy are what are wrong with Jax Jaguars. No one should support them. Fred Taylor played there his whole career. After a half year with the Patriots he said they prepared and practiced far longer and harder than the jags. (Keep in mind that he is a backup with them and still prepared harder) But people continue to blow smoke up there ass. LA can have them, because who wants to rally around a bunch of lazy millionaires. If I wanted that I would watch basketball…….

PS. i know this hurts far worse than some stupid dick comment…

10 02 2010
SBSN

the truth hurts me too!!!

10 02 2010
Dave Mailman

If you’re bored or care enough about the Perry issue to have made it to the bottom of this thread, go over to InSurfNews and read what Freddy P and Phil Macca have to say about the whole thing. Probably the best “coverage” of the issue currently on the net. Having said that, “coverage” is a big word since it’s mostly all opinions and conjecture anyway… Hmmmmmm.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: