Five Surfers, Five Quotes

5 01 2010


Dane Reynolds
“I’m a painter in my dreams, you know.”
— Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

 
Owen Wright
“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and
lets the future in.”
— Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory


Mick Fanning
“Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can!”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby


Joel Parkinson
“Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.”
— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood


Andy Irons
“Do anything, but let it produce joy. Do anything, but let it yield ecstasy.”
— Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer

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64 responses

5 01 2010
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What? No love for me?

5 01 2010
Jay

How about this one for Chris Ward:
“I’m not saying you’re an awful failure or anything. I realize that you’re not a drug addict or a murderer. But besides me, let’s face it, you don’t look the highest of achievers.”
Kazuo Ishiguro from Nocturnes

5 01 2010
Anonymous Former Commenter

How about this for Kekoa Becalso:

” I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a couple of hamburgers today”.

Wimpy from the Popeye cartoon.

5 01 2010
trauzersnake

Good one, MARK

5 01 2010
Chris Cote

boooooring

5 01 2010
Anonymous Former Commenter

@Cote

Not as boring as a surf mag with seemingly 80% advertsing content and, of the 20% that isn’t advertisng, 90% aerials performed by pimple faced 15 year olds that have never even got to second base.

But the Broism thing is cute.

5 01 2010
The Nug

Chris Cote:
“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
–Woody Allen

7 01 2010
fla

he also said sex with 6 years old is the best!!!!!!!!

5 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

Sooooo: Nug posts quotes from Kurt and Haruki Murakami here. Notice anything strange? How about the letter K showing up THREE times in those names!!

KKK.

Nice, Nug; real nice. Or should I call you HITLER?

Yeah, I broke your little code. I’m keeping an eye on you, man. Because people like you turned my beloved great-grandfather into a Nazi lampshade. We recovered it and now keep it in the family living room… not just because it is a stark iconic reminder of the horrors of bigotry and racism, but because it puts out a warm flesh-tone glow that really pulls the room together.

We love our gramp-lamp. Had to run a disposable shaver over it the other day though and rub it down with baby oil.

I’ve turned your little KKK subliminal plot over to the same crew that shut down PostSurf and LikeBitchin; we’re keeping an eye on you, Nug.

5 01 2010
Bama fever

This hurts because I think he is the most fluid surfer in the history of the sport. But it has to be said.
A quote for Joel parkinson:

” If you can’t score from the one yard line you don’t deserve to win.”

Paul “Bear” Bryant.

5 01 2010
Nathan B. Forrest

KKK???

Sir Nug, we would like to offer you a formal invitation to our next rally… Err, I meant social gathering. What size hood do you wear?

5 01 2010
Mike

Amongst all Marks football frenzy, Blasphemy’s historical slueth and Cote’s impression of the view in his mirror, one memory stands out.

At the risk of “blasphemy” at the altar of Dane, the first photo reminds me of the chosen ones inabiltiy to surf 3 heats ( one hour and a half) in a day. Exhausted and thoroughly depleted by waist high, lully Lowers, Golden Boy pulled an unprecedented drama queen and received “medical” attention prior to not showing up against the machine in the final. Pathetic. I know that our esteemed blog author is a Dane ophile, but nothing defines the term WEAK like that photograph of a desperate child in search of emergency hydration.

Salt on the wound would be if jet ski’s assisted the prodigy in one of the worlds smallest lineups. I can’t remember, but those damn things are always buzzing around…. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

5 01 2010
Jamon Bagel

You’re right Mark. Dane needs to have a bit more respect for his own talent. Shit, who here wouldn’t give at least one testicle to surf half as good as that guy. Trauzer, you’re excused from that….I know you need them to get around. Though unicycle is back in style they say.

So here’s an alternate quote for Reynolds:

“A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching.” -from Shitmydadsays (dad is the greatest American philosopher since…ever).

I missed a lot being lost for the holidays. Nice effort Nug, particularly the xmas poem. Mark, congratulations on quitting again. Blasphemy, it seems your “rosy” period has ended and you are once again again coated in a thick sheen of oily noxious filth.

Very inspiring : )

5 01 2010
Mike

Ah, breakfast humor returns to an empty kitchen.

5 01 2010
Jamon Bagel

Sorry I called you Mark Mike. It may be awhile before you forgive me I know.

5 01 2010
Elwood

I don’t think Mark quit… I think, like many of us, he’s actually been surfing more than usual. He must have figured out that Wind&Sea isn’t a winter break.

5 01 2010
Jamon Bagel

…or he got killed by falling rocks at Blacks. Mark, don’t set up anywhere near those bluffs. Best to change at the car and walk down. Unless you want to join the naked volleyball game.

5 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

Mark was accidently asphyxiated when Rush Limbaugh farted into the microphone in a recent broadcast. Laird rest his Laird-loving soul.

On the bright side, we’ve been treated to more comments from his dog Eddie.

5 01 2010
Jamon Bagel

Eddie is actually a marmot.

5 01 2010
Shamus McRearload

Eddie is actually an otter that has Sarah Palin’s strap-on cock permanently affixed to its cute, furry liitle asshole.

The otter occasionally skull-rapes Ronald Reagan when it gets bored, or runs out of Alpo treats.

5 01 2010
Taj's Burro

Joel Parkinson.

“Show me a gracious loser, and I’ll show you a bus boy.”

-Woody Hayes

5 01 2010
trauzersnake

@shamus mcrearload-

LMFAO

@taj’s burrow-

I was once a bus boy-arguably the best time of my life…

5 01 2010
Nick Saban

Woody Hayes?? Who ‘dat???

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

I just checked the PostSurf page. Don’t ask why… I have a train-wreck fetish, as you all know. That said, I think that Lawrence of Alabia just penned the greatest futile rebuttal in the history of serfdom… I mean surfdom.

But beware. Reading that short comment is like diving head-first into Mark’s mother’s intestines hoping to quickly find a solitary quark of fecal matter.

6 01 2010
Mark's Mom

Mark doesn’t want to comment here anymore.

He is busy getting ready for the game on Thursday and volunteering for various Conservative groups preparing for the mid-term elections next November.

Why are you people so infatuated with my son? He is not one of you and reading this silly blog makes me regret movin that boy out to the Bay Area back when he was 9 years old.

Come home Mark. Please give up skiing or surfin or whatever it is you do out there. We miss you.

6 01 2010
Bipartisan Observer

To all the maggot freeloaders mooching off the hard working producers of America.

” Any time you give a man something he doesn’t deserve you cheapen him.”

-Woddy Hayes

6 01 2010
Chris Cote

@Anonymous Former Commenter

the mag is about 55%ads, the rest edit, but yes, a lot of the dudes in here have pimples

6 01 2010
Mike

Bark bark Cote, how can you tell what is an ad or editorial? The art direction is full ADD over produced and EVERYTHING you print has product placement, bark bark.

Bark bark cough, If you feature the Volcom team enjoying a trip, is that not an ad? cough cough bark.

Bark bark, Independent features in your magazine with no commercial intent are less common than lakes in the Sahara, bark cough cough.

Cough weeze bark, sorry boys, my owner can’t afford to take me to the vet, bark bark.

Bark bark, Now if one magazine could just approach the art as if deserved attention independent of revenue streams, we’d all have something to enjoy. Sorry Bipartisan, but your quote seemed so appropriate for Mr Cote, Bark bark

6 01 2010
Jamon Bagel

Cheapen me up, baby…I’m ready!

All free/undeserved items and/or cash may be sent to:

Pork Bagel Products LLC
99 Problems
Pigs Paradise, CA/MA/NZ

PS, who are all these maggot freeloaders living it up? I keep hearing about them but never get to meet any. Except my trust fund friends. They’re pretty cheapened too, poor guys.

6 01 2010
Marks dog Eddie

Bark bark, don’t know why I typed Mike…. my owner spews his name in profanity laced four letter diatribes all day long, bark bark cough.

6 01 2010
Mike

Stop trying to get me in trouble Eddie.

Jamon, if you want to find freeloaders living it up, visit the office of your credit card issuers or your local bank.

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

Lol @ Eddie.

6 01 2010
Jamon Bagel

BR, have you ever freeloaded a maggot? Just curious.

6 01 2010
The Nug

Freeloading maggots > Freebasing maggots

6 01 2010
Demon

Jordy Smith…. “Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.” — Charles Bukowski

6 01 2010
SmyrnaJeff

@Demon

Comment of the week.

6 01 2010
The Nug

Jamie O’Brien
“So fuck you, Los Angeles, fuck your palm trees, and your highassed women, and your fancy streets, for I am going home, back to Haleiwa, back to the best damned town in the USA – Haleiwa, Hawai’i.”
— John Fante (mostly)

6 01 2010
Jordy Smith

@Demon

Wrong, bru! Sex is pounding cougs in the ass while grunting, then sending vidphone shots to your mates!

I don’t even know how to sing a Charles Bukowski.

6 01 2010
Demon

Mick ‘Dancing with the Stars’ Fanning

I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes. – Hunter S. Thompson

6 01 2010
Jay

LMAO @ Jordy Smith.

6 01 2010
Jordy Smith

Trust me bru, disco is WAY better than herpes.

6 01 2010
Demon

Hahaha @Jordy

6 01 2010
bidnis mayn

I wonder if mike makes a profit in his business? i wonder if he ever got in a jam and needed 10 grand quick and didn’t have it and had the good fortune of being able to put it on a credit card?

if you are smart you won’t get screwed by a bank or a credit card company. people need to take some responsibility for their actions. if you signed a contract for a mortgage with a rate that was going to change in 5 years and then your home dropped in value and everything went south was that the mortgage brokers fault?

6 01 2010
The Nug

speaking of maggots…

6 01 2010
SmyrnaJeff

Barrack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Van Jones, Eric Holder and David Axelrod:

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extiction”.

-Ronald Reagan

6 01 2010
Dante del Inferno

Usury is the root of all buttfuckery. That’s why I put the loan sharks in with the sodomites, getting all rained on by fire, heh heh. (sorry Jordy).

Ain’t natural to get paid for no other reason than you already have too much money… Also ain’t right to keep upping the interest on a balance with all them triggers and penalties and 4-point fonts. Tiz easy to blame the person with less money…they shoulda known better.

Just like keeping that wallet full of cash you found. It’s their fault for dropping it, right? Yeah. Hope your umbrella is fireproof, bidness mayn.

6 01 2010
The Nug

@smyrna

“If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.”
-Henry Louis Mencken

6 01 2010
Demon

Brodie Carr
     
“I can’t dislike you, but I will say this to you: you haven’t got long before you are all going to kill yourselves, because you are all crazy. And you can project it back at me … but I am only what lives inside each and every one of you.” – Charlie Manson

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

Andy Irons

“I love the FedEx driver because he is a drug dealer and he don’t even know it.”

-Mitch Hedberg

6 01 2010
Mike

Business dope,

I love how the predatory financial “services” industry writes their own laws, socializes ( yes Mark, that scary term) it’s losses and privatizes it’s profit and then points at the consumer as the failing cog in the wheel while the banking industry drives the pre scheduled bus over the true victims.

Then some poor schmuck like Mark votes for those who gamble with other people’s deposits and beg for TARP when those bets become due for payment. How bout packaging those debts and selling the derivatives to global creditors? Sounds like a win/win to me.

Yes, I make money delivering spectacular, cutting edge art with exemplorary service. I Produce. Every fucking dollar spent with my company is the definition of value.

Let’s take the Automobile industry as an example, Mark. Those (you) dumb fucks are still shilling the same dirty technology as 100 years ago and their products are now infinitely less important than their relatively new imperative… their credit departments… tie in a “service agreement” with a conditional warranty and you have one fucked consumer. It should be embarrassing to any Auto “engineer” that today’s vehicles remain such technological relics.

As corporate america realizes the scam of this century, everyone scrambles to become their own mini banks and to appease “investors” (speculators). The products they sell are now just a conduit into a spider web of escalating credit that is much more profitable than the widgets they have produced in China.

Fuck you Mark.

Now back to your surfing blog….

6 01 2010
Mark

@Mike

Are you still planning to buy a work van from me?

I really need some deals right now so I can pay down my credit cards this month.

6 01 2010
Mark

And don’t worry Mike.

We can get you financed with no money down.

6 01 2010
Mike

thanks Mark, but I’ll pay cash… not what your finance manager wants to hear, hence no discounts.

Do you need tickets for thursday?

6 01 2010
Jim B.

” Intellectual growth should begin at birth and cease only at death”.

-Albert Einstein

For Owen wright who recently claimed that he has never been able to read an analog clock, only digital.

6 01 2010
Dick Trickle

I never did win no checkr’d flag-but I never did come in last.

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

@Mark and Mike (aka: the civil war),

Whether it be liberals or conservatives that inevitably destroy this once great country, we are doomed as a species.

Thankfully, on the third day, our gracious Laird and Savior created Xanax and Nyquil martinis.

Take a few shots, grab some popcorn and a stout bib, and enjoy the show.

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

And lay off Mark you scrawny little weakling fools! Mark is a gem of gems! Mark is the wind beneath the wings of marginally-disabled nihilists everywhere!

Pessimists who have absolutely no faith in humanity can triumphantly declare, “The glass is half-full of Mark, and Mark is fully empty!” Even agnostics have to start questioning their humanistic world views. The mere existence of Mark proves there is no God, but there probably should be. Laird knows.

Mark is the result of Descartes’ duality, Pascal, and Nietzsche’s views collide and are crushed by their own gravitational forces. Using the Socratic method, morality cannot be an absolute because Mark exists. Morality cannot be a human construct, because Mark is a human construct. Morality cannot be a product of evolutionary forces, because Mark’s existence disproves the Theory of Evolution. Stay with me here.

The only thing Mark proves, is that he’s something, which is counter to nothing. That something is obviously tainted, which affects everything. Therefore, the nothingness must be perfect. “Ahhhhhh…” you may say.

Émile Durkheim said it best in his great work ‘La Sociologia e il Suck Dominos Scientifico’ when he briefly stated, “Eat a shimmery cock you dog-fucking, felch-licking, wart-riddled fuckwad!”

And how can we, as mere mortals, argue with the greatest sociologist of the turn of the century?

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

My tenses could use some work in the third paragraph of my last outburst. Mike will understand.

Heh heh.

6 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

aaaaaaaaaannnnnndd thassss all foooolllkkktthhhs!!

7 01 2010
Dick Trickle

Hey man, lay off Mark, he’s a good guy.

7 01 2010
Blasphemy Rottmouth

Have to fear Dick Trickle, as Mark’s good book surely doth state, “For without a puny portion of light, there can be no darkness.”

We’re ALL in this shithole together.

Carry on.

7 01 2010
Jim B.

My friend told me about this site and how it was similar to post surf.

Looks to me like the same people talking about the same things.

I would like to hear more about surfing and less about politics. Anyone with a brain knows that Conservatives and their cronies fucked this country and that we are all paying for it ( although Obama has turned out to be more dishonest than anyone who preceded him ) but I don’t want to read about it here.

Let’s get some info on this years tour or on underground chargers like Greg Long or Capetown’s Andrew Marr. There is a lot more depth to the surfing world than Jordy’s anal desires or Mark v Mike or Blasphemy’s weirdness.

Thank’s for the soapbox mate.

7 01 2010
SmyrnaJeff

Obama promised us transparency and gave us transgenders.

Question for readers of Nugable:

Without bashing Bush or banks or Cheney, what is your opinion of how President Obama has lived up to the promises he made during his campaign?

And what is your opinion of the politicians from Nebraska and Louisianna who took bribes to vote for the health care bill?

And at what point will Obama start taking responsibility for the actions of his administration?

I know this is a surfing blog but, in my opinion, the finest attribute of our sport is the freedom that is associated with it. And unless you are living under a rock and not paying any attention to what is going on around you then you would know that our freedom as Americans is on the verge of being stolen from us.

P.S. Coldest winter ever in NSB. I am headin south to the Carib for a month so I will see you in February.

7 01 2010
Mike

I told you I was mortified BR, what else do I have to say?

As for Smyrna Mark, I agree. Obama has failed everyone who voted for Change. “YES WE CAN, HOPE FOR CHANGE”. Or Bush’s 3 term.

Sorry Jim for the political discourse, but commenting on pro surfing gets boring quickly because pro surfers are boring.

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