Video of the Week: Alana Blanchard

19 11 2009

Kauai’s Alana Blanchard is a Hawaiian jewel and a ASP Women’s World Tour rookie. She has been a Nugable fave ever since she showed us how to properly execute the frontside bottom turn. Enjoy.

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21 responses

19 11 2009
trauzersnake

First!!! Cumbeards!…I love her.

19 11 2009
Jay

Sure she’s hot, but she outsurfs most guys at my break.

19 11 2009
Mark

Nea Post was hotter.

19 11 2009
The Nug

Nea Post is a huge call. Gold star for Mark.

19 11 2009
The original Jimmy Football

I glad she never takes off on lefts

19 11 2009
Blasphemy Rottmouth

I would camp outside her house with a pair of high powered binoculars and/or an army-issued sniper scope and watch over her day and night so that she knew how much I loved her.

Hell, I may even write a blog post about her.

19 11 2009
Blasphemy Rottmouth

Alana probably poops out of her ears, since there is no way anything larger than atom can be squeezed out of that tight derriere.

Just a thought.

19 11 2009
Elwood

BR-

As great as some of your blogs are, I’d vote that you leave this one alone.

19 11 2009
Blasphemy Rottmouth

I’d like to make sweet love to Alana in her pink Honda Element. The one with the furry, pink dashboard cover and the pink, fuzzy dice hanging from her rearview mirror. Yea, that one. I picture myself thrusting profoundly into her sweet, pink candy factory with sheer conviction and force. I am hearing Beethoven’s ‘Ninth Symphony’ building to its crescendo. And as I’m just about to climax; I pull out, rise up to my feet, thrust my arms into the air to signify victory, and I cry out like a Barbarian who has just conquered a thousand armies. Then I blast my pink hoo-ha juice into the air with the velocity of a 50-caliber bullet and…

What I’m trying to say is I dig Alana very, very much.

19 11 2009
Alana's Ear Canal

This Rottenmouth guy is kind of creeping me out. Not because of his vulgar, uncouth sexual comments, but because he just made me realize that’s not ear wax. EWWW!

19 11 2009
Mark

@ Nug

Thanks bro.

I lived in those apartments above the pier in the summer of 89 and sold cars on Beach Blvd. It was actually a great summer for waves. I moved there with a negative attitude about the place but was pretty impressed with those northside rights going into the pier on a big south. Nea Post was always out there. Super cute and a very classy young lady. Guaranteed she’s a conservative.

19 11 2009
carrie prejean

You are being very inappropriate Blasphemy Rottmouth! Mark, I want to ride you like a wild stallion.I just love car salesmen, especially Anerican car salesmen.

19 11 2009
Mike

I’m guessing Blasphemy’s wife has no idea what his pseudonym is…….

Not that I don’t agree completely with every thought, just thinking about a “security” compromise.

Did Nea come through the Rockin Fig inititation…. a la Lisa A?

19 11 2009
Mark

I hear SmyrnaJeff bumped into Alana at a party in Florida during the trade show last year. They hit off pretty well and Jeff asked her if he could accompany her back to her hotel.

“Ah”, Alana moaned,” I am actually on my menstrual cycle right now.”

” Shoot that ain’t a problem!”, said SmyrnaJeff with a note of optimism in his drawl.” I’m on my moped! I’ll just follow you on over there!”

19 11 2009
The Nug

Alana just won the Haleiwa event. How’s that for good timing?

19 11 2009
Mark

Nugstradamus?

19 11 2009
Mike

Why are you selling cars Mark, you should do surf stand up comedy….

Comment of the Weak!!!!!!!

19 11 2009
KevNYC

She has an amazing bod and watching her surf is unreal, but her face is average. Seriously guys.

19 11 2009
trauzersnake

@ kevnyc-

Are you fucking kidding me dude??…I gotta go BR on this…

20 11 2009
Blasphemy Rottmouth

@KevNYC,

Interesting point. One certainly worthy of a hotly contested debate. I’ll concede that her face is not carved into the Mount Olympus of beautiful faces – alongside Mila Kunis, Jessica Alba, Christina Hendricks, or Pete Yorn. At the same time, I would argue that a few flaws in an otherwise perfect veneer scream “attainable.” Even to a vampirish old whore like myself. Her posterior should be carved with the blood of orphaned damsels and laminated with saliva from the famed goats of Antioch, before being mounted in the Library of Congress so that all may see how Dewey their decimal systems become when gazing upon that fine slab of buttock.

Put Mila Kunis’ face on Alana, and the only words that could describe the sensations that would burst forth from my loins have already been written…

… in Mark’s book of Ecclesiastes.

16 06 2011
Pandaranol

Alana is so beautiful, love her!!

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